Reading...is a good habit

I loved to read since I was very young, perhaps because even though we have just one life, I wanted to be on that spaceship to the moon, I wanted to go 20,000 leagues under the sea, I wanted to drink tea with Alice in Wonderland and learn a magic spell from Harry Potter. And this love of reading defined the entire course of my life eventually.

Innumerable brilliant men/women have left the fingerprints of their minds for us so that we can absorb that information and build on it; all we have to do is open a book and begin.

9 books that stayed with me. 2

2. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

I don’t read anything and everything now, life is too short to do that and there is a lot of quality available, but it wasn’t always the case for me, not until I conquered the language barrier.

I had read enough Marathi books, so when I went to the library I had read most of the books by good writers and had to read books by ‘Popatrao Bhase’ because I wanted to read something new. If you haven’t read books by ‘Popatrao’ then you wouldn’t know the level of low-grade books I had started to read. And that is when I saw my second brother, also from Marathi medium, read an English book called Atlas Shrugged. I decided to give it a try, and boy oh boy how glad am I that I did. 

It took me 8 months to finish reading this book - considering it was my first English book and I wasn't accustomed to the language and also because the book is huge.

From the first scene in this book where a girl gets out of a train and is teased by some men for questioning why the train stopped working, and then she shuts them up by saying she is Dagny Taggart - the owner of the train that they are traveling in. From that first scene onwards every scene in the book gave me goosebumps, it made the feminist in me proud too. I do not want to divulge the plot in case you are planning to read this book. But the basic theme is about creators and leeches, creators are ignored by the public, that is by us, and leeches are worshipped who exist because of the creators. This book was written in the ’50s and one can not help but wonder the kind of vision Ayn Rand had, the theme applies to today’s world too.

And then the next book I read was ‘Fountainhead’, again by Ayn Rand. A man who doesn’t let go of his principles and values, can he attain success? Considering everyone around us is ‘compromising’ some way or the other. At one point I got so mad at the man that I threw the book to the floor (I do not remember doing this to any other books that I read), such are the emotions that Ayn Rand makes the readers go through. I read Fountainhead a couple of times after that and it remains one of my favorite books. 

I enjoyed reading many English books after that - like Animal Farm, Alchemist, Pride and Prejudice, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Da Vinci Code, Veronica decides to die, Tell me your dreams and many more.

Indian Superfoods : Rujuta Diwekar

All my life when I looked around I felt a disconnect with the world. Fancy diets, calorie counting, don't eat this/ that, hours-long workouts... I did not understand the necessity of all this. I eat small quantities after every few hours, I eat simple, homemade, Indian and fresh food, I eat ghee, rice, coconut every day, I can not have a salad for a dinner, I can have khichadi for dinner but not salad (as the fad goes). I spend 60 minutes every day on exercise, nothing more than that.

And when I looked around I thought 'my grandmother never followed any such diets, she ate simple and lived simple and didn't have to see a doctor all her life, why are there so many fads, who should I follow? my grandmother/ mother or the world? There are new scientific discoveries, maybe my grandmother didn't know about them, but then I see that she lived a healthy life and maintained an awesome lean figure'.

And then one day I started reading and following Rujuta Diwekar and it dawned on me that my grandmother is and has always been right.  There was no looking back for me after that, I read all of Rujuta's books, she saved me from feeling confused, pulled me out of my quandary. Did Rujuta Diwekar turn me into a follower of my grandmother's lifestyle? No! I always followed it, all I needed was an affirmation that I am on the right path, the path of logic and simplicity, and she provided me with that affirmation.

Overall I feel Indian food is a superfood and in the book 'Indian Superfoods' Rujuta lists the superfoods of the superfood.

I highly recommend her books.

Book Reviews. 2017. 8

Reviewing the books that I read in 2017.

36. Why does the world exist? An Existential Detective Story - Jim Holt

The question of why is there a world rather than nothing at all? remains the darkest and most enduring of all metaphysical mysteries. Jim Holt enters this fractious debate with his lively and deeply informed narrative that traces the latest efforts to grasp the origins of the universe. He leaves us with the question Stephen Hawking once asked but couldn't answer, ‘Why does the universe go through all the bother of existing?’. 4/5.

