Serenity, courage and wisdom

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

Random Thoughts Again

Have the conviction to do your own thing, make your own path, and have the determination to walk it.

Don't compare yourself to your peers and fall into the rabbit hole of fear of missing out.

Do your best in any given moment and what anyone else does is none-of-your-business.

Be content with the present.

Know your limitations and be at peace with it.

Immortal

What if we were immortal?

Would we have been able to remember the details of our entire life? Would it still have been exciting? For how many days would we enjoy hobbies, jobs, relationships and learning new things? What if there was no end to it? Would life have been a dull experience then?

The stars, planets are the same for thousands of years just their names would keep changing.

Communication would still remain just the language that would change.

'Man from Earth' is the name of the movie. It revolves around 5-6 characters just sitting in a room and chatting. What a wonderful movie! Let me know if you like it.

Keys

When I go home I lock the door and fling the keys wherever.

When it is time to go out it takes me 5 minutes to get ready and 10 minutes to find the keys. In our frenzied and hectic lives, I think we do the same with our memories. We create different compartments in our minds and keep them filling unconsciously with various memories, experiences, events, and feelings. We lock these compartments and let them corrode. In our mechanical and chaotic life, it rarely happens that the memories are revived when we are relaxing. Just so that our life doesn’t become too impassive our mind, oblivious to us, hides the keys to all its compartments in distinct places. These keys take us instinctively to past memories. You might have experienced this…

A gentle breeze comes from somewhere and leaves by opening one of the compartments of our mind. And then the mind takes off and circles around the similar kind of breeze experienced in the past.

The mind also conceals some keys in various odors. The scent of the earth after the rain might take you to the woods of your hometown. One key is buried in the sense of touch. The touch of the blanket made from my mother’s Saree still makes me feel her warmth.

Sometimes the keys are in different sounds. If we listen to even the sound of a swirling sea then the next moment we might find ourselves lying on the beaches or spinning in the waves of Konkan / Goa (might be Hawaii for you). At times you listen to a familiar song and immediately remember the memory of yourself dancing in a concert.

And at times the keys are masked in various names. If you read/ hear one of it then it instantly opens the locks and fetches the memories related to it – pleasant, ghastly, wounding, insulting, gracious…

One of the names may perhaps embrace the ‘master key’ and it stirs up all the memories.

And in the middle of all this suddenly we become conscious of reality. We grab our running mind, gather the cluttered memories, lock them in the compartments and fling the keys!

9 books that stayed with me. 8

8. Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella

Before I read this book I had never read the genre called chick-lit -  The genre often addresses issues of modern womanhood – from romantic relationships to female friendships to matters in the workplace – in humorous and lighthearted ways. Chick-lits became my guilty pleasure, however, I haven’t found a better writer in this genre than Sophie Kinsella. Sometimes I do hate the women characters in her books - who by chance meet millionaire bachelors and end up becoming rich and whatnot, but I still read all her books. Finding Audrey is one of my favorites. Fiona Gibson is another writer that I like in this genre.

Book Reviews. 2017. 7

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.

31. When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir. 4/5.

32. Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse

Wondering what Wodehouse smoked before writing books. Pu la Deshpande once mentioned that pg is his guru, after reading this book I would say there is no doubt about it, outrageous, hilarious and the best book in Bertie Jeeves series.

33. The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad - Twinkle Khanna

This was an easy read, a movie is also made on this book. Liked it. 3.5/5

34. Indian Superfoods - Rujuta Diwekar

It is interesting that yoga became cool only when the West embraced it. This book made me realize that billions of Indians are doing the same about food...blindly following trends of the West. I am not saying that everything that comes out of the west is 'evil' (I mean, I'm writing and getting to read an audience because of the West). But sometimes, it is nice to question what we have been taught. In my family I have seen my grandparents, parents living a healthy life with trim figures, how did they manage to do that? they don't follow any trends, dietitians or nutritionists. We already know the science, it is passed on to us from so many generations. Indian food is a superfood, I have always been a believer of that. Loved Loved Loved this book. Highly recommended. 5/5

35. Kosla - Bhalachandra Nemade

(Marathi book) I have the same feeling as I had for Catcher in the Rye (Kosla is 'inspired' by it). WTF did I just read? Nemade has received a Padma Shri and is a well-renowned writer. You can give this book a try if you want, and let me know how it goes :). 2/5.

