I attended many weddings in India since childhood, the only thing that I did in them was wearing nice clothes and makeup, changed clothes after every 1 hour and posed for photographs with my cousins. I never ever saw the rituals followed in weddings. It was too late by the time I realized that the rituals are outdated and beyond idiotic. If I had the knowledge of these kinds of rituals earlier then I would have protested outside every marriage hall instead of participating in the weddings. Here are the idiotic rituals which are still followed in weddings -
Kanya Daan – the father “gives” his daughter as a “gift” to the groom by placing the bride’s hand in the groom’s hand.
Who do you think you guys are to ‘Offer’, ‘Receive’, and ‘Bestow’? She isn't a thing or a piece of land or cattle to offer to someone else and who is this person to receive her? Ridiculous is the word that comes to my mind.
Our burden is now your burden is what the girl's family tells the groom's family. REALLY! What century do you guys live in?
Long ago, when the ritual was formed, was Kanya Daan a mere formality or was the ownership of women a fact of life? We don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that the concept of Kanyadaan exists even to this day. It remains not only symbolic of the ownership exercised over women by the male members of her family but also translates to practical life. Women are treated with authority by their birth family as well as by the husband’s family. Many married women are still required to take permission even to step out.
Kanyaadaan ritual needs to stop right away. If you are a single Hindu person then remember to protest against it in your own wedding.
Gruh Pravesh - Many Indian boys and girls live separate/ abroad/ different cities/ houses than the parents and the couple would also be living in a separate house than the groom's family and yet after the wedding rituals are over the groom takes the bride to his parent's house - this is called Gruh Pravesh - the groom's family welcoming the bride to their house. This sets a tone that the woman has now come to their house, now she belongs to their family - untrue - the boy and girl come together and build their own house and family, no one family owns the other person, no one person is going to the other family, it all is equal. Gruh Pravesh ceremonies need to be banned.
Mangalsutra/ Thali -
Tying of the mangalsutra or thali is done ONLY to the bride. The thread also comes to be linked to the husband’s health and long life. There is no marriage ritual that prays for the health and long life of the bride. Some women roam around in such ornaments, become Mrs. and take pride in being married, they change their last name to their husband's last name, like how an envelope gets stamped they get stamped too. Men live as Mr. all their life, why are you tagging women as Miss and Mrs. Why do women carry their marital status in their names? as if they are not worthy if you are not married. This is idiotic beyond words.
Changing the last name -
A crappy old tradition where women are first given the father's name and then they are given (today's women willingly accept) the husband's name. Then later on the child is given the father's name too... Stop this nonsense, stop changing your last name, name your child after you, either his/her middle name or last name needs to be yours. Be the change that you want to see in society, be a catalyst.
I leave a piece of my heart in every city I visit. Every place I go, I visit it with a curious and open mind. So far there hasn't been a city/ village/ town that I didn't like.
I feel connected to every other place in India, it will be another post if I want to write about India. Outside of India, my favorite city is London, because it is special. The first place that I visited outside of India was London.
Switzerland is my favorite country because it is extremely scenic and I went there on my own, walked the streets on my own, somewhere deep down in hope that I will find my Raj there - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge hangover! No need to tell you that I didn't find any Raj but figured out that traveling alone is so much fun.
Seattle obviously is very close to my heart. There is no place on earth like Seattle, the emerald city. I have lived in quite a few places and Seattle is where I have lived for the longest... which is more than 12 years.
New York felt like oxygen. But Paris my friends is magical. If I had to pick a city where I would like to go back and wander aimlessly and still stumble upon culture, history, museums, and charming neighborhoods it would definitely be Paris. I have so much ground to cover on this earth, but I am adding Paris, and France for that matter (Nice, Antibe, Canne), to the 'must go back again' list.
I feel that art is about the process and not the finished piece. The simple act of its creation is what is important. Just doing it is good. There should be no rules in art-making.
If ever there was a place that was meant to be free then it is the world of making art.
Most of us will agree that the sheer number of years we have lived has taught us varied experiences and has taught us some important truths. We come to know, for instance, that time really does mend broken hearts; that we can not take back the words we used so we had better take care in using them, and we should speak up or take action when something or someone doesn't feel right.
