Idiot Box: Part 8

You can see the earlier parts here - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Black Mirror

More seasons of Black Mirror are out and it is at its best, it provokes discussion, though often less about technological developments and more about the fallibility of human nature. 5/5.

Stranger Things

'Stranger things' is definitely the best Netflix original. There are only 8 episodes in each season, it has a terrific sense of mystery, the nostalgia of the 80s is glorious, the casting is superb, humor and thriller is mind-boggling. 5/5.

Dark

Originally a German series that you can watch with English subtitles. There are a lot of characters to keep track of in this show, which is one of the key challenges in the initial episodes, it inevitably sucks you in regardless. Dark is a mystery-box show through and through, complete with secrets and surprising twists and cliffhangers that put a cap on each episode while enticing you to immediately open the bottle of the next one. But at the same time it is a complicated story, just hang in there for the first few episodes and everything will start to make sense. 5/5.

Death in paradise

As with many cop procedurals, there's an element of 'comfort food' about Death in Paradise. You know what you're going to get: the murder, the impossibility, the dogged legwork by the police officers, and then – usually just as it seems the case is uncrackable – the Detective Inspector sees or hears something that sparks a synapse or two… and he knows who did it. Gathering all the suspects in the best way, he explains it all. Chances are pretty good that if you're concentrating, you can get there ahead of the team – the way the murders are filmed nearly always contains some important clue – but even if you're half-asleep, you're led by the hand through the evidence. 4/5.

Planet Earth

This is a must-watch show. Filmed on animals, jungles, rainforests, deserts, and pole to pole, it just makes one realize how beautiful planet earth is and how we are destroying it (I feel Earth will survive no matter what we do, but in the process, it will destroy us, so it is wrong when people say we are destroying Earth, Earth is quite strong and robust to be destroyed, all we are doing is destroying ourselves). 5/5.

 

People Pleaser

It is human nature to want to fit-in, to belong, to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. A lot of you would accept (at least to yourself) that you are people pleasers.

I, amongst many others that I know, do not spend time on pleasing people because

1. I am okay with being disliked,

2. People have these bizarre kinds of expectations and objections. I am sure you have been through situations where you thought that people can have such nonsensical expectations and objections? I will give you one example, I took my own blankets and pillow to someone's house for a sleepover, because I wasn't sure if they would have enough for so many guests coming over to their house. Can you guess what the host gossiped about... that I carried my own blanket, while they should have been happy that I was considerate. I till today laugh at the whole thing... how bizarre can people's objections and observations be... 

Anyway, the point is - it is impossible to please all the people all the time, and some negative people can never be pleased whatever you do and a lot of people lack empathy. We should rather do our own thing and some will be pleased with least some of the times ;-). 

If everyone likes you, then someone is definitely lying to you :) Do not feel the need for anyone’s approval and be undeterred by people’s opinions. Be clear about what you like and dislike, the kind of people you would want to meet and not meet. 

There are so many better things one can do with the time that they have, be it as trivial as taking a nap.…or read/write/paint or be around amazing people/books than to spend time on fulfilling bizarre expectations.

As they say ‘You can not be afraid to not be liked. This fear limits you from being ALL of you’. I just want to live being me and be able to do things according to the circumstances and situations in life without being worried about what people are expecting from me or what are they objecting to. 

I do not have any intention of wasting this short presence on earth thinking about trivial objections, life is so vast, so BIG, there is so much one can do with their time. I feel being a people pleaser restricts us from creating what we want to create and do what we want to do.

Joke...

(Do not want to portray women as stereotypical. I am sharing a joke, take it for what it is)

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother that he has fallen in love and that
he is ready to get married.

He says, "Just for fun,  Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and
guess which  one I'm  going to marry."  The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they all chat for a while. He then  says, "Okay Ma, guess
which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her." 

Book Reviews. 2017. 3

Reviewing books that I read in 2017:

11. Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty 

I did not like the book but absolutely loved the show on HBO, which would be an ideal example of how to adapt books for TV shows. 3/5.

12. My not so perfect life - Sophie Kinsella

I read all her books, does not mean I like all of them :-). 2/5.

