Irony

The biggest irony about me being a blogger is that - I am a private person in personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with who.

I never was too specific about my life in this space and I never will be. The intention is not to be mysterious or cryptic but because I like to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible), and the same goes for updates on social profiles.

I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions.

I cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends) and they choose to talk about my posts in person with me. Even if it is all compliments (on my face at least). My online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect its contents with anyone in real life.  :-).

Say what you wanna say

Here are my five reasons why I think saying what's on your mind is always the best way to go:

1. Silence is as good as approval. If you disapprove of something but not say anything about it, it is as good as enabling it.

2. People are not mind-readers. While you may think things are obvious, people might not view the world with your perspective.

3. You might not be the only one thinking about it.

4. Speaking your mind can be a huge stress relief. I am incapable of not speaking my mind, I have a great deal of anxiety if for some reason I don't speak. It drives me crazy. It becomes this whole thing which would have not even existed had I just spoken up. Speak up!

5. You would never have to say, “I wish I had said…”

Obviously, there is a way to put forth what you want to say. The above points are not applicable for saying just the disapproved things or just the things that are hurting you but the good things too :-).

Shopping Ban

I do not condemn shopping, it builds and nourishes the economy. But here is a thought, in the good old days, people got their clothes mended from tailors, shoes fixed from the cobbler, got small little parts of the blender and stuff from the dingy little stores located in some tiny alleys - this all paid the small local businesses. Now the mentality is we are looking for something to go wrong with our stuff so that we can buy new stuff and throw away the old stuff.

So I say - I do not condemn shopping but I condemn the stigma attached to repeating clothes, needing something new to wear to every party, having things in the closet with their price tag on and yet complaining about having nothing to wear, throwing away stuff without even trying to get it fixed first and just mindless shopping for self-gratification or shopping for the sake of having-everything-everyone-else has.

That is why I follow a shopping ban every other year or so. I have enough stuff to mix- match - use, I think most of us do. Imposing a ban gives a break to the mind and forces you to make most of your existing closet, try to make things work. While sometimes the temptations try and take over your sanity but staying strong gives you a greater sense of achievement later. Not to mention the money and time you save you can spend on hobbies, activities, travel or maybe go towards paying your loan.

If you are interested in pledging a shopping ban then -

Things that are banned:

• Clothes (all kinds!)

Shoes

Accessories/Jewelry

Bags/Purses/Clutches

Cosmetics

Electronics/Gadgets and anything that is unnecessary

Things that are allowed:

• Food
  


• Water
  


• Home Supplies
  


• Medicines
  


• Toiletries (shampoo, soap, etc.)
  

Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger, Top: J Crew Factory, Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Ban...

Every other year I impose a shopping ban on myself. So I do not shop for even a hairpin in that year (I am obviously not talking about the essentials - such as groceries). The max I have gone with the ban is 3 years straight. I must tell you it is quite challenging because there are temptations all around us. I get to try out many combinations in the ban periods and use everything that I have.

So why the ban? Because I cannot help but cringe over the materialistic world we have formed around us. We are all dwelling in excess. Believing in retail therapy more than believing in ourselves. Why do we feel we need to shop to feel happy? We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. I am just trying NOT to be that person.

I have always been a big believer in savings. If you give me money, chances are I will straight away put it into my savings, planning for real estate investments. I didn't buy anything in 2018, and 2019 is a ban year too. Anyone interested in trying out the ban?

Shoes: Nine West, Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Ann Taylor, Sweater: J Crew Factory

Why do I blog?

I feel one is not required to save the world with their creativity. Also your art doesn't need to be original or important.

I did not create this blog for you - the reader, I did not think 'oh this blog will help people get style ideas', Nope! That wasn't the first thought. I created this blog for me, for my own pleasure because I enjoy styling, taking pictures, editing them, writing posts, it is all enjoyable for me, I do my best considering my time constraints.

If you enjoy what you see and read here then that would definitely make me happy. If you say you got a few ideas because of the pictures then that would make me happy too, and if you say you don't like it and it is useless, even then I will keep posting. Because at the end of the day one must do what they do because they like doing it!