It also becomes clear life is not what we leave behind, that is history. Life is the living of it. Whether we are remembered by history or family or no one at all, we are here to live it now, in these moments when our hearts are beating in our chests, when our eyes gaze across the great skies…
Let's breathe in, laugh as much as possible, soothe our wounds and the wounds of others, love as truly as we can, take what this life has to offer and turn it into what we need, what has meaning for us… recognize the small but important moments in our lives when we are living them.
Stop waiting… Until your car or home is paid off; Until you get a new car or home; Until your kids leave the house; Until you go back to school; Until you finish school; Until you clean the house; Until you organize the garage; Until you clean off your desk; Until you lose 10 pounds; Until you gain 10 pounds; Until you get married; Until you get a divorce; Until you have kids; Until the kids go to school; Until you retire; Until summer; Until spring; Until winter; Until fall; Until you die…
There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.
I live in clean surroundings but I don't spend all my time on cleaning everything to the brim, prim and proper. There is so much to life than keeping the house spotless and this applies to so many other things, like gossiping, spending time around negativity and stuff like that.
I would rather exercise, read a book, watch a movie, write, paint, sing, dance, learn an instrument, learn a new language, go hiking, biking, meditate, be with the nature, travel, be around positive people, play board games, the list is endless...
Here is one of my favorite poem by Rose Milligan on the same topic -
“Dust if you must but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter,
Bake a cake or plant a seed.
Ponder the difference between want and need.
Dust if you must but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must but the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around again.
Dust if you must but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go and go you must, you, yourself, will make more dust.”
Love stays, relationships finish, and sometimes they last forever. Most of us have experienced it. Celebrate when it does but lovingly release it when it doesn’t.
Don't get sucked into negative relationships, burn the bridges, and move on. The most difficult part is knowing when to do that.
"Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." — William Jennings Bryan
2. I am a creature of habit and discipline, I do not like too many unpredictable things happening.
3. I do not do anything that does not bring me joy or rather I avoid doing the unnecessary things that bring me drama and stress.
4. If I don't want to do something, my answer is, "No!". "No" is the shortest complete sentence. It does not bother me even if people say straight away No.
5. I am not committed to making other people happy, especially the ones who have bizarre expectations and weirdest possible objections, it is impossible to make such people happy. The only people I am committed to making happy is me and my near n dear ones.
6. I have always been a voracious reader, but I do not read anything and everything, life is too short to read crap.
7. I do not switch on the TV for months in a row, I very rarely miss it.
8. I spend approximately 2 minutes each day on social media. I am subscribed to only 4 people on it. But I do spend about 30 minutes every week reading a few blogs that I like.
9. I type the blog posts and then they get published when they do. Like I am writing this post on April 2nd, 2018, I don't know when it will get scheduled to be published.
10. I recycle content and post ages-old articles from my old blog (rasikam.blogspot.com), no one notices that they are from 2005/2006, so works out for me ;-).
So what is the lesson here? None. Do what makes sense to you at that moment and brings you joy.
1. Emotional stability is great for everyday life but it sucks for writing. Because when nothing is bothering you, or getting on your nerves, what does one write about? But I guess I don't need to worry about that for years, my mind is always overworking, there is enough material to sustain this blog for years to come ;-)
2. Can I tell you a little secret? I take outfit posts for days in a row and then I don't for months, I get lazy to step out to take pictures when it is dark, gloomy, and cold. I still am able to sustain this blog because it's frequency is once or twice a week.
3. Even though I have been writing a blog for last so many years, my ultimate dream is to be a regular YouTuber, make videos and talk nonstop, about books, movies, issues, or anything that is on my mind.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr
My posts are never in real-time (not even this, this is written on 03/26/2018). I write my basic thoughts, then I ponder over them, then I type the post, then I schedule the post for some time in the future. Then the only time I edit the post is when I want to attach the photos were taken, which are not real-time again, they make it to the blog when I copy them from the camera and then edit them (crop, adjust lights, etc), I do not keep track of the date/time the posts will be published.
