Serenity, courage and wisdom

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

Random Thoughts Again

Have the conviction to do your own thing, make your own path, and have the determination to walk it.

Don't compare yourself to your peers and fall into the rabbit hole of fear of missing out.

Do your best in any given moment and what anyone else does is none-of-your-business.

Be content with the present.

Know your limitations and be at peace with it.

Not real time

My posts are never in real-time (not even this, this is written on 03/26/2018). I write my basic thoughts, then I ponder over them, then I type the post, then I schedule the post for some time in the future. Then the only time I edit the post is when I want to attach the photos were taken, which are not real-time again, they make it to the blog when I copy them from the camera and then edit them (crop, adjust lights, etc), I do not keep track of the date/time the posts will be published.

As I write this post - my blog posts are already scheduled till August 2020, so this post will make it to sometime after that. If I am run over by a bus tomorrow it won't affect the blog - the posts will continue to publish :-).

Natural Beauty

Qualities I believe someone who evokes natural beauty embodies:

1. An appreciation, enthusiasm for life! Easy going, happy go lucky people with an ability to find meaning in a simple, fleeting moment just as easily as they can in a large-scale or life-changing one…

2. A love for real food; which means enjoying your indulgences once in a while but who understand the importance of a balanced diet and quality of food and are disciplined about it.

3. A desire to challenge their mind and body. Expanding one's understanding via books and art or trying a new workout or a yoga pose. Who value physical, cognitive, and emotional growth.

4. An ability to walk out the door, with confidence and ready to conquer the world, every day!

Irony

The biggest irony about me being a blogger is that - I am a private person in personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with who.

I never was too specific about my life in this space and I never will be. The intention is not to be mysterious or cryptic but because I like to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible), and the same goes for updates on social profiles.

I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions.

I cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends) and they choose to talk about my posts in person with me. Even if it is all compliments (on my face at least). My online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect its contents with anyone in real life.  :-).

Discipline

Over the years I have learned that anything is possible for people who are disciplined. Discipline has many complementary traits as well like self-control, determination, and strong will power. Discipline also comes from priority. If you have led a disciplined life for the most parts then you are kind-of on an auto-pilot to lead a 'relatively' healthy and productive life, in present and in future too.

Say what you wanna say

Here are my five reasons why I think saying what's on your mind is always the best way to go:

1. Silence is as good as approval. If you disapprove of something but not say anything about it, it is as good as enabling it.

2. People are not mind-readers. While you may think things are obvious, people might not view the world with your perspective.

3. You might not be the only one thinking about it.

4. Speaking your mind can be a huge stress relief. I am incapable of not speaking my mind, I have a great deal of anxiety if for some reason I don't speak. It drives me crazy. It becomes this whole thing which would have not even existed had I just spoken up. Speak up!

5. You would never have to say, “I wish I had said…”

Obviously, there is a way to put forth what you want to say. The above points are not applicable for saying just the disapproved things or just the things that are hurting you but the good things too :-).

Immortal

What if we were immortal?

Would we have been able to remember the details of our entire life? Would it still have been exciting? For how many days would we enjoy hobbies, jobs, relationships and learning new things? What if there was no end to it? Would life have been a dull experience then?

The stars, planets are the same for thousands of years just their names would keep changing.

Communication would still remain just the language that would change.

'Man from Earth' is the name of the movie. It revolves around 5-6 characters just sitting in a room and chatting. What a wonderful movie! Let me know if you like it.

Celebration of colors

Watercolors - what an unpredictable behavior. When mixed with water and applied on a paper their gait is revolutionized. You can not exactly know where they are going to spread. That is the reason they are most difficult and challenging to paint and providing with a feeling of achievement when completed.

Acrylics - They are glued wherever applied. They have a straightforward attitude and look really rich.

Oil colors - thick, beautiful and attractive. They do not dry for days. I find them adjusting because I can modify them until they dry and also keep on adding layers on them when they dry.