What I wore in Las Vegas:

Five Life Lessons

Five life lessons that I have learned -

1) You can not please everyone.

Personally, I have seen that people have bizarre expectations. A lot of people are hypocrites and someone or the other will always get offended by what you do. Might as well do what makes you feel comfortable, happy and healthy.

2) Actions speak louder than words.

If there is something you wish to do, then do it first and talk about it later. Its always more fun listening to real-stories than the imaginary ones.

3) Life is short.

Great if you are adventurous and into daredevil sports but do not risk others lives because they might not recover from it. Ever! And if you are forced into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing or don't have the nerve for then be strong enough to say no, doesn't matter if they call you a coward - I have experienced this firsthand, I broke my tailbone just because someone forced me to skate, it took me more than a year to heal from the injury, I had to take painkillers for one whole year otherwise the pain left me in tears each night. I didn't need to skate to show I wasn't a coward, I just needed to trust my intuition and should have said 'go to hell' (or whatever words I use when I am angry) - being aggressive/ vocal and upfront about what we want and do not want to do is much more courageous. Life is short. Do not make it shorter by being foolish.

The above does not apply just for adventures but anything in general. Remember you are an independent person, free citizen of a free nation. You alone are responsible for your health, well being, mental well being, people you want to hang out with or any decisions that you make. People will try to use bad-harsh-unpleasant words, thinking you will be manipulated that way. Let people bark. It doesn't matter. Trust your intuition. Stand up for yourself and if it comes to that then yell, scream make sure that you are heard and there are boundaries that people do not dare to cross.

4) Financial Independence is important.

Until you are dependent upon someone else for your 'survival', you will never truly be your own person.

5) Happiness is a choice.

And that means one needs to choose what we do in our lives, with our time, who do we hang out with, the kind of lifestyle we live - it is all a choice, happiness is a choice.

Age Gracefully

Life is like climbing a hill. At one point or the other, we reach the peak and from there onward we either continue walking straight on the plateau for a long time or else we are on your way down the hill.

Exercise every day, make an effort, put in some hard work today, eat simple food, give some priority to your health and then one will reach that plateau.

Age gracefully.

Science Trivia

(Read it somewhere)

Love - Oxytocin is the hormone which is associated with the feeling of ‘love’. Its importance is widely demonstrated in acts of orgasm, maternal behavior, and friendliness towards a person. It is, therefore, commonly referred to as the ‘love hormone’.

Longevity - There is some belief in the scientific community that we all have a certain number of total heart beats at our disposal. For example, mice have a faster heart rate but a shorter life span. In comparison, humans and elephants have a slower heart rate but a longer life span. Hence, one way to longevity would be to slow down the resting heart rate. Anxiety and stress can increase the resting heart rate, whereas, meditation and sleep slows it down.

Memories - Prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is associated with making short term memories. It is located right behind the forehead. Short term memory loss as seen in the popular movies Memento was a result of an injury to this part of the brain. [I highly recommend Memento if you have not seen it yet.]

Top: Old Navy, Shorts: American Eagle, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Mulling Over Marriages...

For over thousands and thousands of years, two absolute strangers used to get married (this is still happening in many parts of the world) and many today out of love take the decision to become part of each others' happiness and troubles. When you look at a couple interact with each other you will know if they mend and blend with each other, if they were so to say 'made for each other' or 'made to be without each other'. Cheesy... but true.