Sweater: Modcloth, Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Nine West

Girl Code

Never hate a woman you have never met.

Never date a friend's ex. Unless you don't want her as your friend.

Never reveal another female's secret.

Never leave an inebriated friend alone at a bar.

Never invite a friend's enemy to the party. You gotta stay together to survive the war :-).  

Never dine alone with a friend's boyfriend or husband. Unless she is dead.  

Never stay quiet when a friend is falling for an asshole. You will be cleaning the mess later anyways.  

Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man or never trust a girlfriend who is having an extra-marital affair. There are simply no excuses.  

Never give constructive criticism in public. Give it to her in person.  And most importantly -

Never treat other women disrespectfully. It gives men ideas.

5 combos from 2016 that did not make it to the blog at that time - 

J. Krishnamurti

If you have beliefs then what do you have the intellect for?

I love the talks by philosopher, speaker, and writer J. Krishnamurti.  Recently when talking to a relative I learned that my great grandfather had a camaraderie with J. Krishnamurti, I found it quite fascinating and I wondered if my fondness for J. K. is genetic ;-)

Here is the link to one of my favorite talk by him - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYjYL448-yY

 

Shoes: Vaneli, Jeans: American Eagle, Tee: Nordstrom Rack, Jacket: American Eagle

Won't allow

“Everyone who passed through my life has always left something of theirs in me. The memory of a smile, a gesture, a laugh, a word, a kiss. If they hadn’t left anything, it would be because they didn’t exist. Even those who disrespected or hurt me left something in my heart. If anything, they reminded me of what I won’t allow to exist in my life anymore.”

- José Micard Teixeira

Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Vaneli, Turtleneck: Banana Republic, Vegan Leather Jacket: Blank NYC

Gut Health

All disease begins in the gut, and all diseases must be addressed by improving gut health.

2 combos:

Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Steve Madden

Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Stressed out -

There are a few things that stress me out -

1. Watching movies in the theater - I watch a lot of them but at home, at my pace and also while parallel tasking. I watch movies like one would watch a TV show, 25-30 minutes a day. Watching them in theater means I have to watch the whole movie in one go, that stresses me out. If I don’t like the first 20 minutes of the film I leave the movie hall.


2. Going to Salon - I do almost all beauty related things at home - there is no commute time involved, no small talk with the beautician and I can do something in parallel like catch up on TV shows, while I have a face mask on, or I can clean the closet!


3. People - Being around people who I don’t get a good vibe from stresses me out. I try to avoid them because at that time I can be around someone or something that I like. Also if I get an inkling that someone doesn’t like me or is trying to avoid me then I do not impose myself on them, instead, I will be around someone who likes me or is trying to reach out or keep in touch with me. I do not feel obligated to hang out with people because I am related to them or because I have known them forever. People grow up and most likely grow apart, and it’s okay to let it go than to hold on to something that is not adding any value but just drama and stress to our lives.


4. Shopping - Yes! shopping stresses me out. I can go without shopping for years, the max I have stayed without shopping is 3 years straight. I am elated that I am able to use my creativity to create a new outfit every day from my existing wardrobe, without having to go through the torture of browsing through stuff, trying stuff, not-fitting into stuff and so on.

3 combos with white top - 

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

My eating-mantras

• A good diet is the one that you can follow for the rest of your life


• A good meal is which leaves you satisfied and at the same time makes you feel light


• Fast Food = Fast & Permanent calories!


• Eating or shopping can not be a hobby!
  
  2 combos:
  
  
  

Skirt: Ann Taylor factory

Tights: Target

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Top: Charter's club

Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Shoes: Blondo

Shirt: Banana Republic

Sweater: Modcloth

Jeans: American Eagle

Don’t Talk To Me About Your Past

“Please, don’t talk to me about your past. I don’t care who you were or what you did. I don’t want to know who you slept with or who you loved. I don’t need to know who hurt you or disrespected you. Please, don’t tell me about your mistakes or who almost died for your love. I don’t want to know the words you didn’t say out of fear or the ones you said out of anger. I don’t need to know about the gifts that were given to you or the ones that remind you of certain places or people. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to know anything about you. I just want to know you with me. As a matter of fact, I just want you to tell me what it all means to you without telling me the reasons why. Please, don’t show me who you were, but who you are. I want you to create yourself, liberate, love, laugh, expose and be with me who you’ve always wanted to be because only then, I’ll be able to show you who I am instead of who I was and what I did.”

