Lead by example

I seldom give any weight to someone's opinion unless I respect them in 'that' particular field. If I like your body - health - mental status then I will listen to your fitness-diet tips. There are people who are double my size  - who have given me diet/ weight suggestions/advice.

It doesn't matter if you hold a doctorate in nutrition/ health or diet. First, prove it to me that you have got it under control in your life and then you shall have my 100% attention :-)...

Don't get me wrong, I love to improve myself, I love pieces of advice but say if my mother gives me advice on weight and diet then I would happily take it because she has been in shape forever, her diet is perfect, ever since I remember I have seen her exercise every.single.day, and even after having 3 kids she has a flat belly - she holds the credibility to give a piece of advice...

Or I would happily take a piece of advice on behavior and worldly wisdom from my father, he is one of the best people I have known in my life. But if toxic, negative and just bad people start to find faults in anyone/anything, I can not help but wonder why don't they spend that time in introspection.

I think you get the gist...Lead by example...

The world is changed by our example, not by our opinion.

Random Thoughts

• A little restraint in speech, action, and reaction goes a long way.


• The 'how' matters more than the 'what' in almost all the situations


• Give your best compassionate smile, instead of saying, 'told you so!'


• Always look at the bigger picture

Jegging: American Eagle, Shirt: Esprit, Shoes: Me Too

You deserve it!

For things to turn out the way we want to we need to make the right decisions, and we can make the right decisions when we make a lot of bad decisions and learn from them. A lot of people take the responsibility for ALL the bad decisions, they never blame God, planets, their parents or anyone if things do not go their way in life but when they arrive at the success they tag it as luck, fortune or someone's blessings. And there are also people who tag others' success as luck, fortune, blessings. If you belong to this category, this post is for you.

I feel every human has a choice to do or not to do something. No one can force you to do anything [unless you are at gunpoint!]. If you choose to do something that you do not want to then you are either not audacious enough to stand up for yourself or have a good reason for doing it [which again makes it - your choice!]  

If we are ready to take responsibility for the 'bad' that happens to us and say that 'yes, it was my choice', it makes me wonder why can't we own up to the 'good' that happens to us as well? I am not saying one needs to be ungrateful for everything that they have but it is just a thought, that if we are responsible for all the bad, then we should be responsible for all the good equally. {I am not talking about the basic good things like the family/ background/ money that you were born with but the later stages}. If you see someone doing well, realize that they have arrived there by going through hardships, by going through a series of bad decisions, it didn't happen overnight.

We should not label things as 'luck' (myth), 'good fortune' (doesn't exist) or 'blessings' (bullshit).

Why can't we just say that - Yes! I deserve it!  or Yes! You deserve it!  We sure as hell have no problem saying it when something 'unfortunate' happens. 

Thoughts?

Dressed with comfort

Being dressed with comfort is not synonymous with looking unfashionable. Comfort and style should go hand in hand. For me style means being comfortable with what I am wearing when I do not have to fidget with my clothes when I am dressed weather-appropriately, nothing itches or slips or comes in the way of life, the same comfort goes for shoes, hair, makeup, and accessories. You could look effortless but be uncomfortable, you will always find great options within your comfort zone. I also like style that is not too much - not too dressy, well dressed but not all ‘dressed up’ so to say.

Here is a white top with two skirts - 

Skirt: Gap

Top: Tommy Hilfiger

Shoes: Etienne Aigner

Skirt: Banana republic

Top: Tommy Hilfiger

Shoes: Kelly and katie

Lifestyle, health and social circles

I have had non-vegetarian and alcohol loving friends who did not associate or avoid me based on my lifestyle choices, they lived in their delirium and let me live on my own.

I have this closest friend from my college days (we were set apart by distance after college), I asked her recently if she was a vegetarian. She laughed and said she is a non-vegetarian and asked me the same question. So all these years we did not know what we chose to put in our own guts, the reason is simple because we connected on understanding, empathy, compassion, care, and love. I had like to believe that is what normal people do. So the point being I do not know the food and drink preferences of many of my close friends.

