Freedom

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me.”

-Paulo Coelho.

Shopping Ban

I do not condemn shopping, it builds and nourishes the economy. But here is a thought, in the good old days, people got their clothes mended from tailors, shoes fixed from the cobbler, got small little parts of the blender and stuff from the dingy little stores located in some tiny alleys - this all paid the small local businesses. Now the mentality is we are looking for something to go wrong with our stuff so that we can buy new stuff and throw away the old stuff.

So I say - I do not condemn shopping but I condemn the stigma attached to repeating clothes, needing something new to wear to every party, having things in the closet with their price tag on and yet complaining about having nothing to wear, throwing away stuff without even trying to get it fixed first and just mindless shopping for self-gratification or shopping for the sake of having-everything-everyone-else has.

That is why I follow a shopping ban every other year or so. I have enough stuff to mix- match - use, I think most of us do. Imposing a ban gives a break to the mind and forces you to make most of your existing closet, try to make things work. While sometimes the temptations try and take over your sanity but staying strong gives you a greater sense of achievement later. Not to mention the money and time you save you can spend on hobbies, activities, travel or maybe go towards paying your loan.

If you are interested in pledging a shopping ban then -

Things that are banned:

• Clothes (all kinds!)

Shoes

Accessories/Jewelry

Bags/Purses/Clutches

Cosmetics

Electronics/Gadgets and anything that is unnecessary

Things that are allowed:

• Food
  


• Water
  


• Home Supplies
  


• Medicines
  


• Toiletries (shampoo, soap, etc.)
  

Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger, Top: J Crew Factory, Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Motherhood

How consumed are you in motherhood? Are your kids the best part of your life? Do you feel complete as a woman because you have kids? Are your profile pictures/ status updates/ conversation topics/ small talks/ thoughts/ dreams everything of and about your kids?

I don't understand why anyone would think that way. Life is so BIG. So vast. There are endless possibilities for self-discovery. I hope people explore them all. Kids can remain a beautiful part of life, but not the sole happiness. One needs to feel complete without kids/ or for that matter without a partner.

I hope motherhood doesn't put any brakes on your quest for life but accelerates it.

My 2 cents: There are some who think there is nothing as important for women as wanting to be mothers. Such glorification of motherhood also means if you can’t or don’t wish to have any children there must be something wrong with you. Having children can be one aspect of life but it isn't the whole life. It's okay if you want to have them and it's okay if you don't. Motherhood does not complete you, you are complete even without it.

Sandals: Etienne Aigner, Sweater: Loft, Top: Tommy Hilfiger Factory, Jeans: 7 For All Mankind

Death

I think about Death sometimes, I don't lose my sleep over it, nor do I think about it in a sad or depressing way but just as an inevitable end to the journey called life. You may think I am crazy to be talking about death but I am still going to put forward my thoughts on death.

I don't know when and where it is going to happen for me but let's face it that one can never ever be 'prepared' to face it. I wonder if anyone would miss me or if it would make a difference to anyone's life. Yes, we do live in a bubble of self-importance :-). The truth is that people will carry on without each one of us, just fine. Because people die. They will miss us and then they will go on with their day. What else are they going to do? In the beginning, they might think of us every day and then a few times in the year and slowly the memory will fade, resurfacing only when scratched.

What happens to the 'me' once the body is gone, or is it just the body that is all to our existence? There is no point in thinking about it, because all there is to our existence is this body, just telling you the scientific fact. And since there is no God, no Yamaraj, no soul and the theory of reincarnation is bullshit too, so death is ultimately the full stop.

I think of those who once lived. I think about my grandmother... A few days before she died she kept her head on my lap and cried, calling me with my nickname again and again. Did she want to say something to me? Had she seen her end coming? Today when I think about it I feel she was in a state of panic - of leaving everything and everyone behind, of separating from the loved ones. The memory of her death makes me sad till date.

Can one ever be content with how much ever one has lived, experienced or gathered? or one always feels greedy to see more and experience more? I worry about my near and dear ones, I never want to lose any of them.

Sometimes I think about not just the death of people and animals but also the death of our Sun. When our Sun dies would any life in the universe (if there is any) know that there once lived a Sun who gave birth to such amazing and beautiful creatures?

