10 awesome movies

 

Thought of the day

 They both thought they were right... and that's where they went wrong. 

"If you love something then let it go, and if it comes back then that's how you know..." ---- 

Ever heard that song? ----- No don't do that. Do not let it go. If you love something or someone then show them, nurture it, nourish it, invest in it - your time, energy, attention, heart, mind, effort. That is what love is. If we love something we should not set it free, we need to put in the work, show them that we care, show them that we want them in our life, don't let them go by putting in zero effort, give it your all - be it friendships, relationships or our career, goals, passions. if we love something - we need to give it our everything. 

Too many times we take out the worst of us on those who do the most for us and deserve the best of us. 

Focus on what is. Rather than what if. 

Past can not be re-lived, it can only be relieved. 

What we watch, listen, eat, read, talk about - influences our state of mind. If we watch idiocy, listen to crap, eat junk, and talk nonsense about people then we can not expect calm and peace in our mind, in our body. We can not input poison and expect peace as an outcome. 

When we meet someone I think it is important to remember that we are just a tiny moment in that person's entire journey. We should not judge them based on that tiny moment and take it as a representation of their entire existence. Maybe they had a bad day, maybe they are struggling with health and whatnot. Just cut some slack. We will meet different people at different points in their life and have a completely different experience. 

I feel we should do our thing - not for admiration, attention, or validation, but because it fuels us, nourishes us, and makes us happy.  When we are busy doing things that we love there is no space for others' thoughts, opinions.

 

We should not worry about what others are thinking, what they are talking about, who are they talking to - about us, we need to worry about what we think about ourselves, what we are saying to ourselves, worry about what we are doing in our life, because they are just renting space in our mind for a little period of time, they will come, they will go, but we are in our mind 24/7, so what we think about ourselves is far more important than what others do. 

It is best to accept ourselves for who we are but be aware of the changes that we need to make to grow and improve. We just need to look in the mirror, focus on our own faults and growth rather than finding faults in others to feel better about ourselves. 

We do not need to be anyone else, We are enough, We do not need to like what others like, look how they look, dress how they dress or work as they do. We should not desire what others have, every single thing that we need to be content - lies within us. 

Let go or get dragged - I know that we all know so many things that no longer serve any purpose in our lives, that no longer have meaning, or enhances/ uplifts us - but we find it hard to let go of them because they become part of us. but if we don't let go of it, it will keep dragging us into a negative place that we don't want to be at - whether it is a relationship, friendship, a grudge, place, thing, whatever it is we need to know when it is time to let go of it. 

We recognize our strengths and weaknesses based on if it is bringing us results, money, fame, success and whatnot. Why can't we just do something for the love of it... without being attached to the expectation of any result. Something that just gives us pure joy. 

Sexism in Bollywood

 

Aurat (woman)

 What a wonderful wonderful poem written by Kaifi… can not believe it was written 70 years ago…

Aurat (Woman)
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe
qalb-e-mahoul mein larzaan sharar-e-jang hain aaj
hausley waqt ke aur ziist ke yakrang hain aaj
aabgiinon mein tapaan walwale-e- sang hain aaj
husn aur ishq ham aawaaz-o-humaahang hain aaj
jis mein jaltaa huun usi aag mein jalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

Arise, my love, for now you must march with me
Flames of war are ablaze in our world today
Time and fate have the same aspirations today
Our tears will flow like hot lava today
Beauty and love have one life and one soul today
You must burn in the fire of freedom with me
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me

zindagii jehad mein hai sabr ke qaabuu mein nahiin
nabz-e-hastii kaa lahuu kaamptii aansuu mein nahii
urne khulne mein hai nakhat kham-e-gesu mein nahiin
jannat aik aur hai jo mard ke pahluu mein nahiin
uskii aazaad ravish par bhii machalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

Patience will not help you struggle through life
Blood, not tears, sustains the pulse of life
You will fly when you’re free and not ensnared by love
Heaven is not just in the arms of the man you love
Walk unfettered on the path of freedom with me
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me

goshey goshey mein sulagtii hai chitaa tere liye
farz kaa bhes badaltii hai qazaa tere liye
qahar hai terii har narm adaa tere liye
zahar hii zahar hai duniyaa kii havaa tere liye
rut badal daal agar phuulnaa phalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

Wherever you go sacrifice awaits you
To surrender is a way of life for you
All your charms condemn you
The ways of the world are poison for you
Change the seasons to flourish and be free
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me.

