Friday, February 26, 2021

Assess your relationships

 

Assess your relationships from time to time.

Stepping on each other’s toes?  Frequently unhappy?  More and more conversations leaving a bad taste in your mouth?  Take a step back and try to be objective.

Ask yourself, Am I getting something valuable out of this relationship? Is there give and take? Am I being listened to? Do my thoughts and feelings count? Do I take the lead at least half the time? Is there an initiative from the other side - to meet, to connect, to talk? Am I respected in this relationship? Am I equal in this relationship? Am I being taken for granted? Do I get to make my own decisions about personal things that affect no one else? Do I feel supported and affirmed by the other person?

Answer the above questions honestly. Be willing to look at the truth.

Some relationships add value, some are neutral, and some only add drama/ stress/ negativity/ toxicity/ criticism. Life is too short and too beautiful to spend it around negativity, the world is full of beauty, amazing things to do, and superb people, no need to be around toxicity. Happiness is a choice and no one can make it for you, you yourself have to do it.

Do you feel you could’ve stopped some people from manipulating you sooner? Did you badly want to believe they were good?  If the truth is undesirable, that’s okay. That’s what we humans do – we make mistakes.

You can always change course and begin to work on reclaiming your happiness.

Friday, February 12, 2021

Catalyst

 

You know, I don't understand why married women put bindis, wear mangalsutra, change their lastnames and glorify the concept that they are married. Men don't do that. They are born a Mr. and die as a Mr.

Women are tagged as Miss or Mrs.Why???

Exist as an individual, with/without a man, you still are worthy. Customs need to change and each one of us has to become a catalyst.

Friday, January 29, 2021

Women and Reservations

Is the 30% reservation (in universities/ politics) a favor to women?

It is not.

Right to education, right to inheritance, rights to family name, right to performing the parents’ last rites, right to freedom, public spaces, traveling, right to self-reliance, right to second chances in life, remarriage, parental love, even right to be born have all been reserved for men for centuries. 

Politics, governance, and lawmaking are also reserved for men. 

Women even today, are discouraged from taking their careers too seriously, career for women is seen as an option (and Getting and Staying Married as of the goal). So the playing field is not level.

We need a society where women are valued by their families and that is not possible until they stop being ‘liabilities’ – which is not possible until they are provided equal and fair opportunities. 

Is it stupid to demand equality where physical labor is involved? A lot of women are capable of more stamina than men, but the statistics proving the contrary are larger.

 One should be paid for the amount of work done not for one’s physical strength, because no two men (or women) are equally strong, and a stronger worker may or may not work more.

Equal pay for equal work is fair. Women are generally not paid as much for the same amount of work. Even today it is believed that a man has to support his family so he should be better paid.

If a woman demands equality, she should behave exactly like a male.

Being equal means having an equal right to justice, opportunities, and happiness.

Equality does not mean some people need to behave like other people. And all men (or all women) are not alike either. Equality would mean men and women being able to be themselves – sometimes they might want to do some things that were earlier ‘reserved for men’.

Equality also means men have an equal right to enjoy cooking, caring for family, raising children, crying or dancing. It does not mean they have to behave exactly like women to be treated as equals.

Also, consider, does a Chinese, a Maharashtrian, a Malayali, a Canadian, an Ethiopian or a Goan man behave exactly alike? But everybody is and should be equal in the eyes of the law and society.

My new video blog - Books by Carlo Rovelli

 


Friday, January 15, 2021

Male Chauvinism

A friend asked me yesterday 'do you hate men?'.

I said I don't. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I love men. They are quite a fascinating species, I am a straight person so I have spent innumerable hours thinking about them. I remember my teenage years when I felt extremely curious about the opposite sex. I don't hate men. But I hate male chauvinism. And it is not just the men who are male chauvinists, many women are male chauvinists too (out of choice/ignorance), they think women are the weaker species and have to stick to duties of the gender roles, be subservient, obedient and sacrificing goddesses.

Men who are male chauvinists are idiots. Women who are male chauvinists are beyond idiots, they are the dumbest creatures I have ever met.