I am not 'scared' of death per se but I am scared of suffering or of being incapacitated in old age. I do not want to be a burden on anyone. My biggest dream is to die swiftly, without pain, without going through a shock or a panic attack, as if I am simply fading away in deep sleep. And till then I plan to live, work, exercise and have fun each day.

If there was no death, we were immortal, and there was no end to learning and working then wouldn't one get bored with doing the same things over and over again? The knowledge of death, the thought that there is an end to all of it makes me enjoy every day with utmost enthusiasm.

I want to say that I’ve lived a reasonably good life. Many live in poverty and severe conditions, and a lot die even before they turn twenty. So I can say that I have lived better and longer than many.

Many spend their entire life being toxic and then towards the end they suddenly realize that the end is near and they don't want to be remembered as being toxic and then they mend their ways, that is not how I want to live, don't get me wrong, it does not mean I take crappy treatment from anyone or let people walk all over me, I stand up and am harsh when it is needed. I haven't and will not hurt any living soul intentionally, be it even animals and that is how I want to continue until I die.

When it is time to go I do not want to say I lived how people wanted me to and never actually lived my own life, so I live my way, by my rules, I spend each minute how I want to, I do not live by society's norms, I do not do things because I fear people's criticism, criticizers are just a bunch to unhappy and hypocrite people reflecting their own mental status on others, so never mind about them, they are not worth spending time over.

My default mental status is at peace with myself and with the world,  and that is exactly how I want to be when I leave the world. I want to go without any regret or grievance against anyone.

Pant: J Crew, Tee: J Crew Factory, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

legging

Do’s and Don’ts For Leggings

• Don’t wear leggings as pants since the material can be thin enough that it can show skin or underwear (unless of course, it is on purpose!) - I have seen many women in India do this.


• Do wear leggings under a cute skirt or dress that you would otherwise think is too mini or with a


• pair of shorts. This way you can make it a three-season item.


• Do buy leggings made from thicker fabric and test the stretch with your fingers. These will last longer, and often look better than cheaper leggings made from thinner fabric.


• I have written tips on how to wear leggings here, however, I must mention that I wear leggings very rarely. Not a big fan. I prefer tights and jeggings.

Pant: American Eagle, Shirt: Banana Republic, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Stressed out -

There are a few things that stress me out -

1. Watching movies in the theater - I watch a lot of them but at home, at my pace and also while parallel tasking. I watch movies like one would watch a TV show, 25-30 minutes a day. Watching them in theater means I have to watch the whole movie in one go, that stresses me out. If I don’t like the first 20 minutes of the film I leave the movie hall.


2. Going to Salon - I do almost all beauty related things at home - there is no commute time involved, no small talk with the beautician and I can do something in parallel like catch up on TV shows, while I have a face mask on, or I can clean the closet!


3. People - Being around people who I don’t get a good vibe from stresses me out. I try to avoid them because at that time I can be around someone or something that I like. Also if I get an inkling that someone doesn’t like me or is trying to avoid me then I do not impose myself on them, instead, I will be around someone who likes me or is trying to reach out or keep in touch with me. I do not feel obligated to hang out with people because I am related to them or because I have known them forever. People grow up and most likely grow apart, and it’s okay to let it go than to hold on to something that is not adding any value but just drama and stress to our lives.


4. Shopping - Yes! shopping stresses me out. I can go without shopping for years, the max I have stayed without shopping is 3 years straight. I am elated that I am able to use my creativity to create a new outfit every day from my existing wardrobe, without having to go through the torture of browsing through stuff, trying stuff, not-fitting into stuff and so on.

3 combos with white top - 

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Dressed with comfort

Being dressed with comfort is not synonymous with looking unfashionable. Comfort and style should go hand in hand. For me style means being comfortable with what I am wearing when I do not have to fidget with my clothes when I am dressed weather-appropriately, nothing itches or slips or comes in the way of life, the same comfort goes for shoes, hair, makeup, and accessories. You could look effortless but be uncomfortable, you will always find great options within your comfort zone. I also like style that is not too much - not too dressy, well dressed but not all ‘dressed up’ so to say.

