Thursday, December 17, 2020
Saturday, December 12, 2020
The outdated rituals in Indian weddings
I attended many weddings in India since childhood, the only thing that I did in them was wearing nice clothes and makeup, changed clothes after every 1 hour and posed for photographs with my cousins. I never ever saw the rituals followed in weddings. It was too late by the time I realized that the rituals are outdated and beyond idiotic. If I had the knowledge of these kinds of rituals earlier then I would have protested outside every marriage hall instead of participating in the weddings. Here are the idiotic rituals which are still followed in weddings -
Kanya Daan – the father “gives” his daughter as a “gift” to the groom by placing the bride’s hand in the groom’s hand.
Who do you think you guys are to ‘Offer’, ‘Receive’, and ‘Bestow’? She isn't a thing or a piece of land or cattle to offer to someone else and who is this person to receive her? Ridiculous is the word that comes to my mind.
Our burden is now your burden is what the girl's family tells the groom's family. REALLY! What century do you guys live in?
Long ago, when the ritual was formed, was Kanya Daan a mere formality or was the ownership of women a fact of life? We don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that the concept of Kanyadaan exists even to this day. It remains not only symbolic of the ownership exercised over women by the male members of her family but also translates to practical life. Women are treated with authority by their birth family as well as by the husband’s family. Many married women are still required to take permission even to step out.
Kanyaadaan ritual needs to stop right away. If you are a single Hindu person then remember to protest against it in your own wedding.
Gruh Pravesh - Many Indian boys and girls live separate/ abroad/ different cities/ houses than the parents and the couple would also be living in a separate house than the groom's family and yet after the wedding rituals are over the groom takes the bride to his parent's house - this is called Gruh Pravesh - the groom's family welcoming the bride to their house. This sets a tone that the woman has now come to their house, now she belongs to their family - untrue - the boy and girl come together and build their own house and family, no one family owns the other person, no one person is going to the other family, it all is equal. Gruh Pravesh ceremonies need to be banned.
Mangalsutra/ Thali -
Tying of the mangalsutra or thali is done ONLY to the bride. The thread also comes to be linked to the husband’s health and long life. There is no marriage ritual that prays for the health and long life of the bride. Some women roam around in such ornaments, become Mrs. and take pride in being married, they change their last name to their husband's last name, like how an envelope gets stamped they get stamped too. Men live as Mr. all their life, why are you tagging women as Miss and Mrs. Why do women carry their marital status in their names? as if they are not worthy if you are not married. This is idiotic beyond words.
Changing the last name -
A crappy old tradition where women are first given the father's name and then they are given (today's women willingly accept) the husband's name. Then later on the child is given the father's name too... Stop this nonsense, stop changing your last name, name your child after you, either his/her middle name or last name needs to be yours. Be the change that you want to see in society, be a catalyst.
Kanya Daan – the father “gives” his daughter as a “gift” to the groom by placing the bride’s hand in the groom’s hand.
Who do you think you guys are to ‘Offer’, ‘Receive’, and ‘Bestow’? She isn't a thing or a piece of land or cattle to offer to someone else and who is this person to receive her? Ridiculous is the word that comes to my mind.
Our burden is now your burden is what the girl's family tells the groom's family. REALLY! What century do you guys live in?
Long ago, when the ritual was formed, was Kanya Daan a mere formality or was the ownership of women a fact of life? We don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that the concept of Kanyadaan exists even to this day. It remains not only symbolic of the ownership exercised over women by the male members of her family but also translates to practical life. Women are treated with authority by their birth family as well as by the husband’s family. Many married women are still required to take permission even to step out.
Kanyaadaan ritual needs to stop right away. If you are a single Hindu person then remember to protest against it in your own wedding.
Gruh Pravesh - Many Indian boys and girls live separate/ abroad/ different cities/ houses than the parents and the couple would also be living in a separate house than the groom's family and yet after the wedding rituals are over the groom takes the bride to his parent's house - this is called Gruh Pravesh - the groom's family welcoming the bride to their house. This sets a tone that the woman has now come to their house, now she belongs to their family - untrue - the boy and girl come together and build their own house and family, no one family owns the other person, no one person is going to the other family, it all is equal. Gruh Pravesh ceremonies need to be banned.
Mangalsutra/ Thali -
Tying of the mangalsutra or thali is done ONLY to the bride. The thread also comes to be linked to the husband’s health and long life. There is no marriage ritual that prays for the health and long life of the bride. Some women roam around in such ornaments, become Mrs. and take pride in being married, they change their last name to their husband's last name, like how an envelope gets stamped they get stamped too. Men live as Mr. all their life, why are you tagging women as Miss and Mrs. Why do women carry their marital status in their names? as if they are not worthy if you are not married. This is idiotic beyond words.
Changing the last name -
A crappy old tradition where women are first given the father's name and then they are given (today's women willingly accept) the husband's name. Then later on the child is given the father's name too... Stop this nonsense, stop changing your last name, name your child after you, either his/her middle name or last name needs to be yours. Be the change that you want to see in society, be a catalyst.
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