I have heard it from many people that the best of their friends started omitting them from a social scene because the ones being omitted did not drink or smoked.

One girl told me that she was avoided by girls living in her society because she didn't speak the same language as they did - of clothes, shopping, and jewelry. I can tell you for sure that this girl is highly educated, independent and more successful than the rest of her neighbors. I insisted (but to no avail) that she tells her 'society girls' that she had the biggest jewel of all times - fitness.

Another friend recently told me that he prefers to eat home-cooked fresh food every day (Kudos!) and rest of his friend circle loves to eat at restaurants every other day, he chose to let go of that group who also had started to avoid him, and he formed friendship with people who did potluck, poker, hiking, and biking, as simple as that.

Anyway, I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say - do not fall prey to bad habits (like smoking and drinking) or eat unhealthy food at the restaurants frequently or change your food preferences or change your religious beliefs or become a clothes horse - just because you want to adhere to a group of people.

This is a big problem within people living away from their own country - they try to form superficial friendships just to be able to socialize with their own kind and culture. They do not think if my wavelength matches with this group, are their lifestyle choices bothering me, am I just hanging out with them to kill time or just to get a feeling of belongingness.

Believe me, the world is full of nice people that you will stumble upon every inch, every corner and you will end up finding more wonderful and interesting people who match your psyche and respect you for who you are.

If you have had one such bad experience before then don't let it dampen your mood to have that kind of emotional involvement again, just make sure that you are accepted irrespective of the choices you make. Also, don't make lifestyle choices based on what your so-called friends are doing - don't succumb to social pressures.

Your social circle (and every relationship for that matter) has a big role to play in the lifestyle that you want life or the mental equilibrium that you need. All I can advise is to stay away from relationships that are affecting your lifestyle or physical and mental health.

(I have written about this experience in bits and pieces previously in 'the meaty story-  ').

Skirt: Chicwish

Top: White house black market

Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Happiness...

Never have I seen so many young, privileged, people trying so hard to be happy. There are countless articles written about it, blogs named for it, workshops attending to it. Whoever said we’re supposed to be happy all the time, anyway? We’re not. And the pressure to do so might be what’s making us unhappy, to begin with. It’s OK if you’re not completely content with your life twenty-four hours a day. Can you imagine what a boring person you’d be if you were? Going through shit storms, feeling uninspired, hating the way you look and having guilt over not accomplishing enough are just some of the things that make you interesting, relatable and human. Not to mention, if you’re reading this, then you have internet access and if you have internet access, it stands to reason that you have a computer, which makes me think you probably have a place to live, with electricity and plenty of food to eat and clean clothes to wear, which are all things that an enormous amount of people living on the planet today do not have. This is not to say that people shouldn’t strive to better their positions in life, however, it seems like so many of us are no longer content with a regular amount of happy, yet dead-set on being maniacally jubilant, all of the time.

- Kelly Rheel

Dress: Anthropologie

Shoes: Me too

What the health: Part 5 - Lame excuses continued...

This is part 5 of 'What the health' series, you can find earlier parts here - part1, part2, part3, part4

10. I can't live without junk food

There is this waterfall in Jasper, Canada and there is a board put up everywhere around it - it says don’t step on the rocks near the waterfall, they are very slippery and people have died here. People still cross the fence and walk on the rocks to take selfies. That means they accept the risk of dying a bad and untimely death out of their own stupidity.

Anyway coming back to the point if you can not live without junk food then no one can help you there. You have to make a choice. If you can't live without junk food then make peace with living in a junk-body.

11. I don't like gyms

Do you like parks? mountains? lakes? anything? Find a place you like and incorporate that activity as your workout. Running, Skiing, Tennis, Badminton, Dancing ...? There must be something. And if you don't know what you like yet, then try them all and I am sure one would click.

I do something different every day - yoga, hiking, biking, kickboxing, dance, pilates, tennis, badminton, weight training and whatnot (whether I like it or not!).

12. I am too old

Seriously, you are not. Meet Fauja Singh and Ernestine Shepherd. If you still think you are old then shame on you!