qadr ab tak terii tarriikh ne jaanii hii nahiin
tujh mein shole bhii hain bas ashkfishaanii hii nahiin
tu haqiiqat bhii hai dilchasp kahaanii hii nahiin
terii hastii bhii hai ik chiiz javaanii hii nahiin
apnii tarrikh kaa unvaan badalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

History has not known your worth thus far
You have burning embers too, not merely tears
You’re reality too, not a mere amusing anecdote
Your personality is something too, not just your youth
You’ve to change the title of your history
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me.

tod kar rasm ke but bare qadamat se nikal
zof-e-ishrat se nikal, vaham-e-nazaakat se nikal
nafs ke khiinche hue halq-e-azmal se nikal
yeh bhii ek qaid hii hai, qaid-e-muhabbat se nikal
raah kaa khaar hii kyaa gul bhii kuchalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

Emerge out of ancient bondage, break the idols of tradition,
the weakness of pleasure, this mirage of fragility
these self-drawn boundaries of imagined greatness
the bondage of love, for this too is a bondage
Not merely the thorns on the path, you have to trample on flowers too
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me.

tod yeh azm-shikan dagdag-e-pand bhii tor
terii khaatir hai jo zanjiir vah saugandh bhii tor
tauq yeh bhii zammruud kaa gulband bhii tor
tod paimana-e-mardaan-e-khirdmand bhii tor
banke tuufaan chhalaknaa hai ubalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

Shatter these resolve breaking suspicions of sermons
these vows that have become shackles
this too, this necklace of emeralds
these standards set by the wise men
You have to turn into a tempest, bubble and boil over
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me.

tuu falaatuno-arastuu haii tuu zohraa parviin
tere qabze mein hai garduun, terii thokar mein zamiin
haan, uthaa, jald uthaa paae-muqqadar se jabiin
main bhii rukne kaa nahii waqt bhii rukne kaa nahiin
larkharaayegii kahaan tak ki sambhalnaa hai tujhe
uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe

You are Aristotle’s philosophy, Venus, Pleiades
You control the sky, the earth at your feet
Yes, raise, fast, raise your forehead from the feet of fate
I too am not going to pause, nor will the time
How long would you falter, you have to be firm
Arise, my love, for now you must march with me

Code breaker

 My new video post - 

The Tradition

 

There once lived a man, he had a cat. Whenever the man did puja his cat got all excited, she jumped on the plates he used for puja and drank the milk he had placed as an offering for the god. The man had to get up a hundred times during the puja to put the cat away. One day he decided enough is enough and started to tie her on a leash in the corner. 

 

Years passed by, the man got married, had kids, when the kids were a little older they started to tie the cat in the corner before the puja started. One day the man died and the kids started doing the puja, then the cat died and they got a new cat because a cat needed to be tied in the corner during the puja. The man probably assumed that his kids will know why the cat had to be in the corner. Generations passed and the man’s descendants were still tying a cat in the corner before puja. 

 

I just told you the story of all our traditions. we follow them without asking - when and under what circumstances did this tradition begin? Why am I following this? is it important and relevant in today’s time?

 

Rakshabandhan is the tradition that I want to talk about today, where a girl does aarti of all her brothers and ties a thread on their wrists asking them to protect her, and then the brothers give her gifts, and the brothers apparently need a reminder about this once every year. Quite a tradition. This tradition started when women were distinctly seen as inferior sub-humans, who would stay confined at home, behind a veil, cook, produce children, take care of the in-laws and entertain their husbands. They were not allowed to get an education or go out and work. So if something had to go wrong with their husband or marriage then they were financially dependent on other men in their family. 

 

I don’t need to tell you this but Women since then have challenged the stereotype, they have stepped out, surpassed in education and employment. They have asserted their independence, opinions, financial freedom and are demanding equal treatment. 

 

And yet we are following a tradition which is a reflection of women’s dependence, helplessness and something that started because they had no other option. 

 

I have discussed this with many women around me and some said ‘but this has to be followed, this is our tradition, We can not follow things just because our ancestors did it, because we today are more evolved and advanced species than what they were and it is only natural to do things in a more evolved and advanced way.

 

some women said this is how we show love for our brothers’. Respect, caring and understanding shows love in any relationship, you don’t need to tie any damn thread to show love. Just like you don’t have to celebrate valentine’s day to prove that you love your partner.

And some women I talked to also went on to say that they don’t care because they love the gifts they get on Rakshabandhan. Ladies, if you haven’t noticed then women are earning their own gifts, it is high time that you start doing that too.

 

Let’s see how many little girls will choose to tie a rakhi after hearing what tying a rakhi implies. 

it implies that a female cannot fend for herself and is dependent upon her brother to protect her and it implies that she is weak and incapable of being independent. 