37. Harry Potter and the cursed child: parts 1 and 2 - John Tiffany

Before you start reading this book, separate your mind from the fact that this is going to be an exemplary continuation of the previous seven books. Aside from being a play, this book is also a more mature, character-driven, less magical story. I liked it. 3.5/5.

38. The first fifteen lives of Harry August - Claire North

Replay is a great book with a similar storyline, I highly recommend Replay but did not like the first fifteen lives of Harry August. 2/5.

39. Very Good, Jeeves! - P.G. Wodehouse

"Very Good, Jeeves" is a collection of 11 short stories featuring everyone's favorite valet ("a personal gentleman's gentleman," as Jeeves describes himself) and the ongoing scrapes of Mr. Bertie Wooster. In each story, either Bertie or one of his friends and relatives is in a bind, and fortunately for everyone, Jeeves is always there to advise and set things right. 5/5.

Five Life Lessons

Five life lessons that I have learned -

1) You can not please everyone.

Personally, I have seen that people have bizarre expectations. A lot of people are hypocrites and someone or the other will always get offended by what you do. Might as well do what makes you feel comfortable, happy and healthy.

2) Actions speak louder than words.

If there is something you wish to do, then do it first and talk about it later. Its always more fun listening to real-stories than the imaginary ones.

3) Life is short.

Great if you are adventurous and into daredevil sports but do not risk others lives because they might not recover from it. Ever! And if you are forced into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing or don't have the nerve for then be strong enough to say no, doesn't matter if they call you a coward - I have experienced this firsthand, I broke my tailbone just because someone forced me to skate, it took me more than a year to heal from the injury, I had to take painkillers for one whole year otherwise the pain left me in tears each night. I didn't need to skate to show I wasn't a coward, I just needed to trust my intuition and should have said 'go to hell' (or whatever words I use when I am angry) - being aggressive/ vocal and upfront about what we want and do not want to do is much more courageous. Life is short. Do not make it shorter by being foolish.

The above does not apply just for adventures but anything in general. Remember you are an independent person, free citizen of a free nation. You alone are responsible for your health, well being, mental well being, people you want to hang out with or any decisions that you make. People will try to use bad-harsh-unpleasant words, thinking you will be manipulated that way. Let people bark. It doesn't matter. Trust your intuition. Stand up for yourself and if it comes to that then yell, scream make sure that you are heard and there are boundaries that people do not dare to cross.

4) Financial Independence is important.

Until you are dependent upon someone else for your 'survival', you will never truly be your own person.

5) Happiness is a choice.

And that means one needs to choose what we do in our lives, with our time, who do we hang out with, the kind of lifestyle we live - it is all a choice, happiness is a choice.

Lead by example

I seldom give any weight to someone's opinion unless I respect them in 'that' particular field. If I like your body - health - mental status then I will listen to your fitness-diet tips. There are people who are double my size  - who have given me diet/ weight suggestions/advice.

It doesn't matter if you hold a doctorate in nutrition/ health or diet. First, prove it to me that you have got it under control in your life and then you shall have my 100% attention :-)...

Don't get me wrong, I love to improve myself, I love pieces of advice but say if my mother gives me advice on weight and diet then I would happily take it because she has been in shape forever, her diet is perfect, ever since I remember I have seen her exercise every.single.day, and even after having 3 kids she has a flat belly - she holds the credibility to give a piece of advice...

Or I would happily take a piece of advice on behavior and worldly wisdom from my father, he is one of the best people I have known in my life. But if toxic, negative and just bad people start to find faults in anyone/anything, I can not help but wonder why don't they spend that time in introspection.

I think you get the gist...Lead by example...

The world is changed by our example, not by our opinion.

Women: 5. The Royals

This is the five-part in the series. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3,Part 4.

The Royals

A relative of mine, age 27, has a master degree, got a job three years ago, earns well (most of the software people do), he is very intelligent, soft-spoken, looks great and is a fantastic photographer. He is brought up by a single parent (his mother had to start from scratch when his father left within 2-3 years of marriage), he is not born with a silver spoon.