Charcoal colors - They look rustic. They go with rudimentary drawings. These smooth colors which bestow rough texture snub to mix with other charcoal colors. They express their anguish on the paper if tried to mix.

Every painting technique has a uniqueness and similarly, every color has its own individuality. Every color has some comrades and a few foes. When the friends are juxtaposed they make each other appear charming. When two enemies are put side by side they don't just make their own manifestation dull but also spoil the appearance of the other.

For a painting to look pleasant it is important for the friends to be next to each other. A painting doesn't look delightful if it is ruled by just one color. Every showpiece loses it's own identity if the room is occupied by several other showpieces with the same color. Faint yellow sandals would look smart if you are wearing a sky blue dress, both will then have their own intrepid, bold guise.

Think about people, are they just black and white? They have different colors and shades of those colors in them. Those colors and their shades are revealed based on the situations, sometimes dark sometimes faint.

Life is a celebration of colors. It is as vibrant as any colorful painting. There are white dull moments and so we enjoy the blue serene instances. There are black gloomy occurrences and so we wait for the green joyful occasions.

I hope my personality is not painted with lone color, and not one single color overpowers my life. I hope I keep getting some experiences that are rudimentary and rustic like charcoal, some events like oil colors, adjusting but beautiful, some like acrylics - straightforward and rich, a few happenings like watercolors - unpredictable and challenging!

Nature

Do we like different creations of nature based on the state of our mind?
Sometimes ruffled look of a waterfall brings tears in my eyes, sometimes it makes me feel peaceful and at times the same bustling look of the waterfall makes me perturbed.

Just a glance at a lake makes me feel serene, the green color of the trees makes my mind feel relaxed. At times I travel distances just to get a glimpse of this splendor and at times I pass by lakes and trees and do not even bother to take a peek at it. Why does the disquiet or the passive form of nature make us feel blissful or dejected?

The water of an aroused river but I can't swim,  Green are the mountains but I can not loll on it, Clear blue skies invite me and I can't fly!

At times I think what is the meaning of life and then I come across some exuberant sight of nature. That makes me feel life is beautiful and even if meaningless it is worth living...

Keys

When I go home I lock the door and fling the keys wherever.

When it is time to go out it takes me 5 minutes to get ready and 10 minutes to find the keys. In our frenzied and hectic lives, I think we do the same with our memories. We create different compartments in our minds and keep them filling unconsciously with various memories, experiences, events, and feelings. We lock these compartments and let them corrode. In our mechanical and chaotic life, it rarely happens that the memories are revived when we are relaxing. Just so that our life doesn’t become too impassive our mind, oblivious to us, hides the keys to all its compartments in distinct places. These keys take us instinctively to past memories. You might have experienced this…

A gentle breeze comes from somewhere and leaves by opening one of the compartments of our mind. And then the mind takes off and circles around the similar kind of breeze experienced in the past.

The mind also conceals some keys in various odors. The scent of the earth after the rain might take you to the woods of your hometown. One key is buried in the sense of touch. The touch of the blanket made from my mother’s Saree still makes me feel her warmth.

Sometimes the keys are in different sounds. If we listen to even the sound of a swirling sea then the next moment we might find ourselves lying on the beaches or spinning in the waves of Konkan / Goa (might be Hawaii for you). At times you listen to a familiar song and immediately remember the memory of yourself dancing in a concert.

And at times the keys are masked in various names. If you read/ hear one of it then it instantly opens the locks and fetches the memories related to it – pleasant, ghastly, wounding, insulting, gracious…

One of the names may perhaps embrace the ‘master key’ and it stirs up all the memories.

And in the middle of all this suddenly we become conscious of reality. We grab our running mind, gather the cluttered memories, lock them in the compartments and fling the keys!

Race with time

Time is loping rapidly. I have given up my attempts to make it take a breather. I am trying hard to match my speed with time.

