Life Choices

I am pretty darn happy with all my life choices. I like where the path has led me with the decisions that I have made.

One and the only reason why I am at peace with my choices is that I NEVER compare my life to anyone else's. My life is my own. I am here due to 'the family I was born in, the country I was born in, the personality I was born with, and then what I did with all of the variables that life offered me. No two people have the same starting point. Not even twins. So the question of comparing and resenting doesn't arise.

 If one is set out on the path of comparing and resenting about the starting points that life gave them then there is no end to it. I could have sat in a corner each day and wondered why was I born in a village, not a city, why did I have to do my early schooling in schools with no walls, why not those huge posh convents, why didn't my father have any money to send me to good schools and why wasn't I born to Amitabh Bachchan instead. You see what I am saying... there is no end to it. All I need to do is compare myself ... with me... the past me.

I need to see my start point and compare it with the current me and ask myself do I see growth?

As long as I am actively choosing growth -  physical, mental, intellectual, spiritual and emotional in every moment and learning from every mistake, I count that as a successful life choice.

All I would say is there is nothing positive about envying anyone. Everyone has their own path. Do what makes you happy. Everyday. Choose the path of growth and rest will follow.

Matters of the Food

1. Chew your food: eat and not swallow your food. The more you chew, the more satisfied you would be by the end of your meal. It also helps in digestion and absorption of nutrients.

2. Serve smaller portions. Eat often but lesser portions. Eat every 2 hours.

3. Eat Fruits, Nuts, and Veggies. 

4. Fill your kitchen with healthy snacks. I don't keep any chips/soda/chocolates and such at home to avoid temptation.

5. Learn to say No! - My mother has a rule - finish whatever is served on the plate, which I followed for many years. Now, if I am full I put the leftover in the fridge. I have learned to say No. To myself and to others too. Once you are full, you are full, no matter what...and that is the only rule one should follow.

Idiot Box: Part 8

You can see the earlier parts here - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Black Mirror

More seasons of Black Mirror are out and it is at its best, it provokes discussion, though often less about technological developments and more about the fallibility of human nature. 5/5.

Stranger Things

'Stranger things' is definitely the best Netflix original. There are only 8 episodes in each season, it has a terrific sense of mystery, the nostalgia of the 80s is glorious, the casting is superb, humor and thriller is mind-boggling. 5/5.

Dark

Originally a German series that you can watch with English subtitles. There are a lot of characters to keep track of in this show, which is one of the key challenges in the initial episodes, it inevitably sucks you in regardless. Dark is a mystery-box show through and through, complete with secrets and surprising twists and cliffhangers that put a cap on each episode while enticing you to immediately open the bottle of the next one. But at the same time it is a complicated story, just hang in there for the first few episodes and everything will start to make sense. 5/5.

Death in paradise

As with many cop procedurals, there's an element of 'comfort food' about Death in Paradise. You know what you're going to get: the murder, the impossibility, the dogged legwork by the police officers, and then – usually just as it seems the case is uncrackable – the Detective Inspector sees or hears something that sparks a synapse or two… and he knows who did it. Gathering all the suspects in the best way, he explains it all. Chances are pretty good that if you're concentrating, you can get there ahead of the team – the way the murders are filmed nearly always contains some important clue – but even if you're half-asleep, you're led by the hand through the evidence. 4/5.

Planet Earth

This is a must-watch show. Filmed on animals, jungles, rainforests, deserts, and pole to pole, it just makes one realize how beautiful planet earth is and how we are destroying it (I feel Earth will survive no matter what we do, but in the process, it will destroy us, so it is wrong when people say we are destroying Earth, Earth is quite strong and robust to be destroyed, all we are doing is destroying ourselves). 5/5.

 

Freedom

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me.”

-Paulo Coelho.

Random Thoughts

happiness over wealth.

health over comfort.

nutrition over taste.

live in today.

make peace with the past.