He is looking for a bride on matrimonial sites and has been rejected over and over again. Reason? Indian girls want this very well settled man who has a house, a car, and a bank balance.

A house in Pune (after just 3 years of a job) is not a joke, especially for people who build everything on their own (he lives with his mother currently). So anyway, I told him to ask the girls the same question - 'Are you well settled? do you have a house, a car, and a bank balance? If not then what makes you think that a boy the same age as yours and with the same number of years of experience as yours will have everything?

Here is my thought - if you want all this then why not earn it yourself, why depend on a man?

I feel this attitude of women is as much wrong as men asking for dowry. I agree that one needs to see that the boy is educated, has a good heart and whatnot but expecting that the man would have bought a house, a car and everything within just a few years of experience is WRONG, especially if you yourself haven't earned that much!

Look at the potential in the boy, would he be able to support and share as much as you (and not just financially but in taking care of household chores too). And then you would be able to build everything together. Do not expect everything to be served on a platter. It is wrong to put men under so much pressure based on (idiotic) gender roles.

Many women expect their husband/father to shower them with presents, like on the occasions of Rakshabandhan, Paadava, Bhaubiz, Diwali, and whatnot, a woman prays the man for her protection and in turn gets a gift, I don't understand these kinds of rituals, I find them very stupid and so I don't follow them. I don't need gifts...I earn them myself. Be capable enough to buy gifts for yourselves, be able to protect yourself! We say we want the equality of the sexes but a certain segment of women in society wish to be treated like royalty by men all the time...

On a side note, some women find these rich husbands and get bogged down by luxuries. Does a day come when they realize that they never took a step to find their own identity and now it is too late?

We, myself included, need to introspect and be the change we want to see in the society. Do not quit your job/business/passion, not for anyone, make your own money, save, enough to cover all your expenses for at least 6 months, for the worst-case scenario, take a break if you want to (men do that too) but work again, treat men equal to you, pay half the bill on your date, open the door for them, don't expect them to spend their hard-earned money on you - be capable of earning and then spending...

Skirt: Modcloth, Tights: Target, Shoes: Steve Madden, Top: Loft, Sweater: Modcloth

Truly Patriotic

Is 'patriotism' a byproduct of all the wars and battles which had been fought by tribes, clans, cults, religious groups to survive? Is it soon becoming an obsolete emotion? Because this generation is born and brought up in comparatively calmer surroundings (than the world wars and British Raj) and also this generation lives all over the place. We are born in one country, a study in another, work in the third country and then retire in a new country altogether. So which country are we going to be 'patriotic' about? And I do not mean for a sports game, I mean in the time of war.

Is 'patriotism' one of the hurdles in the path to world peace? If there was no patriotism, but only general regard and respect for mankind, no matter where they were born or bred, wouldn't the need to own, capture, secure and protect a manmade boundary disappear? It is wonderful to be proud of one's heritage but if that converts into thinking that we are superior to the other cultures, then it is not really a noble concept.

From what we know Earth could be the only planet with life ... found anywhere nearby or probably found anywhere in the billions of galaxies, it would be great if we are patriotic for the Earth in its entirety and save its environment, life, and beauty!

Skirt: Banana republic, Top: Macys, Tights: DSW, Shoes: Don't remember, but I should have worn something else.

fashion

These are my opinions on what fashion is (as usual applicable for both genders).

1. We should not be wearing certain clothes just because others are wearing them. We need to wear clothes which make us look & feel good. Fashion can take a hike! It's good to be fashionable but only when fashion makes us look good!


2. We should not forget our paunch :) how many of us have a perfect-flat-stomach? I know I don't. And yet, we are determined to wear body-fitted dresses circling our paunch almost, as if with a compass! don't wear belts, low rise jeans or things that highlight the paunch.


3. We need to watch our make-up (if you decide to wear it). It is a good idea to learn basic makeup and know some tricks like the foundation needs to match our skin-tone. Innumerable makeup tutorials are available on Youtube.


4. Keep it simple. Fancy clothes plus too many accessories can result in looking like a circus really :). When accessorizing, choose one - a bunch of bangles/bracelets or a bunch of necklaces/chains or one of each and never all!