Sometimes I take a quick break and watch time dashing by. Why doesn’t it go slow? How come it is never exhausted? Why doesn’t it just linger for a while? They say to make it big you need to be on your toes continuously. But if we don’t put our feet up how will we observe our contest with time.

I have stopped dreaming to win in my race with time. I start rushing from the time I wake up. I plan the ‘to do’ things for the day during my jog with milliseconds.

In this scuttle, I just touch a few places and run and at places, I lurk a bit while on run. As if the entire day’s scurry is not enough; my mind starts running at night. It visits different places and people while I am asleep. When my mind gets tired with the body, my brain starts its gallop. Sometimes I write articles, poems and plans for the coming days in my dreams.

Time keeps up with its flow but though not tired I stop at times; to absorb the ‘emotions’ related to the happenings during the day… and just to observe their presence in life…

Philosopher's stone

1. 
   I do not believe in 'love at first sight' or 'love at first meet'. For there to be love... there needs to be togetherness. There is a difference between attraction and love, attraction can lead to affinity, which people can mistake for love. In my opinion, if attraction and affinity are followed by togetherness and the attraction and affinity still stays unaffected... then that state is called love.

2. Can humans live with just a beautiful body or they crave the companionship of beautiful thoughts? I don't know about others but I easily get attracted to smiling faces with progressive thoughts, the good-natured people. With their intelligence, positivity, good nature and thinking they will make you grow as a person too. For me people with rotten attitudes and negative approaches are reproachful ... how-much-ever good looking they might be.

3. I have said this many times and I think that analogy fits in here perfectly...If you want to look good then buy gold but if you want to turn into gold... then look for the philosopher's stone.

Sewing...

Most of the skirts that I have were a size or two bigger for me (after I lost oodles of weight). I sewed them from one side, I don’t think anyone can tell by looking at any of them that they are adjusted. Basic sewing skills and a sewing machine definitely comes in handy.

This is the machine that I have - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JQM1DE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

‘Quality sewing and vacuum’ store provides free classes to teach machine set up which was helpful for me as the new computerized machines are a lot different than the manual sewing machine that I was used to.

Anyway, the point is if something isn't broken or can be fixed, then there is no reason to look for a replacement.

Life Choices

I am pretty darn happy with all my life choices. I like where the path has led me with the decisions that I have made.

One and the only reason why I am at peace with my choices is that I NEVER compare my life to anyone else's. My life is my own. I am here due to 'the family I was born in, the country I was born in, the personality I was born with, and then what I did with all of the variables that life offered me. No two people have the same starting point. Not even twins. So the question of comparing and resenting doesn't arise.

 If one is set out on the path of comparing and resenting about the starting points that life gave them then there is no end to it. I could have sat in a corner each day and wondered why was I born in a village, not a city, why did I have to do my early schooling in schools with no walls, why not those huge posh convents, why didn't my father have any money to send me to good schools and why wasn't I born to Amitabh Bachchan instead. You see what I am saying... there is no end to it. All I need to do is compare myself ... with me... the past me.

I need to see my start point and compare it with the current me and ask myself do I see growth?

As long as I am actively choosing growth -  physical, mental, intellectual, spiritual and emotional in every moment and learning from every mistake, I count that as a successful life choice.

All I would say is there is nothing positive about envying anyone. Everyone has their own path. Do what makes you happy. Everyday. Choose the path of growth and rest will follow.

Sublime creation?

It is ironic that humans, despite being ‘God’s’ most sublime (intellectual) creation, are just still animals at the core, their behavior is driven to a great extent by a quest of creature comfort. We comfort our physical bodies in hopes our souls will follow. People overindulge in the primary temptations of the body primarily food and sex and with the rise of the internet and cheap designer drugs more temptations have arisen.

- A passage from Origin - a book by Dan Brown

Diary

In the beginning, my writing was confined in a 100-page diary. I wrote about what I did during the day, what I wore and mostly it was the reflection of all the feelings that I went through. We gaze at ourselves in the mirror once in a while, just like that whenever I get a chance I go through the old pages of my diary, to look for that innocent naive existence of me, it is not lost, I have it preserved - in my diary.