As I write this post - my blog posts are already scheduled till August 2020, so this post will make it to sometime after that. If I am run over by a bus tomorrow it won't affect the blog - the posts will continue to publish :-).
Qualities I believe someone who evokes natural beauty embodies:
1. An appreciation, enthusiasm for life! Easy going, happy go lucky people with an ability to find meaning in a simple, fleeting moment just as easily as they can in a large-scale or life-changing one…
2. A love for real food; which means enjoying your indulgences once in a while but who understand the importance of a balanced diet and quality of food and are disciplined about it.
3. A desire to challenge their mind and body. Expanding one's understanding via books and art or trying a new workout or a yoga pose. Who value physical, cognitive, and emotional growth.
4. An ability to walk out the door, with confidence and ready to conquer the world, every day!
The biggest irony about me being a blogger is that - I am a private person in personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with who.
I never was too specific about my life in this space and I never will be. The intention is not to be mysterious or cryptic but because I like to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible), and the same goes for updates on social profiles.
I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions.
I cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends) and they choose to talk about my posts in person with me. Even if it is all compliments (on my face at least). My online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect its contents with anyone in real life. :-).
Over the years I have learned that anything is possible for people who are disciplined. Discipline has many complementary traits as well like self-control, determination, and strong will power. Discipline also comes from priority. If you have led a disciplined life for the most parts then you are kind-of on an auto-pilot to lead a 'relatively' healthy and productive life, in present and in future too.
Here are my five reasons why I think saying what's on your mind is always the best way to go:
1. Silence is as good as approval. If you disapprove of something but not say anything about it, it is as good as enabling it.
2. People are not mind-readers. While you may think things are obvious, people might not view the world with your perspective.
3. You might not be the only one thinking about it.
4. Speaking your mind can be a huge stress relief. I am incapable of not speaking my mind, I have a great deal of anxiety if for some reason I don't speak. It drives me crazy. It becomes this whole thing which would have not even existed had I just spoken up. Speak up!
5. You would never have to say, “I wish I had said…”
Obviously, there is a way to put forth what you want to say. The above points are not applicable for saying just the disapproved things or just the things that are hurting you but the good things too :-).
Would we have been able to remember the details of our entire life? Would it still have been exciting? For how many days would we enjoy hobbies, jobs, relationships and learning new things? What if there was no end to it? Would life have been a dull experience then?
The stars, planets are the same for thousands of years just their names would keep changing.
Communication would still remain just the language that would change.
'Man from Earth' is the name of the movie. It revolves around 5-6 characters just sitting in a room and chatting. What a wonderful movie! Let me know if you like it.
Watercolors - what an unpredictable behavior. When mixed with water and applied on a paper their gait is revolutionized. You can not exactly know where they are going to spread. That is the reason they are most difficult and challenging to paint and providing with a feeling of achievement when completed.
Acrylics - They are glued wherever applied. They have a straightforward attitude and look really rich.
Oil colors - thick, beautiful and attractive. They do not dry for days. I find them adjusting because I can modify them until they dry and also keep on adding layers on them when they dry.
Charcoal colors - They look rustic. They go with rudimentary drawings. These smooth colors which bestow rough texture snub to mix with other charcoal colors. They express their anguish on the paper if tried to mix.
Every painting technique has a uniqueness and similarly, every color has its own individuality. Every color has some comrades and a few foes. When the friends are juxtaposed they make each other appear charming. When two enemies are put side by side they don't just make their own manifestation dull but also spoil the appearance of the other.
For a painting to look pleasant it is important for the friends to be next to each other. A painting doesn't look delightful if it is ruled by just one color. Every showpiece loses it's own identity if the room is occupied by several other showpieces with the same color. Faint yellow sandals would look smart if you are wearing a sky blue dress, both will then have their own intrepid, bold guise.
Think about people, are they just black and white? They have different colors and shades of those colors in them. Those colors and their shades are revealed based on the situations, sometimes dark sometimes faint.
