Not real time

My posts are never in real-time (not even this, this is written on 03/26/2018). I write my basic thoughts, then I ponder over them, then I type the post, then I schedule the post for some time in the future. Then the only time I edit the post is when I want to attach the photos were taken, which are not real-time again, they make it to the blog when I copy them from the camera and then edit them (crop, adjust lights, etc), I do not keep track of the date/time the posts will be published.

As I write this post - my blog posts are already scheduled till August 2020, so this post will make it to sometime after that. If I am run over by a bus tomorrow it won't affect the blog - the posts will continue to publish :-).

Irony

The biggest irony about me being a blogger is that - I am a private person in personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with who.

I never was too specific about my life in this space and I never will be. The intention is not to be mysterious or cryptic but because I like to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible), and the same goes for updates on social profiles.

I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions.

I cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends) and they choose to talk about my posts in person with me. Even if it is all compliments (on my face at least). My online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect its contents with anyone in real life.  :-).

Say what you wanna say

Here are my five reasons why I think saying what's on your mind is always the best way to go:

1. Silence is as good as approval. If you disapprove of something but not say anything about it, it is as good as enabling it.

2. People are not mind-readers. While you may think things are obvious, people might not view the world with your perspective.

3. You might not be the only one thinking about it.

4. Speaking your mind can be a huge stress relief. I am incapable of not speaking my mind, I have a great deal of anxiety if for some reason I don't speak. It drives me crazy. It becomes this whole thing which would have not even existed had I just spoken up. Speak up!

5. You would never have to say, “I wish I had said…”

Obviously, there is a way to put forth what you want to say. The above points are not applicable for saying just the disapproved things or just the things that are hurting you but the good things too :-).

Joke...

(Do not want to portray women as stereotypical. I am sharing a joke, take it for what it is)

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother that he has fallen in love and that
he is ready to get married.

He says, "Just for fun,  Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and
guess which  one I'm  going to marry."  The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they all chat for a while. He then  says, "Okay Ma, guess
which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her." 

Do not...

Do not ask your daughters to help in household work while the son sits in front of the television.

Do not tell your daughter she cannot go out past sun-set while the boy is not back home even at dawn.

Do not tell your daughter that learning to cook is more important than making a career. 

Top: Loft, Crop: American Eagle, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Busyness

In your recent interactions with people have you answered the simple question “How are you?” with some variation of  “I’m so busy!” What happened to the good old, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”. Do we somehow think that being “busy” is a symbol of status and importance?

Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; it is our way to tell people that our life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if we are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.

When we say 'I am busy' it sets a wrong tone to the conversation too, because if we are so busy then it creates distance even before one starts the conversation (my opinion), why would anyone want to take our time in small talk if we are so busy.

The truth is that being busy all the time is counterproductive. Our brains need space to think clearly and strategically. If we are caught up in the busy trap then it actually means that we are constantly reacting to tasks, accept whatever the day throws at us, being part of something that we don't even want to do, instead of making purposeful choices about what to do with our time.

We need to stop the glorification of busy and not let the activities/ social events/ tasks choose us, but we choose them. We should make the choice to be less busy and schedule some time to reset, relax and give our mind the space it needs to think creatively, to come up with great ideas and to just rejuvenate. Every time we tell ourselves (or others) that we are too busy, we should stop and think about what we are really saying and think about everything that is cluttering up our calendar and our to-do list and decide to do only what is important. We just might discover the joy of being less busy.

2 combos:

Stripes Dress, Orange Shoes

Dress: J crew, Shoes: Mix No. 6

Orange Shoes

Artist Crop - American Eagle, Top - Ann Taylor, Shoes - Mix No. 6

Stressed out -

There are a few things that stress me out -

1. Watching movies in the theater - I watch a lot of them but at home, at my pace and also while parallel tasking. I watch movies like one would watch a TV show, 25-30 minutes a day. Watching them in theater means I have to watch the whole movie in one go, that stresses me out. If I don’t like the first 20 minutes of the film I leave the movie hall.


2. Going to Salon - I do almost all beauty related things at home - there is no commute time involved, no small talk with the beautician and I can do something in parallel like catch up on TV shows, while I have a face mask on, or I can clean the closet!


3. People - Being around people who I don’t get a good vibe from stresses me out. I try to avoid them because at that time I can be around someone or something that I like. Also if I get an inkling that someone doesn’t like me or is trying to avoid me then I do not impose myself on them, instead, I will be around someone who likes me or is trying to reach out or keep in touch with me. I do not feel obligated to hang out with people because I am related to them or because I have known them forever. People grow up and most likely grow apart, and it’s okay to let it go than to hold on to something that is not adding any value but just drama and stress to our lives.


4. Shopping - Yes! shopping stresses me out. I can go without shopping for years, the max I have stayed without shopping is 3 years straight. I am elated that I am able to use my creativity to create a new outfit every day from my existing wardrobe, without having to go through the torture of browsing through stuff, trying stuff, not-fitting into stuff and so on.

3 combos with white top - 

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Jacket: J crew, Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Minimalism?

Salute to those who claim to be minimalists and ramble 500 pages on minimalism.

Top: UMM

Capri: Gap

Sandals: Tommy Hilfiger (from DSW)

Bracelet: HongKong Lane, Pune