Sometimes an emotion takes over us and then we stop listening to our brain and do what the heart tells us to. That emotion can be anything, love, anger, vengeance or rage. The brain stops functioning logically when the heart starts to rule, and then we start dancing to the tunes of our emotions.

I am a common (wo)man who has experienced the battles between the brain and mind. All of these battles, struggles, fights are witnessed by my diary, and most of the battles end in the diary too. Those white papers have the power to calm me down. Stress at work, at home, my principles or the tangled relationships, thrilling-sad-funny-happy experiences and all sorts of ideas - the diary knows it all.

She bears with my anger and love both with equal poise. She listens. Everyone goes through struggles but she constantly gives me the courage to get up and try again. I am not a quiet person, sometimes I feel I talk way too much and I should let others do some talking too, but with the diary, I speak my innermost feelings. My parents have a big role to play in the kind of person I am today and my diary has a solid part in the kind of person I am not. Because I don't avenge, speak badly, with anger, just because I get to express it to the diary. She is my venting mechanism. Most of the storms relinquish in it.

She also developed a liking for creation in me.

I see the memories of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow in my diary. She provides me the kind of support I need to be at peace and not just superficially. In real life, I do not abide by the rules of society, and I am the same with my diary... even more so. I have had an inferiority complex ever since I remember but the diary provides me a surge of confidence every time I express myself to her.

There are loads of advantages of writing a diary, even psychiatrists prescribe it to patients going through depression. I highly recommend picking up the habit of writing a journal/ diary, even if it's just 4 lines every day!

Reading...is a good habit

I loved to read since I was very young, perhaps because even though we have just one life, I wanted to be on that spaceship to the moon, I wanted to go 20,000 leagues under the sea, I wanted to drink tea with Alice in Wonderland and learn a magic spell from Harry Potter. And this love of reading defined the entire course of my life eventually.

Innumerable brilliant men/women have left the fingerprints of their minds for us so that we can absorb that information and build on it; all we have to do is open a book and begin.

If you propose to speak...

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” –Buddha

“Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

Oh! Stay, dear child, one moment stay,

Before a word you speak,

That can do harm in any way

To the poor, or to the weak;

And never say of any one

What you’d not have said of you,

Ere you ask yourself the question,

“Is the accusation true?”

And if ’tis true, for I suppose

You would not tell a lie;

Before the failings you expose

Of friend or enemy:

Yet even then be careful, very;

Pause and your words well weigh,

And ask ft it be necessary,

What you’re about to say.

And should it necessary be,

At least you deem it so,

Yet speak not unadvisedly

Of friend or even foe,

Till in your secret soul you seek

For some excuse to find;

And ere the thoughtless word you speak,

Ask yourself, “Is it kind?”

When you have ask’d these questions three—

True,—Necessary,—Kind,—

Ask’d them in all sincerity,

I think that you will find,

It is not hardship to obey

The command of our Blessed Lord,—

No ill of any man to say;

No, not a single word.

Poem by - Mary Ann Pietzker

9 books that stayed with me. 9

9. The Martian - Andy Weir

I had an aversion towards Sci-Fi books, I had read a few like ‘a wrinkle in time’, ‘ender’s game’, ‘Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the galaxy’ - all of these are well-known books, however, I did not enjoy reading them. I picked up ‘The Martian’ with reluctance and I absolutely loved it, I realized I do enjoy Sci-Fi after all, only if chosen wisely  :). I am now open to reading sci-fi and the ones that really liked are - Replay, The Martian, Recursion and Dark matter. 

Some avid readers say they read anything and everything, well I don’t. Life is too short to read anything and everything also once we start reading and appreciating quality stuff like Ayn Rand and Richard Dawkins it is hard to read anything and everything.

Hope you enjoy reading these books.