13. Space Chronicles: Facing the ultimate frontier - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Tyson illuminates the past, present, and future of space exploration and brilliantly reminds us why NASA matters now as much as ever. I loved the book. 5/5.

14. My Man Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse

My father has read all of Wodehouse books. And I want to. I am short of words to express what a legendary writer he is. Wodehouse is my favorite author when it comes to wordplay. His writing has a very natural flow, and even though the stories are set in the British context, you feel very close to his characters. The only other author who made me laugh so hard was P. L. Deshpande. Wodehouse's stories are charmingly simple and yet delightfully funny. 5/5.

15. All the missing girls - Megan Miranda

A very well rated book on Goodreads, but I failed to understand all that hoopla around it. 2/5.

Ban...

Every other year I impose a shopping ban on myself. So I do not shop for even a hairpin in that year (I am obviously not talking about the essentials - such as groceries). The max I have gone with the ban is 3 years straight. I must tell you it is quite challenging because there are temptations all around us. I get to try out many combinations in the ban periods and use everything that I have.

So why the ban? Because I cannot help but cringe over the materialistic world we have formed around us. We are all dwelling in excess. Believing in retail therapy more than believing in ourselves. Why do we feel we need to shop to feel happy? We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. I am just trying NOT to be that person.

I have always been a big believer in savings. If you give me money, chances are I will straight away put it into my savings, planning for real estate investments. I didn't buy anything in 2018, and 2019 is a ban year too. Anyone interested in trying out the ban?

Shoes: Nine West, Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Ann Taylor, Sweater: J Crew Factory

Why do I blog?

I feel one is not required to save the world with their creativity. Also your art doesn't need to be original or important.

I did not create this blog for you - the reader, I did not think 'oh this blog will help people get style ideas', Nope! That wasn't the first thought. I created this blog for me, for my own pleasure because I enjoy styling, taking pictures, editing them, writing posts, it is all enjoyable for me, I do my best considering my time constraints.

If you enjoy what you see and read here then that would definitely make me happy. If you say you got a few ideas because of the pictures then that would make me happy too, and if you say you don't like it and it is useless, even then I will keep posting. Because at the end of the day one must do what they do because they like doing it!

Sweater: Modcloth, Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Nine West

Fashion 1 0 1 : Part 10

1. Slow down. Don't let the ads tempt you, don't go browsing the shops. Detox. We're buying too much anyway. If you see a skirt for 4$ think what kind of quality it is - the good quality fabrics that I have bought in this country for sewing an adult size skirt takes at least 6$ a yard - so something that is sold for 4$ is plain bad quality and also think how much was the sewer paid for his/her hard work (as the company is going to keep maximum profit). Next time you buy at sale realize that the company is still making its profit - the sale that you get is by cutting the wages of the sewers. I have thought a lot on this topic and the best solution that I see is - Stop mindless consumption, reuse, recycle, repair and reduce.

Shoes: Nine West, Jeans: American Eagle, Top: Ann Taylor, Scarf: Target

Fashion 1 0 1 : Part 7

In Cambodia when textile industry workers marched to ask for an increase in the minimum wage - police fired guns killing and injuring people - their only ask was 160$ per month - they are currently given 30 cents a day. Why their government doesn’t help with this? Because they fear that if the wages are increased the business will go to other countries who are offering lower wages - the businesses obviously care only for profits. Our government has no rules and regulations over the trades, the companies decide the working conditions, minimum wage, and these corporations are making loads of money.

But wait there's more to that. The fast fashion industry has a massive and negative influence on the environment. The aim is to produce as much material for clothes as fast as possible. This means that the chain of harmfulness starts right at cotton plantations. The cotton isn't just sprayed with pesticides but also monopolized by big corporations which means very few rich producers are able to farm ecologically.

To be continued...