Life is a celebration of colors. It is as vibrant as any colorful painting. There are white dull moments and so we enjoy the blue serene instances. There are black gloomy occurrences and so we wait for the green joyful occasions.
I hope my personality is not painted with lone color, and not one single color overpowers my life. I hope I keep getting some experiences that are rudimentary and rustic like charcoal, some events like oil colors, adjusting but beautiful, some like acrylics - straightforward and rich, a few happenings like watercolors - unpredictable and challenging!
Do we like different creations of nature based on the state of our mind?
Sometimes ruffled look of a waterfall brings tears in my eyes, sometimes it makes me feel peaceful and at times the same bustling look of the waterfall makes me perturbed.
Just a glance at a lake makes me feel serene, the green color of the trees makes my mind feel relaxed. At times I travel distances just to get a glimpse of this splendor and at times I pass by lakes and trees and do not even bother to take a peek at it. Why does the disquiet or the passive form of nature make us feel blissful or dejected?
The water of an aroused river but I can't swim, Green are the mountains but I can not loll on it, Clear blue skies invite me and I can't fly!
At times I think what is the meaning of life and then I come across some exuberant sight of nature. That makes me feel life is beautiful and even if meaningless it is worth living...
When I go home I lock the door and fling the keys wherever.
When it is time to go out it takes me 5 minutes to get ready and 10 minutes to find the keys. In our frenzied and hectic lives, I think we do the same with our memories. We create different compartments in our minds and keep them filling unconsciously with various memories, experiences, events, and feelings. We lock these compartments and let them corrode. In our mechanical and chaotic life, it rarely happens that the memories are revived when we are relaxing. Just so that our life doesn’t become too impassive our mind, oblivious to us, hides the keys to all its compartments in distinct places. These keys take us instinctively to past memories. You might have experienced this…
A gentle breeze comes from somewhere and leaves by opening one of the compartments of our mind. And then the mind takes off and circles around the similar kind of breeze experienced in the past.
The mind also conceals some keys in various odors. The scent of the earth after the rain might take you to the woods of your hometown. One key is buried in the sense of touch. The touch of the blanket made from my mother’s Saree still makes me feel her warmth.
Sometimes the keys are in different sounds. If we listen to even the sound of a swirling sea then the next moment we might find ourselves lying on the beaches or spinning in the waves of Konkan / Goa (might be Hawaii for you). At times you listen to a familiar song and immediately remember the memory of yourself dancing in a concert.
And at times the keys are masked in various names. If you read/ hear one of it then it instantly opens the locks and fetches the memories related to it – pleasant, ghastly, wounding, insulting, gracious…
One of the names may perhaps embrace the ‘master key’ and it stirs up all the memories.
And in the middle of all this suddenly we become conscious of reality. We grab our running mind, gather the cluttered memories, lock them in the compartments and fling the keys!
Time is loping rapidly. I have given up my attempts to make it take a breather. I am trying hard to match my speed with time.
Sometimes I take a quick break and watch time dashing by. Why doesn’t it go slow? How come it is never exhausted? Why doesn’t it just linger for a while? They say to make it big you need to be on your toes continuously. But if we don’t put our feet up how will we observe our contest with time.
I have stopped dreaming to win in my race with time. I start rushing from the time I wake up. I plan the ‘to do’ things for the day during my jog with milliseconds.
In this scuttle, I just touch a few places and run and at places, I lurk a bit while on run. As if the entire day’s scurry is not enough; my mind starts running at night. It visits different places and people while I am asleep. When my mind gets tired with the body, my brain starts its gallop. Sometimes I write articles, poems and plans for the coming days in my dreams.
Time keeps up with its flow but though not tired I stop at times; to absorb the ‘emotions’ related to the happenings during the day… and just to observe their presence in life…
I do not believe in 'love at first sight' or 'love at first meet'. For there to be love... there needs to be togetherness. There is a difference between attraction and love, attraction can lead to affinity, which people can mistake for love. In my opinion, if attraction and affinity are followed by togetherness and the attraction and affinity still stays unaffected... then that state is called love.