Here is a white top with two skirts - 

Skirt: Gap

Top: Tommy Hilfiger

Shoes: Etienne Aigner

Skirt: Banana republic

Top: Tommy Hilfiger

Shoes: Kelly and katie

food

We over glamorize the food we eat. We let food define our happiness and satisfaction. Food and shopping can never be hobbies or therapies.

Oh! a birthday without a big-fat-cake is a sacrilege, holidays without non-stop sugar munching are not worth it, buffets without over-load of desserts is a waste of money - all absolute nonsense.

I am not saying that I would have a birthday without a cake or go for buffets and not have desserts ... what I am saying is that I do not obsess over it. I do not have to have it! It's like you drink water, breathe air, you eat food. It doesn't require neurotic focus or attention. While I still crave chocolates and cakes among other forms of suicidal food, I have managed to (with a lot of will power) make healthy choices, which kind of balances out my once-in-a-blue-moon acts of sin. Though I am nowhere near a perfect lifestyle, weight or health... but I am sure and consistently trying to stay on the path of attaining one, that ought to count for something, right?

Pant: American Eagle

Top: Tommy Hilfiger Factory

Jacket: Zara

Shoes: Nine West

What the health: Part 2 - Excuses we use for not losing weight

Here are some common (and lame!) excuses that we use for not doing what is right.

(in this post I am covering the top 3 excuses)

1. I am too busy.

You have work deadlines, sick kids and you eat what is handy, you can barely bring home takeout, and you have time for nothing else.

Our body is the only thing that we have from the time we are born till the time we die and if you are too busy to spend time to take care of it then, well, you should not be spending any time reading this post.

Everyone gets 24 hours a day, no more, no less. We all live busy lives, no one is gifted with more time!  Being busy does not imply that you are being productive - you might very well be spending time on social media and calling it being busy. I have always said this - it is never about time, it is always about priority. As they say, where there is a will there is a way.

Hone your planning, prioritization and organization skills. I have seen CEOs, VPs, and directors of companies working out every single day because living a healthy lifestyle is a priority for them. I am a proud employee of one such company.

Sticking to healthy behaviors like making time for meals and squeezing in exercise throughout the day, even when your life feels like it's going 100 miles a minute, is actually the key to long-term health. When the downfall of health starts it takes a long time to recover, your body is constantly giving you signals if there is something wrong, don’t wait for your body to give up, start a healthy lifestyle today. Don't be one of those who lose their health gaining wealth and then spend their wealth to gain health.

2. I have kids

Even more of a good reason to start working out... ever since I remember - I have exercised. I don't really remember the time when I didn't. You know why? because I saw my parents working out every single day... till today.  So I did not know any other lifestyle, I thought this is what people do... they exercise every day like they brush their teeth every day. Set a good example for your kids. Better yet, workout as a family - ask them to join you in biking, hiking, swimming, dance, rock climbing, and whatnot.

You can not tell kids 'go and exercise' because... they are watching you! Are my parents engrossed in binge-watching TV shows all day long? or are they living an active lifestyle? As they say 'Raise yourself before you raise your kids'.

3. I don't have time to cook.

But you have time to commute to a restaurant - order food - get the food on your table - or even food pick up from a restaurant takes at least 20 to 30 minutes of your time, isn't it? It hardly takes any time to cook if you plan well.

I have allocated a fixed amount of time that I spend on cooking each day - so even if I have a leftover from last night I still spend that allocated time on food preparation for the next day - like kneading dough, cutting vegetables or just make some supplements like soup, koshimbir, snack items, and whatnot.

Just to clarify I hate to cook but I do not use it as an excuse, there are many things one might hate but has to take care of - that is what growing up and living a healthier lifestyle is all about.

One more option is to get cooking help - whichever part of the world you live in you will be able to find cooking/cleaning help. Plan your finances accordingly - for example, spend less money on shopping material things and instead spend it on a cook/help and essentially on your own body!

Studies show that people who cook meals at home tend to eat more healthfully and weigh less than those who don't.

To be continued...

Skirt: J crew factory

Top: Old Navy

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Seattle Summer!