Skirt: Ann Taylor factory, Top: Loft, Sweater: J crew factory, Tights: Target, Shoes: Ellen Tracy

None of my business...

What other people think of me is none of my business. ~Wayne Dyer

2 combos:

Skirt: Gap, Top: Jones New York, Shoes: Kensie

Skirt : Gap, Top: White House Black Market, Shoes: Steve Madden

Perception ...

Perception - not from our point of view, but from what other's view of you and/or your life is. Whenever you hear people talk about you, your work or your personality, you can distinctly differentiate between what is the truth and what is their perception. Good or bad is irrelevant here.

I do not try to change anyone's perception. If it is true, then I say, "Good, I am keeping it real!" and if it is bad then think, "I am not responsible for how their brain interprets!" ;-)

From where we stand, it is none of our business either way. Perception means nothing... it is pure entertainment if anything.

Skirt: Gap

Shirt: American Eagle

Shoes: Kensie

Happy New Year

May your coming year be filled with magic, dreams, health and madness. I hope you read some good books and hang out with people who think you are wonderful, shed those last few pounds, work on being healthy - physically and mentally, don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or cook or create something or learn an instrument or a new language or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. Happy New Year.

2 combos:

Photo 1: Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Scarf: Target, Shoes: Nine West

Photo 2: Skirt: Ann Taylor Factory

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Tights: Target

Top: Ann Taylor

What the health - Part 10 - More reasons you are not losing weight

This is part 10 of 'What the health' series. You can find earlier parts here - part1, part2, part3, part4,  part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,  part 9

9. Poor Digestion

You are not what you eat; you are what you digest and absorb!

Our gut health determines our overall wellbeing. The bacteria that lie in our gut help us to fight disease, process our food, make nutrients and make hormones. When your liver is sluggish, it struggles to process substances/toxins/hormones efficiently and this leads to toxic build-up and this will inevitably cause weight gain.

I would suggest fixing your digestion by eating simple and easy to digest foods, do not forget to drink one glass of buttermilk every day (not yogurt but homemade buttermilk).

10. Don't Drink Water

Last but not the least, we have all heard how important H2O is when it comes to shedding pounds. It helps to suppress appetite, so you're less likely to overeat. Staying hydrated keeps all chemical reactions going on in your body run smoothly and it fixes metabolism. It allows your kidneys to function properly and filter everything that they need to. Water is great for skin too.

How much water should you drink? It depends on how much you weigh, what climate you live in and how much you work out. 0.5+ ounce per 1 pound of body weight, so if you weigh 150 pounds you would be drinking (75+ ounces (2.2 liters))+ (if you live in a hot climate then few more ounces) + (if you work out each day then few more ounces). I drink 3 liters (more or less) every day.

coming up in the next posts... how to lose weight and stay healthy

Top: Charters's Club

Skirt: J crew factory

Shoes: nine west

What the health: Part 1 - Life is beautiful...when healthy.

Having a good lifestyle helps you to get thinner, feel energetic and healthy (emotionally, physically and mentally). So I decided to write my experiences and battle with health, fitness, exercise, and diet but the post was turning out to be too long so breaking it up into parts.

Beware: This post has strong opinions (facts ;-)) and a rant on fitness, obviously you are not mandated to read it ;-).

The Jargon - These days there is a jargon - don't fat shame people - and no I am not going to fat shame, anyone. All I want to say is - IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE FAT! And it is not okay to live a junk lifestyle.

Just to clarify - I said the same thing when I weighed 180 pounds and saying the same thing today when I weigh 135 pounds that is 10+ pounds overweight for my height.

[There are some rare health conditions where weight gain happens, and it can also be a side effect of certain medications and I am not talking about these scenarios here - however, shifting to a healthier lifestyle helps with most medical conditions].

How do we get fat?

It is really not rocket science to figure out why we get fat, we all know the reasons!

We eat junk food, live a junk lifestyle, are engrossed in sedentary behavior and do not exercise. There is so much variety of food available these days, one doesn't know how to control.