Jeans: American Eagle (10 years old), Top: Ann Taylor, Shoes Ann Klein (6+ years old)

Fashion 1 0 1 : Part 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part5

We can buy clothes so cheaply because they are made of very poor quality materials and because people who make these clothes do not earn a living wage. They work in factories that do not fulfill safety requirements. They work with highly toxic materials. They often work over a dozen hours a day, six days a week, with no provisions and no legal arrangements, in locked buildings they cannot leave even in face of danger. The risk with their health and with their lives just so that we can buy a cheap t-shirt. And then, tragedies occur, like the one in Rana Plaza where over one thousand people were killed in a clothing factory building collapse. When we buy cheap clothes, we are playing with people's lives and well-being and on the most basic level, on human dignity.

Their need to work, their need to earn money is being misused, they are being treated as slaves. They need to be treated with as much respect as any other working professional would  - be it the working hours/ safe working conditions/ health benefits/ sick leave.

To be continued...

Women: 3. The Martyr

This is the third part in the series. Earlier parts - Part 1. Part 2.

The Martyr

The Martyr - a woman who thinks people are judging them based on how good a wife/ mother/ daughter/ daughter-in-law/ sister-in-law she is and she cares about the opinions and then tries to be a perfectionist, treats the man of the house as the 'man of the house' who is never asked to (or given an ultimatum to) share his share of responsibilities, she tries to show that she is the best daughter-in-law, mother, and whatnot and then juggles everything and kills herself in the process. 

I am sorry, I have to say this - I pity all those women who take pride in doing a job, taking care of kids, keeping the house spotless, cooking - all on their own.

I respect women who get help, 'ask' men to take care of their share of chores, men have two hands and brains so I bet they can manage to do the dishes, laundry, cooking, and whatnot, it is not rocket science after all.

From what I hear there are crazy men out there who deny to own their share or laugh at men who they see cleaning dishes, I couldn't/wouldn't have survived with such an idiot, I don't know how women do that. But again, being financially independent gives you the flexibility, if you do not want to spend your life with such an idiot then you will always have a choice.

I respect women who do not take pride in sacrificing their dreams and aspirations or do not feel guilty in asking for sharing equal responsibilities.

I would say quit trying to be perfect, it is never going to happen.  As long as you are being yourself and trying your best, it is enough, you do not need to suffice to the expectations defined for the gender role (gender roles are history). Just like all the men in your life, you too have one life and at the end of this, there is no award for being perfect. There is, however, the satisfaction of having lived your life to the fullest, if you accept that you are flawed, just like everyone else and that there is nothing wrong with asking for the fair deal of sharing half responsibilities and speaking up that you will not suffice to gender roles.

To be continued...

Dress: Ann Taylor, Tights: Target, Shoes: Ellen Tracy, Jacket: J crew

Dress also worn here

Health

I was fat, unhealthy and unfit. When I saw myself in the mirror or in photos, I cringed. How did I let myself go? I was low on energy/ stamina, catching something or the other in a loop. One day I felt ‘enough is enough, I need to take control of my health and not let my health control me’. Human bodies are magical, if you put your mind to it, it isn’t hard to achieve health.

I am not the top of the game as I write this, but I have come a long way. I have come down from 179 pounds to 132, from feeling sick and lethargic every day to a lot better. I feel healthier, fitter, slimmer and lighter than before. Physical health also improves ones' mental health (it goes the other way round too).

I did not run marathons nor did I starve myself. I just incorporated regularity in my exercise schedule and a personal pledge to eat right.

It would be nice if more and more people exercised, did some sort of work out. You don't have to make it to a triathlon or become a weightlifter. Do whatever you like. But exercise.

Recently I read an article that fitness and health are two different things, fitness indicates athletic qualities, people who can play a sport for 4-5 hours every day are fit but might be popping a hundred pills a day of various kind, fit people are not necessarily healthy - physically and mentally, what I strive and work for is health.

The feeling of health is one that cannot be matched. It is only after you start working out, that you realize how underutilized the human body is. On the first day, you might feel devastated to realize that your magnificent looking or feeling body is actually not capable of lifting even five pounds. But after a few days of training, you will be amazed at how the body does exactly the same things with absolute ease. And such a realization is a triumph.