This has been the hottest summer in the last 12-13 years of my stay in Seattle. This place is heaven when the sun shines (in a year it rains for good 10 months at least).

I am wearing a lot of white this summer...

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Tommy Hilfiger Factory store

The war of art

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Pant: American Eagle

Top: Charter's Club

Necklace: Nordstrom Rack

My new post 'the war of art' is available here.

The Sun has arrived!

Seattle gets hardly 60 days of sunlight throughout the year (and I am not exaggerating). Vitamin D deficiency is the most prevalent deficiencies in Washington state, trying to store some D this summer.

Jumpsuit: Forever 21

Top: Ann taylor (also worn HERE)

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger

April 2016: Book Reviews

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Loft (also worn HERE)

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger

My new post April 2016: Book Reviews is available HERE

The Stripes Trick

Denim: American Eagle

Top: Banana Republic

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger

Vertical stripes - make you look thinner, the closer they are placed the slimmer you will look.

Horizontal stripes - Makes you look wider, however, they can be used in your favor if placed properly.


The boxes on far left and right look the slimmest and the one in the middle widest. That is why tucking the shirt can make one look wider and shorter.

Diagonal stripes - are slimming and no matter where you place them on your body they will slim that area.

I am a stripes sucker and love horizontal stripes. Here are some more ways I wore stripes - STRIPES

Annoying

Thing that annoys me the most is when people I am talking to are checking whatsapp/ facebook/ twitter or some random websites on their phones. 

We lose the present moment to check all the other moments. 

Small but important moments in our lives are barely noticed because we are busy with our phones.

Life is happening right at this minute but we ignore it to check what already happened, the history. 

We are here to live it now, in this moment, when our hearts beat in our chests, when our eyes gaze across the great beauties…

Do recognize the small but important moments in our lives when we are actually living them.

Dress: Ann Taylor Factory

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

(Photos are from 2013 clicked by Sudhakar Senthilvel)

Styling is an art

What I wear is my interpretation of what looks good, it is obviously not the ideal way of doing things. But still you might end up liking something and would be able to mix and match according to your interpretation of style. Styling is an art and that too an abstract one and art is always subjective.

Shirt: J Crew Factory

Artist Crop: American Eagle

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger

Good better best

These pictures are over a month old. When I look at the pictures taken today I feel I am getting a little better at setting up the camera, tripod, shutter speed, aperture, lighting, angles and all that jazz.

As they say 'Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best'.

Jeans: American Eagle

Top: J crew Factory

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger

Long term goal

All of the young people out there - when you are 60 years old what are the things you would want to have? What are your goals? What is your long term plan?

Money? Career? Family? Knowledge?

And what if at that age you have reached top position in the company, living in a multi-million dollar house, traveled the world, have a gorgeous family but guess what you do not have the most important thing that one needs to have to enjoy all of the above? HEALTH  physical and mental both.

Is it your long term goal? Are you taking any action on it right now?

chambray: J crew factory

skirt: chicwish (I definitely need to use a belt on this skirt as the waistband folds a lot)

sandals: Tommy Hilfiger from DSW

Games People Play

I am not talking about the emotional games that people play ;-). 

I love to play Catan, Ticket to Ride and most of all Chess.

There have been many times when I took the opponent's main pieces (queen, rooks) and was confident to win but some of them still managed to trap my king without the main pieces on their side. I always say chess taught me the biggest lesson in life -

One is given everything that they need to win, some may keep complaining about the sacrificed or lost pieces and some will be busy using what they have left. It is all about winning and if you don't then nothing but you yourself is to be blamed...!

I am on chess.com and my id is rasikamahabal. 

Top: Loft

Camouflage Crop: Gap

Sandal: Tommy Hilfiger (from DSW)

Lame Excuse

One may put on weight because of several reasons: pregnancy, childbirth, medical issues, bad diet etc. but the most lame excuse I have heard for being overweight is 'It is genetic!'.

The only thing that is genetic or so to say runs in the family is lifestyle, choice of diet and exercise.

I am not an exception to have used the lame reason simply because it was too convenient to blame it on genetics.

Top: Ann Taylor (factory)
Jeans: American Eagle
Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger (from DSW)
Bracelet and necklace: Charming Charlie