There was a time when I treated my gut and health with complete ignorance or shall I say disrespect, I ate out at restaurants every other day with colleagues, friends, family and sometimes alone - I ate pasta, pizza, cupcakes, burgers, ice-creams, anything, and everything. To add to that I consumed medicines, painkillers, antacids every other day, I didn't have time and the luxury to be sick.

No need to say that one day everything came back to me like a boomerang. When the downfall of health starts it takes a long time to recover (if recovery happens!).  I will spare you the details of health troubles I went through for almost four consecutive years, all's well that ends well. During those years I caught some ailment one after the other, with no breather at all. I did not have the interest or energy to enjoy anything happening around me. Health affects everything that we do, career, relationships, personal interests, and whatnot. Life is beautiful… yes… but more so when one is healthy. So I say... it is not okay to be fat, it is not okay to live a junk lifestyle, period.

If today I have lost weight and feeling light and right - it is not because of luck- it is because I changed my entire lifestyle and obviously I had to put in efforts to do so. Tomorrow if I weigh 180 pounds again or feel sick all the time then I know it will be because of my own stupidity, lack of control, lack of discipline and messed up priorities.

By being fat we are inviting diseases like heart ailments, diabetes, arthritis, GERD, sleep apnea, some cancers, gallbladder disease and many more - which is okay if you want to live with one, but trust me (or ask anyone who is suffering or has suffered because of bad lifestyle choices) that it isn't fun to live with one...

Here is why I respect fit people - irrespective of my overweight or fat status -

“Because fit people with a physique is much more than how good they look. A well-built physique is a status symbol.

It reflects that you work hard for it, no money can buy it. You cannot inherit it you cannot steal it you cannot borrow it you cannot hold on to it without constant work.

It shows dedication, it shows discipline it shows self-respect. It shows dignity. It shows patience work ethic, passion. That is why it's attractive to me.”

To be continued ...

Skirt: United colors of benetton (also worn here)

Top: Black house white market

Shoes: Kelly and katie

Less is more

I got a comment on this blog a while ago, it said ‘I have way too many clothes in my closet, half of my clothes still have tags on them, if I remove the tags and decide to use everything then I will be wearing something different every day for at least a year, without worrying about mix and match like you do.’

I wouldn’t know how this kind of closet looks. For me ‘Less Is More’ - not just in shoes and clothing but also in personal items, be it groceries, home goods or what’s in the fridge. I like to know what lies in every drawer every corner of the room and if it is not useful to have it around I donate it... It is harder than it sounds - We live in the world of consumerism, there is a constant temptation to change, upgrade, add more or buy options, we go on acquiring ‘stuff’ for no apparent reason.

Why invest in owning so much stuff? Try minimalism, stop hoarding. When it comes to dressing one can still be well dressed without really owning too much quantity… One can still wear a new outfit every day with just a little bit of creativity and planning...

My reply to the comment from the girl is - spend that money instead on upgrading yourself - join a gym, dance class, kickboxing, yoga class, learn to play an instrument or buy books and read!

Skirt: Ann Taylor Factory

Top: Old Navy

Shoes: Steve Madden

Repeat!

I have heard this from many people - we get bored with the same clothes. I would get bored too if I didn't wear it in a different way every time.

Take pride in repeating clothes, spark some creativity in repurposing what you already own, buy things that really add value to your closet and don't go for hoarding.

Skirt - Modcloth

Top - Guess

Shoes: Impo

Halter neck tank top: b'tempted

My grandmother asked me to tell you she is sorry

Skirt: Gap 

Top: White House Black Market

Shoes: Indigo

My new post 'my grandmother asked me to tell you she is sorry' is available here

Twenties Girl

My new post 'Twenties Girl' is available here

Skirt: J crew Factory

Turtleneck: Banana Republic

Scarf: Forever21

Shoes: Ellen Tracy

Back!

Back to blogging after almost 10 months of a break! I have started a new Pinterest board for this personal style blog, you can visit it here

Skirt  - Modcloth

Top - white house black market

sweater - Nordstrom rack

Shoes - Circa Joan and David

More ways I wore the stripes skirt:

Things

The best things in life are not things at all.

Skirt: Modcloth

Top: Tjmaxx

Scarf: Target

Tights: Target

Shoes: Circa Joan and David