When I look at some married couples I wonder how are these people still together... One of them is positive, happy, full of life and the other one is negative, hurtful - mentally/emotionally/physically, or is simply toxic. How does one live around this kind of person 24/7? You can see that the other person would have been so much happy without her/his partner. Isn't it easier to live independently than to be living in a toxic marriage? Is divorce such a big deal in such scenarios? Some people stay on... for the sake of kids... I don't know how does it help the kids to be living with parents who don't get along, who are unhappy and who are living independent lives under one roof.

If people from this scenario get divorced then great... happiness is a choice and you made it.

And then there are some who get divorced... way too casually. Within two months of married life, they get divorced saying 'oh he watches too much TV'. Okay!!! but you were in a relationship for 5 years and out of them 2 years in a live-in relationship, you didn't realize it at that time? How can a person be just right for you for such a long time and then within two months you realize he is all wrong? Getting divorced for lame reasons without trying to make it work is also quite lame (I feel), never enter a marriage thinking you can ignore the behaviors now and change them later, because how would that work? Would you change your habits just because you signed a document?

The third scenario is where the couple just gets along without too many efforts, they fit like a jig-saw puzzle, their fights are quite a scene to watch too, they argue and next minute they are again best friends as if the argument never happened. They ignore the tiny ripples and move on. It is quite amazing to see such couples and how closely they get involved and how everything about their lives get intertwined with each other. Their finances, professional decisions, inter-personal relationships which once, were independent of each other, get practically woven together... so tightly that the threads can barely even be seen! I find it quite an endearing phenomenon especially since human beings are essentially selfish so how do their pain and suffering unite with this one person? And then they spend the rest of their lives trying to make each other's life a little easier, happier and fuller! 

Top: Loft, Shorts: American Eagle, Shoes: Beach sandals by American Eagle

Same dress...

Do you find it weird to wear the same dress to every party? I never found it unnatural to repeat party clothes. In last 12-13 years I have worn the same ethnic dress to every other Indian get together, and the same western dress to every other holiday party that I made to. It’s okay with me, trust me nobody remembers! And if anyone happens to then you should be happy that they notice your hard work - that you are able to fit in the same dress for so many years ;-).

2 combos:

Dress: Ann Taylor Factory (10 years old), Shoes: Etienne Aigner (8 years old)

Short: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Traveling

One of my favorite things about traveling is people watching. It is one of the most revealing activities. The rhythm of their lives, street styles, office rush hour, lunch break, the observations are endless.

Also, shorts are my favorite outfit when traveling.

Photo1 : short - american eagle, top - american eagle, shoes - Tommy Hilfiger

Photo2 : short - american eagle, top - ann taylor, shoes - etienne aigner

Blood is thicker than water...

I have had some amazing friends, that I am still friends with. They helped me to be the person that I am today. Be it happiness or sadness I still feel comfortable sharing stuff with them. I remember the day when I moved to Seattle, I did not cry leaving my mother but I cried when my best friend (sakhi as I call her) showed up.

But then the bestest of my friends have been my cousins and relatives my age, I get along with them even better than my non-family best friends. There is this instant connection, belongingness, and care when one hears that we are a 'family'. Yes, this post is about family.

If I look back at my life I have been the closest to my family members, I can not stand a single word against any of my family members. If and when I have been through the darkest phases then it is the family who has helped me the most. Same goes for me - if anything had to happen to any of my family member I would want to drop everything and be of help. I am glad that I have a sane family who understands and cares for each other.

There is some weird type of families, like, four brothers living on four floors and yet no one talks to each other, fighting over an estate that the parents left for them, like the vultures fighting over dead bodies.

There are gossiping families, the ones who gossip about every family member in their absence and are not loyal to each other. All they have for each other is disrespect. It is not surprising that such families do not stick together. They fight/ quarrel/ yell/ scream/ gossip or try to control and demean others.

And yet I feel that if something drastic had to happen in one's life, say cancer, then it is the family that would come for help, doesn't matter what the past equation has been.