2. Can humans live with just a beautiful body or they crave the companionship of beautiful thoughts? I don't know about others but I easily get attracted to smiling faces with progressive thoughts, the good-natured people. With their intelligence, positivity, good nature and thinking they will make you grow as a person too. For me people with rotten attitudes and negative approaches are reproachful ... how-much-ever good looking they might be.
3. I have said this many times and I think that analogy fits in here perfectly...If you want to look good then buy gold but if you want to turn into gold... then look for the philosopher's stone.
Most of the skirts that I have were a size or two bigger for me (after I lost oodles of weight). I sewed them from one side, I don’t think anyone can tell by looking at any of them that they are adjusted. Basic sewing skills and a sewing machine definitely comes in handy.
‘Quality sewing and vacuum’ store provides free classes to teach machine set up which was helpful for me as the new computerized machines are a lot different than the manual sewing machine that I was used to.
Anyway, the point is if something isn't broken or can be fixed, then there is no reason to look for a replacement.
I am pretty darn happy with all my life choices. I like where the path has led me with the decisions that I have made.
One and the only reason why I am at peace with my choices is that I NEVER compare my life to anyone else's. My life is my own. I am here due to 'the family I was born in, the country I was born in, the personality I was born with, and then what I did with all of the variables that life offered me. No two people have the same starting point. Not even twins. So the question of comparing and resenting doesn't arise.
If one is set out on the path of comparing and resenting about the starting points that life gave them then there is no end to it. I could have sat in a corner each day and wondered why was I born in a village, not a city, why did I have to do my early schooling in schools with no walls, why not those huge posh convents, why didn't my father have any money to send me to good schools and why wasn't I born to Amitabh Bachchan instead. You see what I am saying... there is no end to it. All I need to do is compare myself ... with me... the past me.
I need to see my start point and compare it with the current me and ask myself do I see growth?
As long as I am actively choosing growth - physical, mental, intellectual, spiritual and emotional in every moment and learning from every mistake, I count that as a successful life choice.
All I would say is there is nothing positive about envying anyone. Everyone has their own path. Do what makes you happy. Everyday. Choose the path of growth and rest will follow.
It is ironic that humans, despite being ‘God’s’ most sublime (intellectual) creation, are just still animals at the core, their behavior is driven to a great extent by a quest of creature comfort. We comfort our physical bodies in hopes our souls will follow. People overindulge in the primary temptations of the body primarily food and sex and with the rise of the internet and cheap designer drugs more temptations have arisen.
In the beginning, my writing was confined in a 100-page diary. I wrote about what I did during the day, what I wore and mostly it was the reflection of all the feelings that I went through. We gaze at ourselves in the mirror once in a while, just like that whenever I get a chance I go through the old pages of my diary, to look for that innocent naive existence of me, it is not lost, I have it preserved - in my diary.
Sometimes an emotion takes over us and then we stop listening to our brain and do what the heart tells us to. That emotion can be anything, love, anger, vengeance or rage. The brain stops functioning logically when the heart starts to rule, and then we start dancing to the tunes of our emotions.
I am a common (wo)man who has experienced the battles between the brain and mind. All of these battles, struggles, fights are witnessed by my diary, and most of the battles end in the diary too. Those white papers have the power to calm me down. Stress at work, at home, my principles or the tangled relationships, thrilling-sad-funny-happy experiences and all sorts of ideas - the diary knows it all.
She bears with my anger and love both with equal poise. She listens. Everyone goes through struggles but she constantly gives me the courage to get up and try again. I am not a quiet person, sometimes I feel I talk way too much and I should let others do some talking too, but with the diary, I speak my innermost feelings. My parents have a big role to play in the kind of person I am today and my diary has a solid part in the kind of person I am not. Because I don't avenge, speak badly, with anger, just because I get to express it to the diary. She is my venting mechanism. Most of the storms relinquish in it.
She also developed a liking for creation in me.
I see the memories of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow in my diary. She provides me the kind of support I need to be at peace and not just superficially. In real life, I do not abide by the rules of society, and I am the same with my diary... even more so. I have had an inferiority complex ever since I remember but the diary provides me a surge of confidence every time I express myself to her.