- José Micard Teixeira

Dress: Promod, India Also worn here

Tights: Target,

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Sweater: J crew Factory

Top: American Eagle

Jeans: American Eagle

Sweater: J crew factory

Shoes: Vaneli

Happiness...

Never have I seen so many young, privileged, people trying so hard to be happy. There are countless articles written about it, blogs named for it, workshops attending to it. Whoever said we’re supposed to be happy all the time, anyway? We’re not. And the pressure to do so might be what’s making us unhappy, to begin with. It’s OK if you’re not completely content with your life twenty-four hours a day. Can you imagine what a boring person you’d be if you were? Going through shit storms, feeling uninspired, hating the way you look and having guilt over not accomplishing enough are just some of the things that make you interesting, relatable and human. Not to mention, if you’re reading this, then you have internet access and if you have internet access, it stands to reason that you have a computer, which makes me think you probably have a place to live, with electricity and plenty of food to eat and clean clothes to wear, which are all things that an enormous amount of people living on the planet today do not have. This is not to say that people shouldn’t strive to better their positions in life, however, it seems like so many of us are no longer content with a regular amount of happy, yet dead-set on being maniacally jubilant, all of the time.

- Kelly Rheel

Dress: Anthropologie

Shoes: Me too

What the health: part 17 - how to stay healthy continued ...

This is part 17 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13, part14, part15, part16

3. sleep (2)

Sleep is the brain’s nutrition. Most people need between 7 and 9 hours each night. Insufficient sleep impacts your hunger and fullness hormones, including two called ghrelin and leptin.

Ghrelin signals your brain that it is time to eat. When you’re sleep-deprived, your body makes more ghrelin.

Leptin, on the other hand, cues your brain to put the fork down. When you are not getting enough sleep, leptin levels plummet, signaling your brain to eat more food.

Put the two together, and it is no wonder that sleep deprivation leads to overeating and extra pounds.

Then there’s the cortisol spike that comes from too little sleep. This stress hormone signals your body to conserve energy to fuel your waking hours that means you are more apt to hang on to fat.

Sleep deprivation makes you ‘metabolically groggy’ that means - your body’s ability to process insulin - a hormone needed to change sugar, starches, and other food into energy - goes awry. When your body doesn't respond properly to insulin, your body has trouble processing fats from your bloodstream, so it ends up storing them as fat.

So it’s not so much that if you sleep, you’ll lose weight, but that too little sleep hampers your metabolism and contributes to weight gain.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Top: J crew factory

Shoes: Steve Madden

What the health! Part 15 - How to lose weight and stay healthycontinued...

This is part 15 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13, part14

Diet (4)

9. And last but not the least Alcohol - Call me uncool if you had like, I really don't care - but DO NOT drink alcohol (I know it is for some reason considered a status symbol these days), some people drink wine every day saying it is good for the heart, it sounds ridiculous- there are so many better options for the heart like running for example - opt them and not wine.

Alcohol affects the acid levels in the body, it affects the quality of sleep, it can cause many health conditions like heart ailments, it affects the liver and pancreas, it also increases the risk of cancer (throat, mouth, esophagus, breast, and liver). Cocktails and hard liquor are loaded with unwanted calories that you just wanna avoid piling on.

I am high on life and I don’t understand those who are dependent on alcohol to do that job and those who drink do not understand how can one be high on life… some people come under social pressures and drink to give the company, I don’t do that (not anymore). I have been asked many times at parties that if I don't drink alcohol or carbonated beverages then what do I drink. Stupid question. I drink many things - tea, coconut water, lime juice, freshly squeezed orange juice, turmeric milk, buttermilk, and mostly water!