 

There are other such festivals like  “Bhau Bij” when the sister prays for the long life of her brother and padava when a wife does aarti of her husband. Don’t you see a pattern here? there are no such festivals when brother prays for sister’s long life, or a man does his wife’s aarti. 

 

I wonder If the women from the past came to life somehow what will they think of today’s women? Wouldn’t they feel proud that we have surpassed so many obstacles and have achieved so much, reached places even been to space? Or will they feel proud that we are still following a tradition that reflects woman as a helpless dependent being?

 

rather than blindly following a tradition one needs to understand what the tradition stands for, what is its origination, what is the message that it conveys, is it relevant today and are we following something regressive? 

 

If we have to then we need to leave traditions for the next generations that are a reflection of today’s society, we need to send a relevant message for them that women are strong, independent, free, we earn our own gifts and we are capable to protect ourselves, our family and for that matter our society. 

 

Before you celebrate Raksha Bandhan next year Think about it. This change needs to happen. If not now, when? And if not you, who?

The Cooking Chromosome

“Rasikaaaa how will you find a husband if you don’t know how to cook?” a man once asked me out of concern.  I panicked, I didn’t know it was a prerequisite to get married. And I was so angry with my parents because, well, they always told me to make a career, make a living, be independent but never told me to learn how to cook.

 

A woman once told me “Rasika, You better learn how to cook, because the way to a man’s heart goes through his…. stomach,” yes she said stomach, I don’t know what you were thinking. 

 

A way to a man’s heart goes through his stomach, you must have heard that before. I obviously ignored her as who even wants to marry such a shallow person whose heart revolves around his stomach?

 

I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say. 

 

I often wonder why is there so much pressure on women to cook? 

 

I wondered if women are born with a cooking gene? It can not be genetic for sure, because I and many women I know are definitely not born with that gene. So I thought it must be some sort of brainpower that can only be acquired by women? Like you know, learning multiple languages is not everyone’s cup of tea. But It can not be that too because most of the rich and famous chefs around the world are men. So there is neither a cooking gene nor a cooking chromosome.

 

So I don’t know why women are socialized to see cooking as their role? The problem with gender roles is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. It prescribes what we should be doing rather than recognizing what we want and do not want to do.

 

today women are pilots, doctors, engineers, scientists, police, construction workers, astronauts, teachers. Women have reached everywhere, but what is it about men that they are not able to reach a room called kitchen in their very own house?

 

I always thought that at this age We should celebrate being women and having the opportunities to do things that our grandmothers and great grandmothers were not allowed to do. Though now, of course, I realize that women are expected to do the cooking, cleaning, childcare, chores along with their ambitions… It is disheartening to see this happen. 

 

Men should be able to Realize that women are burdened with a lot, they are equally tired as you are, they are equally looking for a break as you are, and I am not even talking about equality here, but it is basic humanity. 

 

Also, I feel Going to restaurants, having frozen food is not the solution to this problem,  it won’t let you create better health and body for yourself and your family. Fresh home-cooked food every day for kids is going to build them a strong health foundation. 

 

This is 2019 and if you still think that it is a woman’s job to cook then you have some deep-rooted issues and it is high time you address them. 

 

Now obviously there are many men who cook because many people evolve, advance and progress with time, age and with the world. But I have often seen that when a man cooks his wife’s attitude is judged, their relationship is questioned. 

 

What I don’t understand is Why do people even notice it when men are cooking? See, I do not like to cook but it is an important life skill that I had to acquire for better health.  And what I have realized is cooking is comparatively an easy skill to acquire, as long as you can see, have hands and can read and follow basic instructions called recipes, you are good to go. And many Men are intelligent enough to acquire these simple skills. 

 

So Why isn’t it still seen perfectly normal and natural that a man cooks, takes care of his own child and takes care of chores around his own house? 

 

There is nothing derogatory about cooking. The ability to feed and nourish oneself and one’s family is quite a noble task. So if a man is being responsible then why is this behavior condemned?

 

Do you think that it is unmanly to cook? I think it’s unmanly not to be able to cook. Because if you really want to go for the archaic gender definitions then a man spends time with his family, a man is independent, a man is healthy and strong and a man provides for himself and others. 

 

History tells us that cooking is the woman’s job. But what we do today is also going to be history for the next generations, let's create an evolved history for them. Let our kids see mothers and fathers both cook in the kitchen.  

 

And next time you see a man cook, remember that there is nothing wrong with his wife’s attitude, or their relationship. In fact, men who cook live in happy marriages because there is less stress, better health, more family time and more energy left to do whatever they want to do.