There are loads of advantages of writing a diary, even psychiatrists prescribe it to patients going through depression. I highly recommend picking up the habit of writing a journal/ diary, even if it's just 4 lines every day!
I loved to read since I was very young, perhaps because even though we have just one life, I wanted to be on that spaceship to the moon, I wanted to go 20,000 leagues under the sea, I wanted to drink tea with Alice in Wonderland and learn a magic spell from Harry Potter. And this love of reading defined the entire course of my life eventually.
Innumerable brilliant men/women have left the fingerprints of their minds for us so that we can absorb that information and build on it; all we have to do is open a book and begin.
I had an aversion towards Sci-Fi books, I had read a few like ‘a wrinkle in time’, ‘ender’s game’, ‘Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the galaxy’ - all of these are well-known books, however, I did not enjoy reading them. I picked up ‘The Martian’ with reluctance and I absolutely loved it, I realized I do enjoy Sci-Fi after all, only if chosen wisely :). I am now open to reading sci-fi and the ones that really liked are - Replay, The Martian, Recursion and Dark matter.
Some avid readers say they read anything and everything, well I don’t. Life is too short to read anything and everything also once we start reading and appreciating quality stuff like Ayn Rand and Richard Dawkins it is hard to read anything and everything.
Before I read this book I had never read the genre called chick-lit - The genre often addresses issues of modern womanhood – from romantic relationships to female friendships to matters in the workplace – in humorous and lighthearted ways. Chick-lits became my guilty pleasure, however, I haven’t found a better writer in this genre than Sophie Kinsella. Sometimes I do hate the women characters in her books - who by chance meet millionaire bachelors and end up becoming rich and whatnot, but I still read all her books. Finding Audrey is one of my favorites. Fiona Gibson is another writer that I like in this genre.
My father had the entire set of P.G. Wodehouse books at home, I was too curious to read P.G. but had doubts if I will understand it, considering it is the British comedy. Sometimes without even trying something we unnecessarily feel that we won’t be able to do it. So anyway, before reading P.G. I watched the TV show ‘Jeeves and Wooster’ - it gave me an idea of the mannerism, style, lifestyle that the British at that point of time had. After watching the show I started reading P.G. and now I am a complete fan. He has written 100+ books and I want to read them ALL.
P.G. has filled my life with humor, I read at least ten pages of P.G. before going to bed, it relaxes my mind before sleeping. Life is so playful, silly, light and fun if we look at that side of it. If I ever write a book then my style would be largely influenced by P.G.
Some great books by P. G. are The code of Woosters, Right Ho Jeeves, Carry on Jeeves, Stiff upper Lip Jeeves, Joy in the morning, Aunts aren't gentlemen, How right you are Jeeves, Thank you Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves, Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, The mating season, Ring for Jeeves, Laughing gas, The girl in blue, Big Money, and many more.
This was the first book that I read in the self-help book category. I was then at a perfect age to read self-help books. When I look back at myself in my teens, I don’t resemble that person even a bit, I have grown up to be so different, part of it definitely is life experiences, people that I met and the self-help books that I read.
Self-help books give you different perspectives on the world around you and how you interact with people, your environment and yourself. Most of the time, these books are a life's accumulation of knowledge by some pretty brilliant people. But don't take everything in the self-help books to be the ultimate truth. It is just another point of view, a way of thinking. You sure learn things from books but use the perspective you gain cumulatively along with your real-life experiences and experiences of others to shape your core values. It's those core values that will help you be a better person. Books are just one of the various tools, and an important one, in that process. Always stay open and keep learning. If you are an avid reader of self-help books balance your reading across different topics. E.g read about money but also read about the soul, read about productivity but also read about mindfulness. This will help you gain more from each book.
Who moved my cheese is the first book that I read in this genre and so it remains close to my heart. Some of my favorite self-help books are - The power of your subconscious mind, Power of positive thinking, Seven habits of highly effective people, Grow younger live longer, Rich dad poor dad, Tough times never last but tough people do, I am okay you are okay, Eat that frog, How to win friends and influence people, The four agreements, Grit: The power of passion and perseverance, Count your chickens before they hatch, The Happiness Project, Feeling Good, and my most favorite is Essentialism - the pursuit of less.