13. I hate working out alone

Join a group class, a running group, ask a friend to join you ... there are a lot of options. If not hiking/ biking or doing yoga at home then I prefer to workout at group classes, that motivate me the most.

14. It is boring

That is because you haven't explored all your options. Find something you enjoy. (and honestly do it anyway.)

to be continued...

Dress: J crew

Shoes: Me too

What the health: Part 1 - Life is beautiful...when healthy.

Having a good lifestyle helps you to get thinner, feel energetic and healthy (emotionally, physically and mentally). So I decided to write my experiences and battle with health, fitness, exercise, and diet but the post was turning out to be too long so breaking it up into parts.

Beware: This post has strong opinions (facts ;-)) and a rant on fitness, obviously you are not mandated to read it ;-).

The Jargon - These days there is a jargon - don't fat shame people - and no I am not going to fat shame, anyone. All I want to say is - IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE FAT! And it is not okay to live a junk lifestyle.

Just to clarify - I said the same thing when I weighed 180 pounds and saying the same thing today when I weigh 135 pounds that is 10+ pounds overweight for my height.

[There are some rare health conditions where weight gain happens, and it can also be a side effect of certain medications and I am not talking about these scenarios here - however, shifting to a healthier lifestyle helps with most medical conditions].

How do we get fat?

It is really not rocket science to figure out why we get fat, we all know the reasons!

We eat junk food, live a junk lifestyle, are engrossed in sedentary behavior and do not exercise. There is so much variety of food available these days, one doesn't know how to control.

There was a time when I treated my gut and health with complete ignorance or shall I say disrespect, I ate out at restaurants every other day with colleagues, friends, family and sometimes alone - I ate pasta, pizza, cupcakes, burgers, ice-creams, anything, and everything. To add to that I consumed medicines, painkillers, antacids every other day, I didn't have time and the luxury to be sick.

No need to say that one day everything came back to me like a boomerang. When the downfall of health starts it takes a long time to recover (if recovery happens!).  I will spare you the details of health troubles I went through for almost four consecutive years, all's well that ends well. During those years I caught some ailment one after the other, with no breather at all. I did not have the interest or energy to enjoy anything happening around me. Health affects everything that we do, career, relationships, personal interests, and whatnot. Life is beautiful… yes… but more so when one is healthy. So I say... it is not okay to be fat, it is not okay to live a junk lifestyle, period.

If today I have lost weight and feeling light and right - it is not because of luck- it is because I changed my entire lifestyle and obviously I had to put in efforts to do so. Tomorrow if I weigh 180 pounds again or feel sick all the time then I know it will be because of my own stupidity, lack of control, lack of discipline and messed up priorities.

By being fat we are inviting diseases like heart ailments, diabetes, arthritis, GERD, sleep apnea, some cancers, gallbladder disease and many more - which is okay if you want to live with one, but trust me (or ask anyone who is suffering or has suffered because of bad lifestyle choices) that it isn't fun to live with one...

Here is why I respect fit people - irrespective of my overweight or fat status -

“Because fit people with a physique is much more than how good they look. A well-built physique is a status symbol.

It reflects that you work hard for it, no money can buy it. You cannot inherit it you cannot steal it you cannot borrow it you cannot hold on to it without constant work.

It shows dedication, it shows discipline it shows self-respect. It shows dignity. It shows patience work ethic, passion. That is why it's attractive to me.”

To be continued ...

Skirt: United colors of benetton (also worn here)

Top: Black house white market

Shoes: Kelly and katie

Good TV Shows

My new post-Good TV shows is available HERE

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Guess

Sandals: Indigo

Sunglasses: BVLGARI

My opinions on opinions

My new post 'My opinions on opinions' is available HERE

Jeans: American Eagle

Top: Ann Taylor (on sale available in stores right now)

Shoes: Me Too

In your closet or store it?

If you have your closet packed to the brim - sundresses in the winter and puffy coats in summer - then your mornings are going to be hard just looking for clothes to wear and you may end up feeling like you have nothing to wear. Do yourself a favor and work with ingredients for the weather outside your door, keep out current season's clothes and put everything else out of sight. I store them in a box like THIS.