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: J Jill, Sandals Etienne Aigner

Fashion 1 0 1 : Part 12

1. Look for better alternatives. I buy only a few items every year from decent brands, I know their fabric is good quality - and I prefer to buy at brands who have ethical rules and regulations - you can check it on their websites if they follow an ethical process. People who can - should look for alternatives - look for tailors in your area, or local boutiques who you know are doing ethical business.

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Anthropologie, Shoes: Nine West, Sweater: J Crew Factory

Fashion 1 0 1 : Part 8

BT cotton is cotton in which a gene has been added from a bacteria to produce a toxin - this patent is owned by a big company (Monsanto) and a poor farmer has to go to the company to buy seeds, these seeds are extremely expensive. The pesticides that are used to produce the cotton for our clothes is spoiling the soil. Use of fertilizers pesticides increases toxicity in the region where cotton is grown, it causes cancer, birth defects and many such illnesses. There are also weaving mills, dyers (Chemicals are used to dye) and tanneries polluting earth and water and also making people working on them and living close to them sick because of the proximity of all the toxic materials. Clothes are not biodegradable that means if you throw them they will sit on the land for many years.

I express my grief over many things like (a) people don’t work out, eat junk, parents feed their kids restaurant food/ processed/unhealthy food every other day (b) animals are killed for food and for making leather for humans (c) many do not know even the basics of gender equality (d) clothing industry is treating the laborers/ environment poorly - people tell me not to think about it - enjoy your day, why do you have to think about all this they say.

But I believe we should care. Let’s not merely, just exist. Let’s live a conscious life. If we are talking about long term sustainability and well-being on this planet then the industry will have to change and also ‘we’ have to change.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Guess, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Converse

Fashion 1 0 1: Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

There are many people who have a budget set (say 100$ per week) to buy clothes/ shoes/ purses/ accessories. Do you know the average number of clothes bought every year by Americans? It is 65+ per year - not per family but per person (I think the East is catching up too).

The point I am trying to make is - we buy too much.

To be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shoes: Dr. Scholls, Shirt: JCrew Factory, Jacket: J crew

Book Reviews. 2017. 1

This series covers reviews of books that I read in 2017. Keeping the reviews short.

1. The Husband's Secret - Liane Moriarty

Loved this thriller. Moriarty's writing style is quite engaging. 4/5

2. Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Creation - Michio Kaku

Michio Kaku is not only gifted in his abilities as a physicists (he is co-founder of string field theory, has written textbooks, articles, novels, etc. in the field of physics and popular science), but he makes the difficult and convoluted subject of quantum mechanics and classical mechanics accessible and entertaining for the everyday person. I love all his books. 5/5

3. The Code of the Woosters - P.G. Wodehouse

A classic piece of Wodehouse silliness, involving Bertie Wooster, his formidable Aunt Dahlia and (of course) Jeeves in a scheme to steal an 18th century cow-creamer during a weekend party at an English country house. Super funny as usual. 5/5

4. Carry on Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse

Reading Wodehouse is always a pleasant experience, which always fills the reader with much gaiety & happiness. Loved the book. 5/5.

5. Thank you, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse

Jeeves and Wooster break up after Jeeves lays down an ultimatum and Bertie chooses his banjolele over his manservant. Hilarity ensues. 5/5.

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shoes: Vaneli, Top: J crew factory, Scarf: J crew factory, Jacket: J crew

Four ways I wore this combo

Angela's Ashes

A man dies leaving 9 kids for his wife to take care of, there isn't much money left for them to survive. There is poverty, no food, hardly any clothes to wear, one kid dies because of malnutrition, the wife is devastated. I did not tell you the story of the book, that is the story of my grandmother. We all have heard a similar story, from someone or the other. But here is the thing, my grandmother (Maai as we called her) was no Angela. She took control of the situation, worked in people's houses as a maid, every kid did a little bit something to provide for the family - sewing, cooking, my father worked as a typist.