Yes! A book by Chetan Bhagat is on my list! I am saying this guilt-free that I loved this book and that is why I kept reading all his next books - until 3 mistakes of my life - after that I gave up. But anyway, this book opened a new avenue of books for me - English books which were written by Indian writers. Then I read books by Jhumpa Lahiri, Arvind Aadiga, Amitav Ghosh, Abraham Verghese, Salman Rushdie, Sudha Murthy, Deepak Chopra, Anurag Mathur (I love his book The inscrutable Americans). I was blown away by the ‘Palace of illusion’ - the rendition of Mahabharata from a female perspective. ‘Palace of illusion’ emphasized the prominence of how every story is multidimensional and everyone’s point of view is equally valid and interesting, Palace of Illusion remains amongst the top five books that I have ever read.
As a kid I had innumerable questions for my parents, why is there life? Why does the world exist? What is God? If God created us then who created God? Why do you worship these idols? I did not feel even an ounce of faith and was made to be part of worships, prayers, and whatnot. When I expressed that I do not think that the idols people worship exist or ever existed - I was warned that bad things happen to people who say such things. After hearing that I did not create a scene ever again because I was afraid.
I was afraid that I was the ignorant one and maybe there is truth to what everyone around me believes and follows, whenever something bad happened to me I felt guilty that it happened because I do not believe in God. Fear tactics. It was a frustrating phase for me.
Richard Dawkins is the man who helped me understand that it is perfectly normal to question the existence of a creator. I can not thank him enough for pulling me out of my quandary and feeding me with all that easy to understand knowledge. And I have to thank my brother too who introduced me to books by Dawkins.
Today I am a non-closeted atheist who is not afraid of any fear tactics. People are killed in the name of God/ religion more than any natural calamities.
And then started the phase of reading loads of science books - I read all books by Richard Dawkins and by many more scientists. Brief history of time, Short History of Nearly Everything, Mapping human history, The Sun’s heartbeat, The blind watchmaker, The magic of reality, The ancestor's tale, Universe from nothing: why is there something rather than nothing, Pale blue dot, Demon-haunted world, Physics of the impossible, The elegant universe, Why does the world exist, The god delusion, Death by a black hole, Astrophysics for People in a hurry… are all great books.
I was asked in an interview at my first job, which book influenced you the most? And this was the book I said influenced me the most and the weird thing is even after reading so many books from then and now this book still remains the one that has influenced me the most.
It is a true story of Frank Gilbreth who brought the idea of time management into industries, he was a time and motion expert. He always thought of a more efficient process that can be followed to take care of any given task or chore, be at work or at home. He also brought the idea of parallel tasking in industries.
For example, Gilbreth used to play German language learning cassettes when his youngest kid (who would be 4 at the time) took shower, that would be 15 minutes every day and by the time the kid was 16, he was fluent in German without spending any extra minute over it.
Till today I try to form an efficient process for everything that I do and parallel task all the time. I can not work in an atmosphere where availability is more important than efficiency.
Anyway, the book is called Cheaper by the dozen because Frank had a dozen kids. Frank was asked in an interview ‘what you do with so much time that you save by doing everything efficiently and faster?’ He said in that time I do things that I like, drink wine and listen to music (and apparently make kids too ;-) ).
If it was not for this book then I would never have been able to do the 100 things that I want to achieve every day.
I don’t read anything and everything now, life is too short to do that and there is a lot of quality available, but it wasn’t always the case for me, not until I conquered the language barrier.
I had read enough Marathi books, so when I went to the library I had read most of the books by good writers and had to read books by ‘Popatrao Bhase’ because I wanted to read something new. If you haven’t read books by ‘Popatrao’ then you wouldn’t know the level of low-grade books I had started to read. And that is when I saw my second brother, also from Marathi medium, read an English book called Atlas Shrugged. I decided to give it a try, and boy oh boy how glad am I that I did.
It took me 8 months to finish reading this book - considering it was my first English book and I wasn't accustomed to the language and also because the book is huge.