If you have made your way towards signifying and prioritizing exercise in the routine then you are building a healthier future. You will see the prominent effects of exercising, your body will be beautiful from within. A beautiful heart, beautiful lungs, an absolutely stunning vascular system! And although your hair will grey and skin will wrinkle, your smile will be free of worries and your life - free of disease!

Skirt: J crew factory, Tights: Target, Shoes: Ellen Tracy, Top: Ann Taylor, Jacket: don't remember

Girl Code

Never hate a woman you have never met.

Never date a friend's ex. Unless you don't want her as your friend.

Never reveal another female's secret.

Never leave an inebriated friend alone at a bar.

Never invite a friend's enemy to the party. You gotta stay together to survive the war :-).  

Never dine alone with a friend's boyfriend or husband. Unless she is dead.  

Never stay quiet when a friend is falling for an asshole. You will be cleaning the mess later anyways.  

Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man or never trust a girlfriend who is having an extra-marital affair. There are simply no excuses.  

Never give constructive criticism in public. Give it to her in person.  And most importantly -

Never treat other women disrespectfully. It gives men ideas.

5 combos from 2016 that did not make it to the blog at that time - 

Angela's Ashes

A man dies leaving 9 kids for his wife to take care of, there isn't much money left for them to survive. There is poverty, no food, hardly any clothes to wear, one kid dies because of malnutrition, the wife is devastated. I did not tell you the story of the book, that is the story of my grandmother. We all have heard a similar story, from someone or the other. But here is the thing, my grandmother (Maai as we called her) was no Angela. She took control of the situation, worked in people's houses as a maid, every kid did a little bit something to provide for the family - sewing, cooking, my father worked as a typist.

Here is my problem with Angela's Ashes, I can not identify with people who sit in a corner and blame their horoscope, parents, siblings, government for the troubles they go through. I identify with Maai, the strong characters, who do not complain or whine, they take charge, they take action. And so I disliked the character, Angela, in this book. I like stories of fighters, I identify with them. (But the truth of the matter is we all have been an Angela sometime or the other and many Angelas exist around us).

I started reading this book because everyone I talk to books about has read it, I kept reading it thinking Angela will spring into action now. But 500 pages is quite a wait.

This is a heart-wrenching story of hungry kids and the reason why it works is that the way it is told, it is quite light and bright and unique, I had a smile all throughout the book, no wonder it won the Pulitzer Prize. From what I gather it is not fiction but a memoir.

My rating is 3/5.

Shoes: Vaneli, Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Top: Ann Taylor

Vanity Femininity

Were you told since childhood to be tough to be taken seriously and be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with a man? and tough means don't waste your time on vanity, wearing lipstick is a waste of time. I don't know about you but I was told this by many. I never understood how dressing a certain way would reflect my intellect/ strength or merit.

I have seen well dressed, well-done-hair women with makeup, totally own an important office meeting, or bowl over in an intellectual discussion/argument, come first in exams, when they work, behave or open their mouth they deliver. Wearing dresses, skirts, makeup does not take away from a woman's intellect or strength. Women are vulnerable, emotional, compassionate and at the same time tough irrespective of what they choose to wear.

I feel as comfortable in dresses and skirts as much as I do in pantsuits. And overall I am very feminine in my dressing, actions, reactions, feelings. Your version of femininity might be different from mine, whatever your version of femininity is - embrace it. Do not let anyone tell you that you need to dress a certain way to be taken seriously. Our femininity is not our weakness. Dressing or behaving like a man does not necessarily imply that one is powerful.

If you have followed my blog then you might already know that I am a vocal feminist, and yet I don't think dressing/looking/behaving like a man 'on purpose/ without our wishes' is a way to go about it. The whole point of feminism is, yes - we are different from you and yet we are equals...

(Comment section was disabled on this blog for a long time but now you can comment/ reply on any post. I would love to hear your feedback/ criticism/ opinions... thank you for reading!)

Top: Ann Taylor, Jegging: American Eagle, Shoes: BareTraps

Success

What exactly is success? Money? Fame? Career? Peace of mind?

When someone says 'oh you are so successful', what does it really mean? Can't success mean different things for every individual? What someone defines as our success can very well be reflecting their own aspiration and/or dream. For you, it might not mean as much as it would to the spectator of your life. So when someone says 'you are successful' it is their perception of our life and its stages.