Here is my problem with Angela's Ashes, I can not identify with people who sit in a corner and blame their horoscope, parents, siblings, government for the troubles they go through. I identify with Maai, the strong characters, who do not complain or whine, they take charge, they take action. And so I disliked the character, Angela, in this book. I like stories of fighters, I identify with them. (But the truth of the matter is we all have been an Angela sometime or the other and many Angelas exist around us).

I started reading this book because everyone I talk to books about has read it, I kept reading it thinking Angela will spring into action now. But 500 pages is quite a wait.

This is a heart-wrenching story of hungry kids and the reason why it works is that the way it is told, it is quite light and bright and unique, I had a smile all throughout the book, no wonder it won the Pulitzer Prize. From what I gather it is not fiction but a memoir.

My rating is 3/5.

Shoes: Vaneli, Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Ann Taylor

Style blogging...

Most fashion bloggers are “influencers”, they are people who have the ability to influence you to spend your hard-earned money on stuff they just get for free!

Someone asked me if I have the pressure to continuously buy new things in order to be relevant in style blogging, my answer is no, I don’t. First of all, what I have is not a fashion/ new trends and style kind of a blog, this is a personal style blog, this is how I dressed and according to fashion and latest style standards, it could be completely outdated. I wouldn't know, fashion/ what's in and out changes every day and I do not want to track it. I do not propagate unnecessary spending on anything. I do not shop much, I do not follow trends, I do not talk about ‘sales’, because I myself never keep track of or buy at them. I urge people to invest in quality over quantity.

I am not dressing up for the blog, I am not here to show how much stuff I have, I am here to show how much can be done with however little that one has. I create a new outfit every day with just the same stuff that I already have.

I do not want my readers to come to my blog and feel they don't have things, I do not want them to be discontent with their current closet, I do not want them to go out there and buy what I am wearing, I do not want them to even copy my style or outfits.

I want my readers to visit my blog and get excited about getting dressed well. I want them to see their existing wardrobe with new energy. I want them to think before they shop. I want them to create a wardrobe that represents THEIR personal style. Having a lot of clothes or having what’s in the trend or walking in ladder-like high heels does NOT make you look stylish but feeling comfortable and confident in what you are wearing does. (and as I have said this before - fit body trumps jewelry, clothes, shoes, accessories, makeup, hairdos and all that)

2 combos:

Jeans: American Eagle

Shirt: American Eagle

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Ecosystem

Our ecosystem relies on a self-regulating balance of predators and prey. This system worked well with humans and their prey until we began inhumane farming practices that compromise the well-being of animals, the health of humans and the health of our planet. If you eat nonveg then opt for organic meat - the key requirements of organic meat are -

• Animals should be raised organically on certified organic land


• they must be fed certified organic feed


• No antibiotics or added growth hormones are allowed and


• All animals have outdoor access

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shoes: Vaneli, Top: Ann Taylor, Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Laws of physics

There are laws of physics and everything else is someone’s opinion.

Photo1 - Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shirt: J crew factory, Shoes: DSW

Photo2 - Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shirt: American Eagle, Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Not my concern

Some people want people they like, to get along with each other, they take measures to make sure that everyone they hang out with like each other back. For example, your friend might want you to get along well with her husband and kids, or your partner would like it if you got along with her family, your family would prefer it if you got along with all your relatives, your relatives would be elated if you got along with all their relatives, maybe that's bit of a stretch but you get the gist.

I understand that it can be very stressful mentally to be spending time with people you don't get along with - simply in the name of the association.

I am totally fine if two people I am extremely fond of, are not fond of each other much. The least I expect from people, in general, is to be civil and well-mannered no matter who they are and whom they like (or not). I have no need for my girlfriend to get along perfectly well with another girlfriend, or every family member to get along with every other family member, so on and so forth. It is great if they do, but if they don't it doesn't bother me.

It also does not bother me if someone I am fond of is hanging out with someone I don't get along with. I really don't care to indulge in anyone's personal dynamics with each other. I like giving people their space and letting them make their own choices about who they want in their lives and/or don't my wavelength matching or not matching with someone does not imply it will for you. I do not think to have me as a common link should be a punishment for anyone. The only relationship they need to care about is with me. Anything else is not necessarily my concern.

