People

While pondering over the topic of 'people' I figured out a very important thing about myself and that is: I do not like or dislike people. No really! I don't.

But I like 'me' when I am around some people, I like the way I feel around them, where I talk a lot, laugh a lot, express my inner thoughts without worrying about being observed or judged, where I am being myself without being afraid if I will be accepted or not, and then there is a bunch of people in whose company I dislike 'me', I ain't my usual self, I go quiet, I feel awkward, uncomfortable, drained, stressed, observed or judged.

As you might already know by now that I am a staunch non-believer but it doesn't bother me to be around believers, commonality is not what adds to my comfort, I can be a polar opposite from the other person and yet feel at home around them, so much so that I can express my polar opposite thoughts without having to think twice. The company I am with doesn't have to be perfect, sensible, most intelligent or awesome for me to like 'me'.

In a nutshell - I know how to ignore people's whimsies when I don't have to curb mine :-)

Do you see what I am saying? Does that happen to you? Do you like or dislike 'you' when around certain people and not necessarily like or dislike the people you are with? And but obviously, I base my relationships based on how I like 'me' with the person more than how the person is with me. I think you get the gist.

The sexist Hindu traditions

 

Thank you for your patience...

Yes, this post is about patience. Patience is a virtue... we all have been taught that, and what I have to say about it is patience sucks!

I feel I was largely a patient person in my younger days but with age what I am losing is not my hair (not yet) but my patience. You know back in the day I would watch a movie like Anjaam or Duplicate, come out of the theatre after three hours and say to my friends 'uh it was alright, do you want to go for dinner?'. That's it!

Now you dare show me an Anjaam or a Duplicate, first of all, I won't go until Anupama Chopra's review is out.. and if she has given a 4-star rating, (she gave a 3-star rating to Befikre so it has to be 4+), so never a first-day first show for me... unless it's an Amir Khan movie, and if I go to a Duplicate I will walk out of the movie in 20 minutes or maybe 10.

Now I don't read anything and everything like back in the good old day, life is too short to do that, I lose my patience instantly if I am made to read '50 shades of gray'. I also was very patient with people back in the day, now it doesn't matter to me if you are famous or rich or if we are related, I have to have my wavelength match with the person otherwise what I lose is my patience. I don't hang on to relationships anymore just because I have to.

But here is the thing, I might be impatient with loads of things around me, movies and books... they are trivial things in life after all, but with age, I have learned to use my depleted patience levels for the right things.

For example, I was an impatient person back in the day for many other things... If say you are learning to play an instrument you will know the kind of hard work and commitment it involves. I used to learn violin, and I play other instruments too but I found playing violin in particular very difficult, I used to get frustrated, every time I took a small step forward and improved, I would barely savor the achievement and would once again get upset with anything I saw as a failure. Same goes for whatever I did... But now with time, I am more patient with things that matter, I don't expect to see instant results, also I am very patient with people I love and the ones who are worth the effort.

In the past, I have attempted to learn to swim many times, and every time I gave up after a month when I didn't make progress. Before you reach conclusions let me tell you I am extremely scared of water, but now I have been going swimming for the last 2 years, I am not great at it, but I can swim a short distance in shallow water without support. Hey and that's a big deal. I didn't give up.

Now I work out every single day, I have a good diet every day, from 180 pounds to 132 pounds, it took me only 9 years, and all that patience was worth because I am able to flaunt a crop top that I always wanted to... that is as shallow as it gets.

So I say patience is not a virtue; that makes it sound easy and light. Patience is hard and it takes practice. Patience is really about having the inner strength to stick to your guns, face your fears, repeatedly let go of internal expectations, and have trust that it will all work out in the end. 

Random Thoughts

 

When the surroundings are quiet what we experience is solitude and when we feel alone even in a group of people it is loneliness.

The storage of history, numbers, science is brain and the ability to throw away negativity is knowledge.

There are some people who are so full of life that they learn/ do/ create something new every second. They never complain of not finding time because time finds them.