I am not a fun bob (someone who needs to be inebriated to have fun, loose inhibitions or enjoy life). I enjoy life even when things are painful or not going so smoothly. Accept that hardship is part of life. Pain, sickness, and sadness is as much a feeling as healthy and happy - embrace it, sooner the better - it is useless to be afraid of the existence of unhappy feelings and to forget it getting numb (and dumb) under the influence of alcohol/drugs.

Food and water are an important part of a balanced diet, yes, we are what we eat…. and drink.

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Shoes: Steve Madden

Stripes Tee: TjMaxx

Jacket: J Crew

What the health: Part 4 - Some more lame excuses -

This is part 4 of 'What the health' series, you can find earlier parts here - part1, part2, part3

Yes! I am determined to cover all lame excuses I have heard (or have used myself)

7. Diets make me hungry.

If your diet is making you hungry, it's not a good diet or even sustainable in the long term. Don't go for any fancy (or trending) diet plans, fancier the name of the diet the crappier that it is - our body needs everything - carbs, proteins, and whatnot - all in moderation, don't cut back on anything. Do watch your portion size and eat healthy, simple food - healthy does NOT mean just organic or raw food.

8. Exercise makes me too tired.

No kidding! That is why they call it a workout! Jokes aside, exercise generates energy. The more energy you have, the more you will get done every day.

I generally workout in the morning but if for some reason I don't, and have to work out in the evening, that is after a long day at work - then I do not feel like moving even a limb. But I still put on my shoes and do what I am supposed to, 5 minutes through the workout I start feeling charged.

You recharge your body through food, sleep, and exercise. Movement creates energy. It gets your heart pumping, blood pumping, cleans out toxins, and gets your engine started. Exercise helps you lose weight, makes your skin glow and gets confidence levels up so you feel better about yourself.

9. I always gain back the weight.

When I decided to lose weight and make changes to my lifestyle there were months in a row I didn't lose even a single pound and there were some months when I put on weight instead of losing. Losing weight isn't a crash course, if you don't see instant results then don't give up, there needs to be patience and most of all continuity (for life).

I told someone to try yoga, she came back to me and said ‘I tried it for 3 whole weeks and didn’t lose even a pound’. Isn’t 3 weeks too less? considering you have taken years to ruin your body?… give it time… Rome wasn't built in one day ... it would be a long journey but it would be worth it. Don't do it to be thin, do it for a better quality of life.

One needs to change their lifestyle for good to lose weight otherwise if you resume unhealthy ways once losing weight then obviously you will be putting on the weight again.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Shoes: Me too

Shirt: J crew Factory

Innerwear!

Buy yourself some decent innerwear. Victoria Secrets is overrated and overpriced, have you tried Soma Intimates yet?

I personally do not like transparent tops/skirts/dresses so I use slips, slips are not for grannies - they will make your clothes flow. Here are some good options - camisole, slip, skirt slip.

Replace your innerwear if it doesn't fit you, has holes, has lost elasticity, they are uncomfortable or don't have the same shape and honestly just replace it if you have used it for more than a year.

Shoes: Blondo

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Top: Loft

Sweater: J crew factory

Out Of Circle

I do not like camisole kind of tops, I am sure when you dress up you have your own reservations based on your likes/ body types and what-not. Every person draws a circle around themselves and thinks whatever happens inside that circle is right and whatever is out of the circle is unacceptable, so similarly camisoles, low necklines are out of my circle. A lot of women have a problem with wearing shorts, which fits comfortably well in my circle :)

Anyway, I couldn't resist myself when I saw this camisole at the old navy...

Shorts: American Eagle Outfitters factory store

Top: Old Navy (4-5 years old)

Sandals: Aldo

Sunglasses: Gucci

The author at work

Top : J crew factory

Sweater : J crew factory

Jeans : 7 for all mankind

Shoes : Steve Madden 

My new post 'The author at work' is now available HERE

Mint Denims

I love mint-colored denim, the ones that I have are light mint, I feel darker shades look the best.

Denim - J crew

Top - Michael Kors

Shoes - DSW