Jeans: Abercrombie and fitch, Belt: target, Top: Charter's Club

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Charters's club, Shoes: Nine West

Stressed out -

There are a few things that stress me out -

1. Watching movies in the theater - I watch a lot of them but at home, at my pace and also while parallel tasking. I watch movies like one would watch a TV show, 25-30 minutes a day. Watching them in theater means I have to watch the whole movie in one go, that stresses me out. If I don’t like the first 20 minutes of the film I leave the movie hall.


2. Going to Salon - I do almost all beauty related things at home - there is no commute time involved, no small talk with the beautician and I can do something in parallel like catch up on TV shows, while I have a face mask on, or I can clean the closet!


3. People - Being around people who I don’t get a good vibe from stresses me out. I try to avoid them because at that time I can be around someone or something that I like. Also if I get an inkling that someone doesn’t like me or is trying to avoid me then I do not impose myself on them, instead, I will be around someone who likes me or is trying to reach out or keep in touch with me. I do not feel obligated to hang out with people because I am related to them or because I have known them forever. People grow up and most likely grow apart, and it’s okay to let it go than to hold on to something that is not adding any value but just drama and stress to our lives.


4. Shopping - Yes! shopping stresses me out. I can go without shopping for years, the max I have stayed without shopping is 3 years straight. I am elated that I am able to use my creativity to create a new outfit every day from my existing wardrobe, without having to go through the torture of browsing through stuff, trying stuff, not-fitting into stuff and so on.

3 combos with white top - 

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Keep that phone away

I hate it when you are having a conversation with someone and he/she is not even looking at you. This is however in a social scenario, I cannot even imagine this behavior in the professional world and business meetings. When you take out your phone during a conversation with someone it shows :

• Lack of respect. You consider the information on your phone to be more important than the conversation at hand, and you view people outside of the meeting to be more important than those sitting right in front of you.


• Lack of attention. You are unable to stay focused on one thing at a time.


• Lack of listening. You aren’t practicing active listening, so no one around you feels heard.


• Lack of power. You are like a modern-day Pavlovian dog who responds to the whims of others through the buzz of your phone.


• Lack of self-awareness: You don't understand how ridiculous your behavior looks to other people.


• Lack of social awareness: You don't understand how your behavior affects those around you.

Shoes: Steve Madden

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Top: J crew

Sweater: J crew factory

Jeans: American Eagle

Shirt: J crew Factory

Jacket: Gap

Shoes: Dsw

What the health: Part 19 - how to stay healthy continued..

This is part 19 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13, part14, part15, part16, part 17, part18

4. Mental health - 

Last but not least is mental health! We are all living a stressful, busy life today, there is no denying or running away from it. Stress affects our physical well being, it can create anxiety, panic attacks, heart palpitations, heart problems, depression, high blood pressure, and whatnot. One is unable to enjoy anything happening around if not mentally happy or stressed. Our body releases a hormone called cortisol when under stress, and high levels of cortisol creates havoc in our system.

We need some peace and quiet, time for ourselves to do something that helps us release the stress -  exercise, yoga, good diet and sleep play a big role in maintaining good mental health and there is more-

1. Have a hobby - read, write, paint, do gardening, cook, it doesn't matter what your hobby is - the important thing is you have one (I would not encourage TV and such as a hobby, creation gives long-lasting happiness and stress release than consumption does). 

The same thing goes for kids - send them to classes, teach them different things - let them build hobbies! They won't do it if you tell them to go and paint or go exercise because... they are watching you! Are my parents engrossed in binge-watching tv shows all day long/ spending time on social media or they are living an active lifestyle? Are they creating or consuming? As they say 'Raise yourself before you raise your kids'.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Top: J crew factory

Sweater: J crew factory

Shoes: Lifestride

What the health: part 17 - how to stay healthy continued ...