There comes a phase in life when you love your friends more than your relatives or family, but then eventually one realizes that it is not about likes or dislikes or whom you want to go watch movies or party with, it is about  - for whom does your heartache when you see them in trouble? For whom can you not stand a single word against? Who would drop everything and be with you if you had been in a bad accident? I bet most of the names would be your family members, isn't it?

And that's why they say 'blood is thicker than water'.

2 combos:

Short: American Eagle, Top: Loft, Shoes: Converse

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger, Top: Loft, Short: American Eagle

Skin Care

Know your skin type - is it dry/ oily or sensitive?

If you are here to note down a list of any fancy fast working skin products then you will be disappointed, I have none.

1. The secret to keeping the whole body soft and healthy-looking lies in moisturizing.

I have a dry skin type, which means my skin feels very tight after bathing or any contact with water. I have a dry hand and dry lip symptom too, I get chapped lips all the time.

So what do I use?

a. I do not use soaps in public restrooms - restaurants/ theaters, etc. they are by default harsh and do not suit me. I always carry either a soap bottle or sanitizer/wet wipes in my purse.

b. Almond oil - it is excellent for the skin - it makes the skin look healthier, reduces dark circles, it cures skin problems like eczema, acne.

c. Cetaphil and Vaseline are my all-time favorite moisturizers, vaseline is best for lips too.

2. The secret to good skin is NOT using loads of skincare products

Skincare products claim to be working fast like magic but they do more harm to the skin than anything. Go for the natural fixes instead. For example, before going to bed massage your face with coconut oil for at least 20 seconds - it takes away any makeup products used and keeps the face moisturized throughout the night.

Aloe Vera, castor oil, honey, cucumber, and sandalwood powder are excellent for the skin.

3. The secret to glowing skin is EXERCISE

I have seen many people who do not necessarily have spectacular skin - but when they start working out, running, biking and whatnot - their skin starts to glow! The reason is simple - exercise increases blood flow and blood carries oxygen and nutrients to the entire body including the skin. Marathon runners, bikers and generally people who work out regularly have radiant skin.

4. The secret to healthy skin is DIET

French fries, hormone-laden meats, fried food, chips and generally all types of junk food is ALSO bad for the skin. A simple and nutritious diet does well to the skin too (as much as it does good to the entire body).

5. Drink ….WATER

Drink at least 8 glasses a day, it helps to rid the body and skin of toxins.

6. Last but not least - SLEEP

Sleep strengthens your immune system, it keeps your heart healthy, it boosts your mood, it is important for your physical and emotional well being (as much as exercise and a good diet are). Seven to eight hours of sleep is required by the body. If you want good health - sleep, if you want to lose weight - sleep, if you want to live long - sleep and if you want good skin ---- sleep!

I hope you find these tips useful.

2 combos:

Skirt: United Colors of Benetton, Top: Old Navy, Shoes: Kensie

Shorts: American Eagle, Top: Old Navy, Beach Sandals: American Eagle

Seattle Summer!

This has been the hottest summer in the last 12-13 years of my stay in Seattle. This place is heaven when the sun shines (in a year it rains for good 10 months at least).

I am wearing a lot of white this summer...

Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Tommy Hilfiger Factory store

Out Of Circle

I do not like camisole kind of tops, I am sure when you dress up you have your own reservations based on your likes/ body types and what-not. Every person draws a circle around themselves and thinks whatever happens inside that circle is right and whatever is out of the circle is unacceptable, so similarly camisoles, low necklines are out of my circle. A lot of women have a problem with wearing shorts, which fits comfortably well in my circle :)

Anyway, I couldn't resist myself when I saw this camisole at the old navy...

Shorts: American Eagle Outfitters factory store

Top: Old Navy (4-5 years old)

Sandals: Aldo

Sunglasses: Gucci

Good TV Shows

My new post-Good TV shows is available HERE

Shorts: American Eagle

Top: Guess

Sandals: Indigo

Sunglasses: BVLGARI