From the first scene in this book where a girl gets out of a train and is teased by some men for questioning why the train stopped working, and then she shuts them up by saying she is Dagny Taggart - the owner of the train that they are traveling in. From that first scene onwards every scene in the book gave me goosebumps, it made the feminist in me proud too. I do not want to divulge the plot in case you are planning to read this book. But the basic theme is about creators and leeches, creators are ignored by the public, that is by us, and leeches are worshipped who exist because of the creators. This book was written in the ’50s and one can not help but wonder the kind of vision Ayn Rand had, the theme applies to today’s world too.
And then the next book I read was ‘Fountainhead’, again by Ayn Rand. A man who doesn’t let go of his principles and values, can he attain success? Considering everyone around us is ‘compromising’ some way or the other. At one point I got so mad at the man that I threw the book to the floor (I do not remember doing this to any other books that I read), such are the emotions that Ayn Rand makes the readers go through. I read Fountainhead a couple of times after that and it remains one of my favorite books.
I enjoyed reading many English books after that - like Animal Farm, Alchemist, Pride and Prejudice, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Da Vinci Code, Veronica decides to die, Tell me your dreams and many more.
I did my schooling in Marathi medium so the obvious choice of books for me was Marathi. I started reading ‘Chandoba’, ‘Champak’, king queen stories then followed by treasure hunt books like ‘Khajinyacha Shodh’. My reading did not evolve from that phase for a long time.
Then it happened that my eldest brother would read a book in the evenings and laugh out loud. I noticed that the books that he was reading were written by Pu. La. Deshpande. So out of curiosity, I picked up one of his books called ‘Batatyachi Chaal’, to find out why my otherwise serious brother laughed so much.
When I read Batatyachi Chaal it opened a new exciting avenue of books for me. I read all the books by Pu. La. and then by some amazing Marathi writers, Va. Pu. Kale and Suhas Shirwalkar are my favorites.
75% of the parents want their children to start reading books for fun, but I think mostly those pick up the habit of it at an early age who see their family read books for fun. You can not tell the children ‘eat healthy food’ or exercise, they are simply following you, as the phrase goes ‘raise yourself before you raise your kids’. I started reading because that is what I saw my family members do and reading is contagious.
There are a lot of benefits of reading - reading boosts brain power, it helps you to relax, it makes you more empathetic, it can help you sleep better, it obviously gives knowledge, what I also like about reading is I get to live a different life that I wouldn’t have otherwise experienced. Reading is definitely one of my first and foremost passions. The books that I read have a large part to play in defining the person that I am today (even more than the people in my life).
If I had to select the books that I loved it will be a very long list, so I decided to write a post on 9 books that influenced me and my reading patterns over the years. The post turned out to be very long too so I decided to post it in parts.
Counterpart - Too slow, gave up halfway. Dark is a far better show (based on a similar theme). 1/5.
Mr. Robot Loved the first season then it got boring and tiring. 2/5.
The Middle Hilarious. I have seen all seasons and laughed out loud in every episode. 4/5.
Blackish Great theme, bad actors, it needs better actors with better chemistry. Some shows were laughing out loud funny but again needs better actors. 3/5.
It is a glossy, very well made, mystery melodrama. I love it. 5/5.
The Crown
I know everyone is going gaga over 'the crown' but I don't understand why. Is there anything extraordinary that the queen did so the viewer needs to see a tv show based on her life? I didn't find her life interesting. 2/5.
The Handmaid's Tale
Astounding, marvelous, superb, no television event has hit such a nerve. 5/5.
The biggest irony about me being a blogger is that - I am a private person in personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with who.
It is ironic that humans, despite being ‘God’s’ most sublime (intellectual) creation, are just still animals at the core, their behavior is driven to a great extent by a quest of creature comfort. We comfort our physical bodies in hopes our souls will follow. People overindulge in the primary temptations of the body primarily food and sex and with the rise of the internet and cheap designer drugs more temptations have arisen.
I don’t read anything and everything now, life is too short to do that and there is a lot of quality available, but it wasn’t always the case for me, not until I conquered the language barrier.