This is part 17 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13, part14, part15, part16

3. sleep (2)

Sleep is the brain’s nutrition. Most people need between 7 and 9 hours each night. Insufficient sleep impacts your hunger and fullness hormones, including two called ghrelin and leptin.

Ghrelin signals your brain that it is time to eat. When you’re sleep-deprived, your body makes more ghrelin.

Leptin, on the other hand, cues your brain to put the fork down. When you are not getting enough sleep, leptin levels plummet, signaling your brain to eat more food.

Put the two together, and it is no wonder that sleep deprivation leads to overeating and extra pounds.

Then there’s the cortisol spike that comes from too little sleep. This stress hormone signals your body to conserve energy to fuel your waking hours that means you are more apt to hang on to fat.

Sleep deprivation makes you ‘metabolically groggy’ that means - your body’s ability to process insulin - a hormone needed to change sugar, starches, and other food into energy - goes awry. When your body doesn't respond properly to insulin, your body has trouble processing fats from your bloodstream, so it ends up storing them as fat.

So it’s not so much that if you sleep, you’ll lose weight, but that too little sleep hampers your metabolism and contributes to weight gain.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Top: J crew factory

Shoes: Steve Madden

What the health! Part 15 - How to lose weight and stay healthycontinued...

This is part 15 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13, part14

Diet (4)

9. And last but not the least Alcohol - Call me uncool if you had like, I really don't care - but DO NOT drink alcohol (I know it is for some reason considered a status symbol these days), some people drink wine every day saying it is good for the heart, it sounds ridiculous- there are so many better options for the heart like running for example - opt them and not wine.

Alcohol affects the acid levels in the body, it affects the quality of sleep, it can cause many health conditions like heart ailments, it affects the liver and pancreas, it also increases the risk of cancer (throat, mouth, esophagus, breast, and liver). Cocktails and hard liquor are loaded with unwanted calories that you just wanna avoid piling on.

I am high on life and I don’t understand those who are dependent on alcohol to do that job and those who drink do not understand how can one be high on life… some people come under social pressures and drink to give the company, I don’t do that (not anymore). I have been asked many times at parties that if I don't drink alcohol or carbonated beverages then what do I drink. Stupid question. I drink many things - tea, coconut water, lime juice, freshly squeezed orange juice, turmeric milk, buttermilk, and mostly water!

I am not a fun bob (someone who needs to be inebriated to have fun, loose inhibitions or enjoy life). I enjoy life even when things are painful or not going so smoothly. Accept that hardship is part of life. Pain, sickness, and sadness is as much a feeling as healthy and happy - embrace it, sooner the better - it is useless to be afraid of the existence of unhappy feelings and to forget it getting numb (and dumb) under the influence of alcohol/drugs.

Food and water are an important part of a balanced diet, yes, we are what we eat…. and drink.

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Shoes: Steve Madden

Stripes Tee: TjMaxx

Jacket: J Crew

What the health! Part 14 - How to lose weight and stay healthycontinued...

This is part 14 of ‘What the health’ series. You can find earlier parts here – part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9, part 10, part 11, part12, part13

Diet (3)

8. Use of medication - I popped in loads of pills for all my health troubles. As evolved beings, it is our way of dealing with health. Who has the time and patience to decipher the cause of an ailment and make minor changes to bring the body back to equilibrium when it is so much simpler to just pop a pill and banish your symptoms while the disease surreptitiously festers away? I did not want to spend time being sick, who does? So antihistamines, antibiotics, painkillers, sleep medication, cold medications and such were my constant companions. But remember... medicines cause bad side effects, it is as bad as junk food and alcohol. I should have fixed the troubles by taking a step back, by giving my body some rest, and with natural remedies, by fixing my diet, stress levels, routine, sleep pattern, etc., instead I relied on medicines. But the thing that I used to fix my health issues turned out to be the cause of my biggest problems later on. I would say avoid medicines as much as you can. Try herbal medicines (Ayurveda) if you have to.

to be continued...

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch

Sweater: Modcloth

Shoes: Steve Madden