When someone has reached a high-level position at work A might say that that someone is so successful but B might think that that someone is compromising on his health, family and mental peace which B has the luxury for, so he perceives that he might not be at a high-level position but he is more successful than that someone. I think you get the gist.

And when one asks themselves 'am I successful?', would the answer ever be a 'yes'? If we are truly on the quest to be our best, then would we ever label any stage of our life as 'success'?  I have come to believe that success is a mirage, an illusion that doesn't actually exist.

 Thoughts?

Skirt: ann taylor, sweater: promod, tights: target, shoes: Macys

Ecosystem

Our ecosystem relies on a self-regulating balance of predators and prey. This system worked well with humans and their prey until we began inhumane farming practices that compromise the well-being of animals, the health of humans and the health of our planet. If you eat nonveg then opt for organic meat - the key requirements of organic meat are -

• Animals should be raised organically on certified organic land


• they must be fed certified organic feed


• No antibiotics or added growth hormones are allowed and


• All animals have outdoor access

Jeans: Abercrombie and Fitch, Shoes: Vaneli, Top: Ann Taylor, Sweater: Nordstrom Rack

Highschool Sweethearts....

I think while it is great that some people are high school sweethearts and they find love early in life and stick-it-out till the end, personally, I am happy with all the experiences - the first crush, emotional upheaval, broken hearts - the whole nine yards. Having those experiences made me feel alive and made life interesting. So it is definitely worth having gone through it all. I wouldn't trade it for anything but ... I would not go back to that either... I feel a lot of people choose the same - they keep the amazing memories but let the people go because people grow up differently, as they figure out who they are, they end up wanting different things in life.

Skirt: Ann Taylor (12 years old), Shoes: DSW (11 years old), Sweater: Modcloth, Tights: Target

Gut Health

All disease begins in the gut, and all diseases must be addressed by improving gut health.

2 combos:

Top: Ann Taylor, Jeans: American Eagle, Shoes: Steve Madden

Shoes: Kelly and Katie

Busyness

In your recent interactions with people have you answered the simple question “How are you?” with some variation of  “I’m so busy!” What happened to the good old, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”. Do we somehow think that being “busy” is a symbol of status and importance?

Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; it is our way to tell people that our life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if we are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.

When we say 'I am busy' it sets a wrong tone to the conversation too, because if we are so busy then it creates distance even before one starts the conversation (my opinion), why would anyone want to take our time in small talk if we are so busy.

The truth is that being busy all the time is counterproductive. Our brains need space to think clearly and strategically. If we are caught up in the busy trap then it actually means that we are constantly reacting to tasks, accept whatever the day throws at us, being part of something that we don't even want to do, instead of making purposeful choices about what to do with our time.

We need to stop the glorification of busy and not let the activities/ social events/ tasks choose us, but we choose them. We should make the choice to be less busy and schedule some time to reset, relax and give our mind the space it needs to think creatively, to come up with great ideas and to just rejuvenate. Every time we tell ourselves (or others) that we are too busy, we should stop and think about what we are really saying and think about everything that is cluttering up our calendar and our to-do list and decide to do only what is important. We just might discover the joy of being less busy.

2 combos:

Stripes Dress, Orange Shoes

Dress: J crew, Shoes: Mix No. 6

Orange Shoes

Artist Crop - American Eagle, Top - Ann Taylor, Shoes - Mix No. 6

Same dress...

Do you find it weird to wear the same dress to every party? I never found it unnatural to repeat party clothes. In last 12-13 years I have worn the same ethnic dress to every other Indian get together, and the same western dress to every other holiday party that I made to. It’s okay with me, trust me nobody remembers! And if anyone happens to then you should be happy that they notice your hard work - that you are able to fit in the same dress for so many years ;-).

2 combos:

Dress: Ann Taylor Factory (10 years old), Shoes: Etienne Aigner (8 years old)

Short: American Eagle, Top: Tommy Hilfiger, Shoes: Tommy Hilfiger