Women: 3. The Martyr

This is the third part in the series. Earlier parts - Part 1. Part 2.

The Martyr

The Martyr - a woman who thinks people are judging them based on how good a wife/ mother/ daughter/ daughter-in-law/ sister-in-law she is and she cares about the opinions and then tries to be a perfectionist, treats the man of the house as the 'man of the house' who is never asked to (or given an ultimatum to) share his share of responsibilities, she tries to show that she is the best daughter-in-law, mother, and whatnot and then juggles everything and kills herself in the process. 

I am sorry, I have to say this - I pity all those women who take pride in doing a job, taking care of kids, keeping the house spotless, cooking - all on their own.

I respect women who get help, 'ask' men to take care of their share of chores, men have two hands and brains so I bet they can manage to do the dishes, laundry, cooking, and whatnot, it is not rocket science after all.

From what I hear there are crazy men out there who deny to own their share or laugh at men who they see cleaning dishes, I couldn't/wouldn't have survived with such an idiot, I don't know how women do that. But again, being financially independent gives you the flexibility, if you do not want to spend your life with such an idiot then you will always have a choice.

I respect women who do not take pride in sacrificing their dreams and aspirations or do not feel guilty in asking for sharing equal responsibilities.

I would say quit trying to be perfect, it is never going to happen.  As long as you are being yourself and trying your best, it is enough, you do not need to suffice to the expectations defined for the gender role (gender roles are history). Just like all the men in your life, you too have one life and at the end of this, there is no award for being perfect. There is, however, the satisfaction of having lived your life to the fullest, if you accept that you are flawed, just like everyone else and that there is nothing wrong with asking for the fair deal of sharing half responsibilities and speaking up that you will not suffice to gender roles.

To be continued...

Dress: Ann Taylor, Tights: Target, Shoes: Ellen Tracy, Jacket: J crew

Dress also worn here

Health

I was fat, unhealthy and unfit. When I saw myself in the mirror or in photos, I cringed. How did I let myself go? I was low on energy/ stamina, catching something or the other in a loop. One day I felt ‘enough is enough, I need to take control of my health and not let my health control me’. Human bodies are magical, if you put your mind to it, it isn’t hard to achieve health.

I am not the top of the game as I write this, but I have come a long way. I have come down from 179 pounds to 132, from feeling sick and lethargic every day to a lot better. I feel healthier, fitter, slimmer and lighter than before. Physical health also improves ones' mental health (it goes the other way round too).

I did not run marathons nor did I starve myself. I just incorporated regularity in my exercise schedule and a personal pledge to eat right.

It would be nice if more and more people exercised, did some sort of work out. You don't have to make it to a triathlon or become a weightlifter. Do whatever you like. But exercise.

Recently I read an article that fitness and health are two different things, fitness indicates athletic qualities, people who can play a sport for 4-5 hours every day are fit but might be popping a hundred pills a day of various kind, fit people are not necessarily healthy - physically and mentally, what I strive and work for is health.

The feeling of health is one that cannot be matched. It is only after you start working out, that you realize how underutilized the human body is. On the first day, you might feel devastated to realize that your magnificent looking or feeling body is actually not capable of lifting even five pounds. But after a few days of training, you will be amazed at how the body does exactly the same things with absolute ease. And such a realization is a triumph.

If you have made your way towards signifying and prioritizing exercise in the routine then you are building a healthier future. You will see the prominent effects of exercising, your body will be beautiful from within. A beautiful heart, beautiful lungs, an absolutely stunning vascular system! And although your hair will grey and skin will wrinkle, your smile will be free of worries and your life - free of disease!

Skirt: J crew factory, Tights: Target, Shoes: Ellen Tracy, Top: Ann Taylor, Jacket: don't remember

Happy Memories

Every time I go back home (in India, yes, that is still home for me), unconsciously or consciously I am looking for my childhood and to relive those old carefree days! A doted upon, spoilt brat with not a care in the world!  But now I have made peace with the fact that life is forever in continuous motion. I cannot bring back the days that have passed. But I can smile and relive them in my heart and be thankful that my life is filled with happy memories. 

Reliable

I appreciate a lot of different things in people, one of them is - Reliability.

I feel we need to stand by our promise/commitment. We are as good as our word. And just in case if we are not able to then, we need to inform concerned parties about the change in plans beforehand.  It is good to be considerate and also take accountability for our word. If you ask someone to meet with you at a certain time/day then it is a good habit to make a note of it in your calendar immediately, we can not tell them last minute 'oh you are waiting for me? but I left for shopping'.

I feel it is okay to say NO.  Also for the receiving party, it is easier to hear 'no' than to go through the disappointment and frustration that we will bestow upon them by saying 'yes' and then not showing up. 

Dress: Banana Republic, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Ellen Tracy, Tights: Target

Some random thoughts...

• Listen to everyone, but do only what your head says


• Learn to say No! It doesn't make you a bad person


• Pull yourself up than pulling others down


• Never feel guilty of being happy!

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Tights: target

Dress: Mark and Spencer

Sweater: j crew factory

Laws of physics

There are laws of physics and everything else is someone’s opinion.

Photo1 - Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shirt: J crew factory, Shoes: DSW

Photo2 - Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shirt: American Eagle, Shoes: Ellen Tracy

My eating-mantras

• A good diet is the one that you can follow for the rest of your life


• A good meal is which leaves you satisfied and at the same time makes you feel light


• Fast Food = Fast & Permanent calories!


• Eating or shopping can not be a hobby!
  
  2 combos:
  
  
  

Skirt: Ann Taylor factory

Tights: Target

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Top: Charter's club

Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Shoes: Blondo

Shirt: Banana Republic

Sweater: Modcloth

Jeans: American Eagle

Happy New Year

May your coming year be filled with magic, dreams, health and madness. I hope you read some good books and hang out with people who think you are wonderful, shed those last few pounds, work on being healthy - physically and mentally, don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or cook or create something or learn an instrument or a new language or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. Happy New Year.

2 combos:

Photo 1: Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Scarf: Target, Shoes: Nine West

Photo 2: Skirt: Ann Taylor Factory

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Tights: Target

Top: Ann Taylor

Animal print + White

Animal prints look great with whites. The denim that I have is off-white in color, I do want to buy white jeans this year, something like this.

Here are the three ways I wore animal print top + off-white denim jeans -

Denim - American Eagle

Top - Ann Taylor

Shoes 1 & 3- Ellen Tracy, Shoes 2: Steve Madden

Olive Jacket - Gap

Black Sweater - J crew

Twenties Girl

My new post 'Twenties Girl' is available here

Skirt: J crew Factory

Turtleneck: Banana Republic

Scarf: Forever21

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Little Black Dress

I have this dress since a long time but I hardly ever used it until I started some  experimentation. In the next few months I will be adding some combinations that can put this kind of a dress to some regular use. Do all girls have a little black dress?

Dress: Ann Taylor

Tights: Hue

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Fit Bods

Fit body  is the most precious thing one can have and unfortunately money can’t buy it but hard work and self control can.

Dress: Mark & Spencer

Shoes: Ellen Tracy