Top: Banana Republic (also worn HERE)

Artist Crop: American Eagle

Sandals: Indigo

Sunglasses: Gucci

Shoes

Shoe is a small part of your outfit but an important one. Your shoe collection will be specific to you needs - standing or walking a lot etc. Here is a small checklist of the most basic shoes that will have you covered for every occasion -

1. Black/brown - heels or flats


2. Black/Brown boots


3. Nude heels or flats - they work with everything (worn HERE)


4. walkable flats - sneakers/ sandals or slip-ons


5. a pair of bright colored shoes/sandals that will make a dull outfit look exciting

*Personal Opinion - Never wear sneakers to any place other than the gym or workouts.

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Alfani (also worn HERE)

Sandals: Indigo

No repeat value

In the last 8-9 years, I have worn this dress just thrice. These kinds of dresses do not have much of repeat value, after all, you can not wear the same dress to every party that you go to (not that people notice but it's our own fear that they will :-) ). I am not much of a party animal so I avoid buying party dresses.

So, today's recommendations are:

1. Buy stuff that matches your current lifestyle and body type.


2. Spend the minimum on clothes that have no repeat value (for you).

Dress: AND (from India)

Shoes: Me too

Magical Side Trips

We make career decisions at an early age then put on blinders and gallop towards our determined destination. Why don’t we just enjoy our journey and explore the magical side trips? 

We cannot know what adventure awaits us or how those side trips affect our lives but are we missing something grand because we decide to stay on the same path?

Denim Shirt: American Eagle

Jeans: American Eagle

Olive Jacket: Gap

Shoes: Blondo

Happy new year

Happy new year! May your days be filled with wonder and your nights a thousand stars.

Jeans: American Eagle

Gingham shirt: J Crew Factory

Sweater: J Crew Factory

Shoes: Blondo

Meaningful

Can one create meaningful art until they made meaningful lives?

Jeans: American Eagle

Top: J crew factory

Shoes: Kenneth Cole

Waste of time

'You read a lot, looks like you have a lot of time to waste' someone said to me the other day. 

Do we have a constant need to categorize things that we do as productive and unproductive? The heart says read fiction and the brain says 'read non-fiction that is productive'.

I crave to experience those childhood days again when life was innocent, had no responsibilities and had nothing to prove. I would spend hours making paper boats and looking at them move in a pond from one end to the other. I did it goal free and guilt free. No one (including my brain) had opinions on how I spent my time. 

It is amazing to see people who have figured out what 'waste of time' is while I still contemplate what 'time' means. We are all going to die one day so does that mean life is a waste of time? 

Top: J crew Factory

Scarf: Esprit

Jeans: 7 for all mankind 

Shoes: Kelly and Katie

The Shoe Story

My new post The Shoe Story is available HERE

Top: J crew factory

Jeans: American Eagle

Jacket: Gap

Shoes: Tom's

Belt: Style & Co.

Weather Report

These days Seattle weather is too cold for skirts and too hot for tights and booties. 

Top : J crew factory

Scarf : Target

Jegging : American Eagle

Shoes : Kenneth Cole Reaction

Energy

Do we always have great fear of getting tired? Any energy spent is not lost forever. We plan our fatigue the same way we plan everything else. We 'save energy' to work out at the gym, there too we time ourselves, count repetitions, track the heart rate.

These days people wear those wrist bands which shows how much they slept! If you wake up and feel fresh then you slept well... Similarly if you feel like working out in the morning and then again in the evening then go for it! Some days you might have a lot more energy than your already set goal of X steps (which can be set on the wristband) and on some days you might have to drag yourself to take even one step ;-), Why let a machine decide for us how much we should do? Why not just go with the instinct?

We definitely need to stop robotic routines and move around, run, walk, do Pilates; Yoga, go biking, climb hills, jump, dance... There is no rule how many times or how much to do. Just do it as much as you can... because really you can!

Top: J crew Factory

Jegging: American Eagle

Sweater: Calvin Klein

Sandals: Kenneth Cole Reaction