The Tradition

 

There once lived a man, he had a cat. Whenever the man did puja his cat got all excited, she jumped on the plates he used for puja and drank the milk he had placed as an offering for the god. The man had to get up a hundred times during the puja to put the cat away. One day he decided enough is enough and started to tie her on a leash in the corner. 

 

Years passed by, the man got married, had kids, when the kids were a little older they started to tie the cat in the corner before the puja started. One day the man died and the kids started doing the puja, then the cat died and they got a new cat because a cat needed to be tied in the corner during the puja. The man probably assumed that his kids will know why the cat had to be in the corner. Generations passed and the man’s descendants were still tying a cat in the corner before puja. 

 

I just told you the story of all our traditions. we follow them without asking - when and under what circumstances did this tradition begin? Why am I following this? is it important and relevant in today’s time?

 

Rakshabandhan is the tradition that I want to talk about today, where a girl does aarti of all her brothers and ties a thread on their wrists asking them to protect her, and then the brothers give her gifts, and the brothers apparently need a reminder about this once every year. Quite a tradition. This tradition started when women were distinctly seen as inferior sub-humans, who would stay confined at home, behind a veil, cook, produce children, take care of the in-laws and entertain their husbands. They were not allowed to get an education or go out and work. So if something had to go wrong with their husband or marriage then they were financially dependent on other men in their family. 

 

I don’t need to tell you this but Women since then have challenged the stereotype, they have stepped out, surpassed in education and employment. They have asserted their independence, opinions, financial freedom and are demanding equal treatment. 

 

And yet we are following a tradition which is a reflection of women’s dependence, helplessness and something that started because they had no other option. 

 

I have discussed this with many women around me and some said ‘but this has to be followed, this is our tradition, We can not follow things just because our ancestors did it, because we today are more evolved and advanced species than what they were and it is only natural to do things in a more evolved and advanced way.

 

some women said this is how we show love for our brothers’. Respect, caring and understanding shows love in any relationship, you don’t need to tie any damn thread to show love. Just like you don’t have to celebrate valentine’s day to prove that you love your partner.

And some women I talked to also went on to say that they don’t care because they love the gifts they get on Rakshabandhan. Ladies, if you haven’t noticed then women are earning their own gifts, it is high time that you start doing that too.

 

Let’s see how many little girls will choose to tie a rakhi after hearing what tying a rakhi implies. 

it implies that a female cannot fend for herself and is dependent upon her brother to protect her and it implies that she is weak and incapable of being independent. 

 

There are other such festivals like  “Bhau Bij” when the sister prays for the long life of her brother and padava when a wife does aarti of her husband. Don’t you see a pattern here? there are no such festivals when brother prays for sister’s long life, or a man does his wife’s aarti. 

 

I wonder If the women from the past came to life somehow what will they think of today’s women? Wouldn’t they feel proud that we have surpassed so many obstacles and have achieved so much, reached places even been to space? Or will they feel proud that we are still following a tradition that reflects woman as a helpless dependent being?

 

rather than blindly following a tradition one needs to understand what the tradition stands for, what is its origination, what is the message that it conveys, is it relevant today and are we following something regressive? 

 

If we have to then we need to leave traditions for the next generations that are a reflection of today’s society, we need to send a relevant message for them that women are strong, independent, free, we earn our own gifts and we are capable to protect ourselves, our family and for that matter our society. 

 

Before you celebrate Raksha Bandhan next year Think about it. This change needs to happen. If not now, when? And if not you, who?